Can't believe I'll be there in about 48 hours.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Friday, March 17, 2006
I'm exhausted
Do you ever drive around and get the feeling that your life would make a good and interesting movie (with proper editing that is) and then other times you think...nah, it would just be boring as all hell. That's what I think - both, all the time. Sometimes I listen to 91.5 on my radio (most of the time actually) which is NPR, which I love and don't even get me started on my This American Life obsession because I totally love that radio show - but sometimes I'm inside out and I listen to 95.1 which is Latin Vibe. Which is really weird and I have no idea why I do that. Most of the songs are in spanish, which I do not speak, except to catch the ocassional phrase here and there but that's me. Actually that sorta says a lot about me. That and the fact that I never listen to latin vibe when other people are in the car. That also says something too I guess.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Red cloud
This would be on the top of the list of the reasons we moved to arizona. So indescribably great are the sunsets here.
standing still - observing
This was one of those online personality tests....to which I say DUH!
Lezlee, you're an Observer!
This means you're one of the more kind-hearted people around. You are unusually intuitive, and you probably understand yourself, as well as others. That also means you're a good mediator — though you may prefer to spend more time on your own than most.
You are better equipped than many to steer your life in the right direction. Understanding more about the components of your personality will reveal unique information that even people like you might not realize. And the better you know yourself, the more confident you'll be making decisions that affect your life.
Lezlee, you're an Observer!
This means you're one of the more kind-hearted people around. You are unusually intuitive, and you probably understand yourself, as well as others. That also means you're a good mediator — though you may prefer to spend more time on your own than most.
You are better equipped than many to steer your life in the right direction. Understanding more about the components of your personality will reveal unique information that even people like you might not realize. And the better you know yourself, the more confident you'll be making decisions that affect your life.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
BirdVision
From Sass as she tagged some folks on minday with this:
Six things no one sorta' doesn't know (well or most people anyway):
1. I'm terrified of birds...particularly blackbirds, ravens, seagulls, starlings and pigeons.
2. I fall asleep during chase scenes in movies - they bore me to death.
3. People blurt out personal things to me all the time - complete strangers, I have a certain affect on people.
4. I hate it if I hate someone and have to figure out a way to feel sorry for them instead so I can let go of the ill feelings.
5. I keep people's secrets pretty well.
6. I love to go the movies alone, and usually won't tell my husband or best friend if I do it - it's a SECRET.
That's all for today except:
Why do I over-commit myself so much where church is involved? I always feel this compulsion to say yes to everything and I feel terrible if I have to say no. And I think it's because I get easily annoyed with the people who say "I'm too busy, I can't" because then 10% of us end up doing 90% of the work and it's always that way. But I never want to be in that 90% who does the 10% of the work. But they're probably on to something if you think about it.
Six things no one sorta' doesn't know (well or most people anyway):
1. I'm terrified of birds...particularly blackbirds, ravens, seagulls, starlings and pigeons.
2. I fall asleep during chase scenes in movies - they bore me to death.
3. People blurt out personal things to me all the time - complete strangers, I have a certain affect on people.
4. I hate it if I hate someone and have to figure out a way to feel sorry for them instead so I can let go of the ill feelings.
5. I keep people's secrets pretty well.
6. I love to go the movies alone, and usually won't tell my husband or best friend if I do it - it's a SECRET.
That's all for today except:
Why do I over-commit myself so much where church is involved? I always feel this compulsion to say yes to everything and I feel terrible if I have to say no. And I think it's because I get easily annoyed with the people who say "I'm too busy, I can't" because then 10% of us end up doing 90% of the work and it's always that way. But I never want to be in that 90% who does the 10% of the work. But they're probably on to something if you think about it.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Favorites and other random thoughts...It's late
Four jobs I’ve had:
Picking Raspberries on my grandpas farm, early in the morning while in high school, he let me keep all the profits from the sale of said raspberries and the other main job benefit was that I would occasionaly see the boys moving pipe walking past with their shirts off and their wonderful summer tans displayed.
