Feral Cats in the Land of Mouse - Ingredients for an Awesome Vacation!

Vacation was awesome.  Mainly because it was VACATION.  My future goal is to have a whole week or two off at once.  Doesn't that sound heavenly?  But even though my vacation was only four days - it was still pretty great.

We crammed 5 people into my Prius to make the trip to California from Phoenix.  From her all the way to the beach in Newport it's about 7 hours.  I always want it to be less, but realistically you have to plan on 7.  Man do I love that Prius.  I figure the gas to drive there cost us about $28.

We went straight to the beach and then had the luck of getting parking spot right next to a fantastic spot.  It couldn't have worked out better.  I fed the meter to allow us to stay until after 5 pm that evening.  It was absolutely beautiful.  The weather was perfect.  I even bought a fresh cut mango to enjoy on the beach and that was pretty awesome as well.  Here's an instagram photo I took while lazing on the sand with my book.

Later we checked in to our secret hotel by Disneyland.  I'm not going to tell you about our hotel.  Know why?  Because I honestly don't want everyone to find out about it.  It's the least expensive half-way decent hotel I've found close to Disneyland and they don't really advertise very much online so it's actually a little hard to find.  I found it back in the mid 90s through a travel agency (do those even exist anymore?).  They seem busy enough to stay in business but not so busy that they will remodel or rip the place down and build something expensive in it's place.  If you really want to know ask me and I'll tell you personally.  :)

We spent the next 2 days in Disneyland and California adventure and that is always fun.  But it was super great having all my grown kids there with me.  Yes, Disneyland was fun when they were little.  But I would say it's just as fun now.  And I don't have to find a bathroom to change any little kids diapers anymore.  We even ate at the Blue Bayou which was awesome (pricey yes, but totally worth it).

(we rode this Disney train and around and around one night - it was kind of crazy - I now have the weird song memorized that they play when you're in the "grand canyon and the primitive world").  

I can never decide what my favorite ride is.  I still really love splash mountain - but we got so wet this time I was wet for most of the day!  I do really like California Screamer and Tower of Terror too.  But honestly, this time I think maybe I most enjoyed Soaring over California - which I've always liked but seemed especially lovely this year.  There were a couple of new rides I had not seen or ridden before - the new Ariel ride in California Adventures is pretty cute.  And I will always love Pirates of the Caribbean and The Haunted Mansion - Pirates possibly being the ride we went on the most times.  I lost track. 

The kids were old enough to get into looking at all the interesting details and trying to figure stuff out like when you're on the Pirates ride - where the heck does that ride go?  (into the parking lot it would seem - or something!) and Jordan read up on all kids of weird disney facts before we left.  We were looking for hidden Mickeys everywhere and strange little things you've probably never noticed before.  

Jordan told us there are over 200 feral cats inside Disneyland and that they feed them.  I wasn't sure I believed that until the last night near main street and the Sleeping Beauty Castle one darted across our path!  She looked like this: 

When I got back to the hotel that night I had to look it up and sure enough!  They DO keep and feed feral cats.  They keep the rodent population down.  They showed up spontaneously in the early years of the park and they have been feeding them and spaying and neutering them ever since.  Random cats still keep showing up.  You have to admit it is a pretty good find of a place to live if you're a feral cat.  There are about 6 cat feeding stations around the park in areas where you wouldn't notice them.  One is up on the old platform for the old tram that used to stretch across the park and go through the matterhorn.  One of the stations is still there in Fantasyland kind of look up when you're in the food area kitty corner from Dumbo.  It's kind of hidden, but it's there in the corner.  Apparently the cats also really like the area around Tom Sawyer Island and the food area in Adventureland near Splash Mountain.  They like the area near the train tracks back behind Tom Sawyer island too and there is a feeding station near there as well.  

When Holden was little he used to say that if he was homeless he would go live inside Disneyland.  At the time I don't think he realized that place really never sleeps.  There are people working inside that park 24/7 so you really would not be able to hide inside that park.  But he loved that idea.  

Sadly, all Disneyland vacations must come to an end.  

We made one last stop on our way home in Pasadena.  We stopped at a place for lunch called Lemonade.  It was super tasty healthy food as well as macarons and multiple kinds of lemonade.  It was really good.  I would definitely go again.  In fact, I was wishing we had them here in Phoenix.  