Information Desk girl at the College Campus (BYU Idaho - aka Ricks) where I basically worried mostly about looking cute every day because it was a great place to be seen and show off my fashion sense. Disemenation of information was actually only secondarily important. Actually flirting with co-workers and passer-bys while still trying to seem professional in my heels and skirt was second, disemenation of information third.
Worked for a complete hard ass as a secretary for 3 years and hold the record for working for that particular hard ass. So I feel sickly proud or like a complete massochist, I'm never sure exactly which.
Made shaved ice from a "sno shack" over one summer. Favorite flavor? (cause I sampled all 35 of them baby) mix some Tigers Blood and some Sour Pink Lemonade. You can't beat it. That didn't even seem like a real job. Except when you had to use the ice pick on the big humongous block of ice, I thought ice picks were made up devices used in movies to murder people. But they are real and they are sharp and they are hard to use and the COULD most defintely kill someone.
Four movies I can watch over and over:
Let's start with a John Cusack movie and see if they all turn out that way or if I can come up with something other than my JC obsession:
1. Grosse Pointe Blank, love John, love Martin, love the premise, never gets old even though I now know every single solitary line of the movie
2. Pretty In Pink - cheesey yes, but 80s awesome, totally. And I still want to be Molly Ringwald and drive that damn Carmen Ghia. My parents very well might have ruined the 80s for me by not buying me that car. Never get sick of it.
3. The Graduate. It never gets old. I notice new nuanced lines every time I watch it. Benjamin at the bottom of that pool...doesn't everyone feel like Benjamin at the bottom of the pool half the time?
4. Amelie. Greatest film ever maybe. So gorgeous, so oddly uplifting. Makes me want to live in Paris and you could even watch it with the sound off and it would satisfy over and over and over, but with the sound on and the Yan Tiersen soundtrack, you can't go wrong.
Four places I’ve lived:
Rexburg Idaho
West Yellowstone Montana
Salt Lake City Utah
Charlottesville Virginia
(that's not an all inclusive list but that's 4)
4 TV shows I've loved:
BEWITCHED!
6 Feet Under!
Brady Bunch
The Office
Four places I’ve vacationed:
Tough to list just four but
1. London/Scotland
2. Rocky Point Mexico
3. San Francisco California
4. Disneyland
Four of my favorite dishes:
Pastas - especially Farfalle With Chicken from Cheesecake Factory
My own fried chicken
Panda Orange Chicken
Kiddy cereals...esp, Captain Crunch, Apple Jacks & Honey Smacks with skim milk!
Four sites I visit daily:
Ebay
Flickr
Mindsay (secretive lair of JC fans)
Go Fug Yourself
Four places I would rather be right now:
Vegas baby (preferably the spa at the Mandalay)
On a warm beach, white clean sand, diet coke at hand, licorice, bad magazines, good books, comfy chair, cool clean ocean water to dip in whenever I feel like it.
Bed, sound asleep having really great, non-anxiety dreams.
London, just exploring.
4 Books I highly recommend:
1. Life of Pi
2. Catcher in the Rye (and if you come back and tell me you didn't like it I will probably not ever see you in the same light ever again, also you have to at least imagine that you're about 19 while you're reading it)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird
4. The Bell Jar
Picking Raspberries on my grandpas farm, early in the morning while in high school, he let me keep all the profits from the sale of said raspberries and the other main job benefit was that I would occasionaly see the boys moving pipe walking past with their shirts off and their wonderful summer tans displayed.
Information Desk girl at the College Campus (BYU Idaho - aka Ricks) where I basically worried mostly about looking cute every day because it was a great place to be seen and show off my fashion sense. Disemenation of information was actually only secondarily important. Actually flirting with co-workers and passer-bys while still trying to seem professional in my heels and skirt was second, disemenation of information third.
Worked for a complete hard ass as a secretary for 3 years and hold the record for working for that particular hard ass. So I feel sickly proud or like a complete massochist, I'm never sure exactly which.