I mean if you only have 4 days to spend on vacation - these are a pretty good way to spend 4 days.  

A love letter about being a mom of teens

Many times this week I have had a conversation or an email exchange with mothers who express worry and fear about "doing it wrong".  Or who are just struggling with parts of parenting that they never are quite sure about.  This post is made in the spirit of encouragement.  

Being a mom - I have absolutely 100% loved being a mother.  Nothing I ever do will compare to it.  I love it so much, I almost feel guilty about it.  Probably because I am no stranger to unmet needs or wishes - there are lots of things I would like in this world which I do not have, and I know there are lots of men and women who would like to have children and don't have them for various reasons - I have a sort of weird guilt about that - that in this one area of my life I feel like I practically won the lottery.   I know I have been an imperfect mother.  But all the moms in the world are with me on that one - we are all imperfect.  Probably the very best most gratifying part of being a mom has been watching my kids turn to teens and then adults (yes, it's true, in spite of feeling like I could still be a teen myself sometimes, I have an ADULT child).  

When I was young I could not have anticipated how this would feel.  I thought having teenagers would be scary and hard.  But really, other than a few minor mishaps, it has been the best part of being a mom.  And I am so grateful for that.  I think I'm a better mom to older kids than I was to my little kids.  I think I have more patience for this type of mothering.  And I'm not even sure why I never had confidence in myself enough to see that clearly except almost in retrospect, but it's true.  I have been a big fat fail at many things some moms are fantastic at.  But the things that have really mattered to me - the things that in my opinion really count - those things I have been successful at accomplishing.  And although I don't really want to necessarily go into a lot of details about where I feel my success lies - I will say that raising children to like themselves and to be confident in who they are, was probably the most important thing to me.  It was the one thing that I was able to keep my eye on as a goal through out my role as a parent and it's still the driving force behind the majority of my decisions.  I've never regretted that and I think the fruit that it has bore is very very good fruit.  

Being a mom certainly means some sacrifice.  But it's also the one way that I have learned to become my best self.  I am so flawed in so many ways, but being a mom has kept me sane and on track in trying to be a better person today than I was yesterday.  I don't know who I would be without it.  Probably the best parenting advice anyone can ever hear is quit being too hard on yourself.  Just stop.  You're going to screw some stuff up.  You're going to say things you wish you wouldn't have and generally be inept beyond what you think is acceptable at times.  It's okay.  

Which is not to say you can't improve.  You can.  Here's what I think is probably one of the single most important thing you can do as a parent:  Ask yourself what is your goal?  What goal do you have for your children?  How and in what ways do you want to affect them?

Your goals and my goals might not be the same and that is totally OK.  But your goal should be something that is for them and not for you.  Nearly all parenting mistakes can be traced back to this very essential thing.  Certainly all permanent damage can be traced back to it.  If you're struggling with this - if parenting is something that meets some unmet need for you and you have a hard time thinking of your children as individuals who exist separately and who aren't here to meet any of your own needs - it's not too late to solve this problem.  

Maybe you are the mom of a teen and all my waxing poetic about parenting teens is not exactly ringing true.  I hear you.  I have not being totally conflict free in the teen zone.  And while I have avoided some of the messiest aspects of the teenage years thus far (knock on wood and all that...), I understand that some moms absolutely adore the baby and toddler and childhood stages and really aren't so much feeling this whole independent person-hood known as adolescence.  Here's what you need to remember - if you rocked as a mom of little people and struggle with the bigger people mode - you probably did so much good in your previous modes that this bumpy ride is a temporary thing.  Relax.  Chances are, everything is going to turn out just fine.  

And let me say one last thing I feel I would be remiss without mentioning.  If you're really struggling as a mom - or if your child is experiencing problems you think are a little scary or particularly challenging, please don't hesitate to get professional help either for yourself or for your child.  It is so gratifying to watch kids involved in a therapeutic process change and grow.  And as a parent, it can be incredibly empowering to deal with some of your own problems in ways that allow you to be your best self for your kids.

And to all moms - new and not so new, above all else remember to laugh, just love them for who they are, and give yourself a break from being too hard on yourself.  Do the best you can, and then take a deep breath and enjoy. 

  

Two Years Apart

I don't usually blog about my kids.  But today I was looking through some photos and struck by the number of times it has been captured on film this sibling thing that borders on love/hate.  Oh they love each other.  They also love to annoy each other.  Mostly they get along better than a parent could wish for.