Made shaved ice from a "sno shack" over one summer. Favorite flavor? (cause I sampled all 35 of them baby) mix some Tigers Blood and some Sour Pink Lemonade. You can't beat it. That didn't even seem like a real job. Except when you had to use the ice pick on the big humongous block of ice, I thought ice picks were made up devices used in movies to murder people. But they are real and they are sharp and they are hard to use and the COULD most defintely kill someone.
Four movies I can watch over and over:
Let's start with a John Cusack movie and see if they all turn out that way or if I can come up with something other than my JC obsession:
1. Grosse Pointe Blank, love John, love Martin, love the premise, never gets old even though I now know every single solitary line of the movie
2. Pretty In Pink - cheesey yes, but 80s awesome, totally. And I still want to be Molly Ringwald and drive that damn Carmen Ghia. My parents very well might have ruined the 80s for me by not buying me that car. Never get sick of it.
3. The Graduate. It never gets old. I notice new nuanced lines every time I watch it. Benjamin at the bottom of that pool...doesn't everyone feel like Benjamin at the bottom of the pool half the time?
4. Amelie. Greatest film ever maybe. So gorgeous, so oddly uplifting. Makes me want to live in Paris and you could even watch it with the sound off and it would satisfy over and over and over, but with the sound on and the Yan Tiersen soundtrack, you can't go wrong.
Four places I’ve lived:
Rexburg Idaho
West Yellowstone Montana
Salt Lake City Utah
Charlottesville Virginia
(that's not an all inclusive list but that's 4)
4 TV shows I've loved:
BEWITCHED!
6 Feet Under!
Brady Bunch
The Office
Four places I’ve vacationed:
Tough to list just four but
1. London/Scotland
2. Rocky Point Mexico
3. San Francisco California
4. Disneyland
Four of my favorite dishes:
Pastas - especially Farfalle With Chicken from Cheesecake Factory
My own fried chicken
Panda Orange Chicken
Kiddy cereals...esp, Captain Crunch, Apple Jacks & Honey Smacks with skim milk!
Four sites I visit daily:
Ebay
Flickr
Mindsay (secretive lair of JC fans)
Go Fug Yourself
Four places I would rather be right now:
Vegas baby (preferably the spa at the Mandalay)
On a warm beach, white clean sand, diet coke at hand, licorice, bad magazines, good books, comfy chair, cool clean ocean water to dip in whenever I feel like it.
Bed, sound asleep having really great, non-anxiety dreams.
London, just exploring.
4 Books I highly recommend:
1. Life of Pi
2. Catcher in the Rye (and if you come back and tell me you didn't like it I will probably not ever see you in the same light ever again, also you have to at least imagine that you're about 19 while you're reading it)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird
4. The Bell Jar
Random Chess Thoughts
So I’m at this chess tournament thing for Brennan. And we’ve never done this before. And it’s exactly like I thought it would be. Like on searching for Bobby Fischer. All these kids, in a room, with signs on the windows telling the parents to stay back. I’m looking around at all these kids and their parents and this is a totally different set of kids and parents than the ones that you see at the Basketball games or the baseball games - things like that. Those parents always make me feel nerdy. Like I don’t really fit in, and they’re all in their team tshirts and yelling and screaming and telling their kids what to do and I’m always just sort of observing, and quietly, in my head, praying for my child and praying he will do the best he can and just nervous. Too nervous to chit chat with the other parents and then you get the looks. Looks like “she’s the one whose kid is making us loose”. Becuase quite frankly none of my kids have ever been very good at sports. And you sign them up for all these teams when they are young because you want to give them a shot and see if they have any aptitude and because they beg to do it. But then they’re on the team and it becomes painfully obvious that all these other parents are spending a lot of time teaching their kids the fundamentals of the game and all these other parents are obviously throwing a ball around in the back yard a whole lot with their kids and well...I was never any good at sports and I’m just not that mom. And quite frankly, Kirk has never really