Having two kids 2 and under is kind of tough on a mom - when they are little - but is sure if fun to watch them grow up together.

Gratitude - Days 16-18 - Dog Days & Lit Praise

I love my dogs.  Probably more than I ever thought I would.  I still miss our dog Tanner who died earlier this year.  Dogs all have their own very distinct personalities and an entire spirit they bring into your home.  Tanner was this very strong and cool dog.  He was beautiful and ever the alpha dog.  Our house isn't quite the same without him. 

Scout is this kind of quiet dog - she even seems a little melancholy at times.  At other times she's very buddha like.  She loves it when you pet her - like she could never possibly get enough of it, but she's also not going to beg you for it unless she thinks you're up to it.  She likes quiet and quiet rooms.  But she can be fierce if she wants to be. 

Skye is this ever cheerful crazy soul we brought into our house a little over a year ago.  That dog has an insane amount of energy and verve.  When you look at her face she is always happy happy happy.  She is difficult to discipline because she's so darned cute.  She's gets away with a lot of stuff she shouldn't and she knows it. 

I am so thankful for all the hours of comfort and company they provide me.  When my house is empty of people, I'm always glad they're around. 

that's Skye's paw on my shoulder

The last couple of days my younger two kids have been preparing for their upcoming speech & debate tournament.  I helped Jordan cut a piece of prose for her event and helped Brennan find some poetry to add to his.  As we were getting their stuff prepared I came across some old speech stuff of Holden's - a poetry he did a few years ago and a prose. 

Can I tell you how happy it makes me to see my kids do recitations of great prose and poetry for speech & debate? It makes me incredibly happy!  It is so fun to see them find a selection of poetry that really speaks to them, or to read a piece of prose and see where it 'click's and they really grasp the meaning. 

Jordan's piece is a british author and she is doing it with a british accent.  She does an amazing job - I know she'll do well as a freshman, but I look forward to watching her grow and learn as she advances over the next few years. 

So as I prepare to be a judge for speech & debate this weekend (I really enjoy that when I can volunteer) - I am very thankful for literature and poetry and all it brings into our lives!

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 1 - My Kids

As an experiment in gratitude, and relating to Thanksgiving, I am dedicating this month to a different thing each day that I am grateful for, and on that day I will try to work in some way to give a little extra appreciation for that thing. 

So this is Day 1, and I can't think of anything better to celebrate today than my kids.

I love this photo of my kids.  It's from a few years ago and it reminds me of a lot of things that I adore about them, and a lot of things that are important when you're a parent.  What I remember about that day is that I had limited time and was rushing to take some photos of them on a Saturday and I was trying to get photos to use for a Christmas card.  There was some complaining about the clothes I had picked out for them and there was also some difficulty in the photo shoot itself.  At various times one or the other of them were a little grumpy and wanted it to be over.  But in the midst of all of that - in the midst of some chaos and imperfection and irritation - they were funny, and fun and cute and a joy to be around.  I found myself laughing unexpectedly at moments like this where Brennan spontaneously decided to break out the "rock on" stance while his siblings looked on in slight confusion.  It's one of those moments when you realize as a parent "my life is perfect right now in this moment, even though it is NOT perfect."  We should all have more moments like that every day. 

I remember showing the photos to the kids' dad and he expressed some doubt about the quality of what I'd done.  I think in his mind, these did not look like Christmas photos, they weren't funny enough, nor were they serious enough, they looked - well, they looked like what they were - rushed and in the middle of a hectic day and everything was slightly fly by the seat of our pants.  There was no single photo where every kid looked perfect at the same time. 

But even then I sort of knew - it's not about that.  Life is never like that and kids are never like that.  I have always looked at these photos as a brief moment in time where everything actually was perfect because I saw it for what it was, and that was pretty great. 

Today sort of worked out that things fell in line and we had time for the kids and I to grab some food together at a restaurant and see a movie together.  It was another fly by the seat of our pants moment.  Sometimes you have to just take advantage of a moment like that when you can.  And it fit perfectly with my goal of being more grateful and celebrating my chosen gratitude of the day.

In the car driving home there was laughing, even some punching and some teasing in the back seat.  They aren't little kids anymore but that stuff never seems to really go away.  These days, if I have a moment with the 3 of them together, it's really precious to me because I don't think that these moments are going to last long. 