been that dad. So now I’m here. On my laptop, which seemed a novel idea, but actually the place is filled with parents on their laptops. Which I find amusing, because I’ve never seen a laptop at a baseball game. But here...to be honest, I am defintely not fitting in either. Because I’m not a big enough nerd or brainiac or whatever for this. These parents are actually practicing chess with their kids on portable chess sets before the tournament starts and they are all dressed for comfort. Which can mean a lot of different things but there are a lot of Tiva sandals and fleece jackets and occassionaly bad track suits. Once in a while there’s a mom with a Dooney and Bourke bag and carefully coiffed hair and expertly brown and blonde dye job who looks at her child like “how did I wind up with a nerdy kid like you?”. But I don’t really fit here either. Because, I don’t know, I’ve got on my black converse and my damaged jeans and a tshirt and levi jacket. These are the same black converse that Kurt Cobain was wearing when he committed suicide, or when Courtney had him killed, depending on which version you believe. And that’s just it, I’m pretty sure nobdy here is really up on the controversy of whether or not Courtney Love might have had Kurt Cobain killed because he was about to divorce her lipstick smeared drugged out ass. And I’m also pretty sure nobody here would care. So me and my obscure knowledge about where John Cusack is buying his latest apartment/penthouse and the ins and outs of the Seattle “Grunge Rock” scene’s beginnings are not really the norm here. To be honest, I’m not really sure they’re the norm anywhere - because frankly I’ve never been able to figure out just which kind of parent I am. I’m not really the cool parent who thinks underage drinking is just the norm and “fine with it - they’re going to start sometime” (these by the way are the same parents who freaked out when their kids rode their bikes without their bicycle helmets). And I’m also not the over-protective huvering type. I like to watch children challenge themselves and I don’t know, I just don’t have it in me to panic if my kid is riding his skateboard without his safety pads. But I’ll buy the safetypads. But I don’t have it in me to worry about the lot of things “normal” parents seem to worry about. So I don’t know what that says. I’m not the parent who wants my kids roaming the streets unsupervised but I’m also not the parent who freaks out to leave her nine year old home alone for an hour, if neccessary. As a parent I often feel an odd mixture of being over-involved in their lives and under-involved. Selfish and self-less at odds with each other all the time. But I’ll sit here for 4 hours while my kid plays chess, my butt on the hard pavement, typing this out on my keypad so I don’t really have to interact or talk to any of these other parents. So I guess I’m that parent.
There are teenagers who look like they just don’t quite know where they fit into society yet. Or maybe even where they will fit into society. And that’s interesting to watch. Because you just wonder, is this kid going to turn into the next Bill Gates or is this kid going to wind up in some sub managerial role in a small firm just content to enforce the “rules” of the office. Like Dwight on “The Office”. There is a group of five boys roaming around who are probably 13 or so and I just realized one of them is a girl. Her legs are shaped slightly differently from the boys and ilook freshly shaved, f you look really closely you can see that she has prettier softer features. Not like a pretty boy but like a girl who is trying to just hang with the guys. Her hair is the same length as all her guy friends, but all her guy friends have should or chin length hair. She’s wearing skater clothes, baggy sweatshirt, cutoff jean shorts and skater shoes in black. It’s so easy to miss that she’s a girl. She blends in so well. But not in that butchy tomboy girl sort of way, although I’m sure she considers herself a tomboy. But more in a, this is my comfort zone, kind of way. For now, for this little bit of time, I am a chess nerd. Later she might be a raving beauty. But for now, she hangs out with the guys and plays chess and probably skateboards. And I heard her make the comment “I should make a documentary called ‘The Freaks I Hang Out With’. Which made me smile.
There are teenagers who look like they just don’t quite know where they fit into society yet. Or maybe even where they will fit into society. And that’s interesting to watch. Because you just wonder, is this kid going to turn into the next Bill Gates or is this kid going to wind up in some sub managerial role in a small firm just content to enforce the “rules” of the office. Like Dwight on “The Office”. There is a group of five boys roaming around who are probably 13 or so and I just realized one of them is a girl. Her legs are shaped slightly differently from the boys and ilook freshly shaved, f you look really closely you can see that she has prettier softer features. Not like a pretty boy but like a girl who is trying to just hang with the guys. Her hair is the same length as all her guy friends, but all her guy friends have should or chin length hair. She’s wearing skater clothes, baggy sweatshirt, cutoff jean shorts and skater shoes in black. It’s so easy to miss that she’s a girl. She blends in so well. But not in that butchy tomboy girl sort of way, although I’m sure she considers herself a tomboy. But more in a, this is my comfort zone, kind of way. For now, for this little bit of time, I am a chess nerd. Later she might be a raving beauty. But for now, she hangs out with the guys and plays chess and probably skateboards. And I heard her make the comment “I should make a documentary called ‘The Freaks I Hang Out With’. Which made me smile.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
A Gondola Glides Down the Venetian's Canal
I forgot to mention that
Vegas was awesome last month. Wish we could go there all the time. And for LONGER. So relaxing.
Lezlee
Vegas was awesome last month. Wish we could go there all the time. And for LONGER. So relaxing.
Lezlee
Friday, February 24, 2006
Diet Coke & Valium
I always said this was the perfect diet for a mom.
Random thoughts: I like the babybel cheese that's covered in wax and the way the wax unfurls when you pull the little tag. Ingenious.
I like being alone in the house.
The perfect time of day is about 10:58 pm.
The worst time of day is about 5:00 pm
Hard licorice is still good.
Tranquility is difficult to find but on those rare occassions when you do manage to capture it they are memorable and great. Times I remember as tranquil:
Sun Valley Idaho in 1981 w/ Alicia
The spa at the Mirage w/ Shannon the year 2000
The pool at the Mandalay Bay 2003
A hottub at a hotel in Salt Lake City when I was about 16 years old, by myself under a starry sky.
Mexico, always in Mexico, on the beach with my licorice.
Stolen moments in the car when it's cold outside but the sun warms the entire interior of the car. Sometimes I won't get out of the car when it's like that. Like a cat.
Sunbathing in my backyard between the ages of 13-17, the smell of Hawaiian Tropicana Suntan oil in my nose - or Baby Oil.
Love's babysoft perfume circa 1981.
Scotland in the ruined Abby's.
Bubble baths and one in particular when I was 17 and realized I was 17 - like really KNEW I was only 17 and that I was free, free, free and I would never be that free ever again. That was the moment I realized childhood was about to end, but I remember it fondly.
Curling up in the fetal position and falling asleep when you don't mean to.
College Campus'. Always feel tranquil on them. Every time.
Under a tree in provo utah, writing.
On my bed in my room in provo utah, writing.
These moments are not to be confused with happiness or bliss - those are very different states.
Random thoughts: I like the babybel cheese that's covered in wax and the way the wax unfurls when you pull the little tag. Ingenious.
I like being alone in the house.
The perfect time of day is about 10:58 pm.
The worst time of day is about 5:00 pm
Hard licorice is still good.
Tranquility is difficult to find but on those rare occassions when you do manage to capture it they are memorable and great. Times I remember as tranquil:
Sun Valley Idaho in 1981 w/ Alicia
The spa at the Mirage w/ Shannon the year 2000
The pool at the Mandalay Bay 2003
A hottub at a hotel in Salt Lake City when I was about 16 years old, by myself under a starry sky.
Mexico, always in Mexico, on the beach with my licorice.
Stolen moments in the car when it's cold outside but the sun warms the entire interior of the car. Sometimes I won't get out of the car when it's like that. Like a cat.
Sunbathing in my backyard between the ages of 13-17, the smell of Hawaiian Tropicana Suntan oil in my nose - or Baby Oil.
Love's babysoft perfume circa 1981.
Scotland in the ruined Abby's.
Bubble baths and one in particular when I was 17 and realized I was 17 - like really KNEW I was only 17 and that I was free, free, free and I would never be that free ever again. That was the moment I realized childhood was about to end, but I remember it fondly.
Curling up in the fetal position and falling asleep when you don't mean to.
College Campus'. Always feel tranquil on them. Every time.
Under a tree in provo utah, writing.
On my bed in my room in provo utah, writing.
These moments are not to be confused with happiness or bliss - those are very different states.
Monday, February 20, 2006
0013. nirvana
Feeling obsessive about Kurt Cobain again...don't know why I do that, for a while it was Andy Warhol...then years later serial killers....kinda weird. Kurt Cobain was a couple of years ago and now I feel a renewed interest. And sometimes I wonder how as a suburban/urban housewife whose life is basically the complete diametric opposite of Kurt Cobain can feel an affinity for the man. But somewhow I do. I think sometimes I want to save the crazy people...or I relate, or something. I dunno. I try not to worry about it too much just live it or whatever.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Bangalore
We went out to dinner with some of our good friends last night. Turns out they are moving to Bangalore India for at about two years while he sets up a branch law firm there for the national firm he works for. They amaze me because they have 2 little toddlers and they are so advenurous. I feel so boring and domestic by comparison. But would I really have ever moved to Bangalore?
Friday, February 17, 2006
wall on Curacao colour has arisen by sea air
I like old busted up things that are still beautiful somehow. Like this.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Loch Ness
I'm trying to plan a trip to Scotland for us next month. It's getting a bit tough because there is always more than you can possibly see in 10 days, and Kirk and I have been there before but this time we are taking Holden so you kind of want to let him see some of the same cook things you already saw. We saw this castle last time - that's loch ness in the background.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
violent-femmes-
I'm kinda bummed because I just found out the Violent Femmes were at the Marquee like 2 weeks ago and I totally missed it! I usually check to see when they're coming to town but last time I checked they were only coming to Tucson and not to Phoenix. Dang. Anyway, I am EXHAUSTED today. SERIOUSLY exhausted. It's bad when you are driving your kids to school and you keep wondering if it would be okay to close just one eye, just for a little while. I have this bad situation where I am a total night owl and have tons of energy at night and really don't ever want to go to bed but then I have to be up at 5 am to get Holden going. If I can figure out a way to take a nap today, I totally have to do it. But missing the Femmes - that makes me sad...they usually only come once a year.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Violent Femmes
I heart the Violent Femmes. Seriously. I heart Gordon the most. And I will always love the Violent Femmes, so I will never age. Because that's the bargain you make when you sign on to be a Violent Femmes fan forever. Same reason I'll always love Holden Caulfield, and even though JD Salinger might turn out to be a real bastard - it could just be because he stopped believing in Holden. So I hold on to Holden, and I hold on to the Violent Femmes, and that's how I hold on to my still deeply held belief in Santa Claus, because kind of, in a way, I refuse to grow up.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Wind in her Hair
We took all these photos of Hollie downtown and they all turned out so great. This is one of the digitals but the ones I took with my Nikon were shockingly good as well. Kirk is using them to start a series of paintings. She's almost the perfect model. She pretty but not too perfect looking - she got the whole long leg thing but her face is interesting. The light and the wind were very cooperative. I wish most of my days were filled with creative endeavors rather than what they usually ARE filled with.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Toothache
Dude, I have a serious toothache. Saw the endodontist today and even he seemed unsettled by the large amounts of puss spewing from my root canal done in Mexico about 2 years ago when I was too retarded to figure out that my insurance would have been cheaper than paying for Mexican dentistry. What is wrong with me?
Monday, January 23, 2006
Playing on flickr
Suppose to be a grown-up today. Suppose to do "invoices" and "shopping" and "bill paying" and oh, I dont' know maybe change out of my sock monkey pajamas at some point, but no....I continue to play.
Monday, December 26, 2005
The Volcano at the Mirage
Hooraw! We're going to vegas for a vacation before the New Year begins. Here's to kicking off 2006 the right way. (Christmas was great).
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