They are 3 amazing individuals and I feel extraordinarly grateful they are mine. 

They grow up so fast!

You hear that whole "they grow up so fast" thing all the time. And when your kids are little people say it to you all the time. Little old ladies come up to you to peek at your baby and then they leave with that parting advice "enjoy them, they grow up so fast", "enjoy them while they're small, they're gone before you know what happened". I remember being sort of annoyed when people would say this. Especially if I were in the grocery store with a 7 year old a VERY rambunctious 2 year old and an infant. I would kind of be thinking "lady...at this point I'll be GLAD if that's true, I think you've forgotten what it's like to have little kids!".

But actually now when I look at moms with little babies and toddlers I think the exact same thing. I just don't say it because I know it's super obnoxious. And I don't want to be that obnoxious old woman. But moms in their 20s and 30s with little kids have no idea how quickly they'll be a mom in the 40s with no little kids. Like it feels like it was 2 years ago when I had little kids. But that can't be true when my youngest is almost 14. But see you can really never explain this to anyone. You just can't. Because I swear when you have really tiny kids time just seems to meander and sometimes even dragggggg on and on (especially if you're up all night with a fussy baby). But then they start school and before you know it you're worrying about the SAT's and you can't figure out how high school seemed like I looong time when you were a teen, but suddenly, when it's your own child, it seems to go way too fast.

Am I a little melancholy about this? Well, I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I wouldn't trade where I'm at in my life now for a life filled with diaper changes and bottles. I really really would not. And I remember the first family vacation we took when no one was in diapers and there was no stroller involved. That's a good trip! And I have really enjoyed every single stage my kids have been in with a few tiny exceptions (Brennan at age 2, Holden at 13/14, Jordan has been perfect so far...). I really feel like I've made the most of every age they have been. And I hope I can keep figuring out a way to do that - even though they are all getting older, I really hope that I can still make the most of the new stages and ages they'll be. I don't want to be one of those people who always looks wistfully at the past as though they've left their best days behind. Those people are always kind of depressing. But you know, it's hard not to have the teeniest bit of angst when you realize your youngest child is about to start high school and so you only have about 4 more years with any kids in the house.

Anyway...I am taking the two younger kids on a vacation this week and I'm looking forward to spending some time away with them. I am so blessed to really enjoy my kids. They are funny and fun and I really do like being around them.

When my kids were tiny I was pretty limited in what I could do to decorate their rooms. I did a few things, but my budget didn't really allow for anything extravagant or expensive or extensive in scope. I wish I could have had the money back then to do some of the cool things I've seen lately in regards to kids rooms. So many fun ideas out there now.

So as I leave my computer behind for about a week, I leave you with some of my favorite images of kid's and babies rooms. And I leave you with some advice:

Enjoy your kids, whatever stage of life you are in. Tiny or grown ups or in between, they'll always be your babies.

I love all these images I have found lately which creatively explore how to handle a bedroom made for 3 or more children.

Love the gray with the pops of color

That's like a homemade mobile. A great idea. I saw another one this week where they cut out cute paper and did something similar.

genius genius genius idea for cheap and creative minimalist artwork!

I just super much love turquoise with red

I'm not really fooling myself here, I know this is a pricey room. But the color scheme is a good one to steal.

Love the turqoisey blue with the bold yellow.

This is that tricky redish pinkish hue. Some people are calling it guava. Or honeysuckle. But this is a little more red than that. I dig it. Great idea blowing up the photos too.

another genius solution

I just love the colors.

Love the stripes

Same idea as above, except hands instead of feet. I can't get over how easy and cute these are.

That head board is KILLER cool!

I don't usually go in for such soft colors, but I love this nursery.

Finally Finished - Latest Project!

I really wanted to finish this way before now but it just wasn't happening. Remember when I first announced this project and I had some ideas, well you can go click on that link to read about it, or maybe this photo will remind you of the horrible blue I was dealing with before:

Anyway, I had to re-think several of my ideas and my dad solved one problem for me (the closet was full of storage and the closet never worked very well for clothes, my dad basically re-built it while he was in town and that totally solved my problem there, then I culled down the storage and moved some of it to the smaller bedroom, which will become Holden's when he gets home...that will be one of my next projects)

So here are the after photos, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out considering I had to work with the blue carpet. I decided not to go as dark with the paint as I had been planning and went gray instead of black or charcoal. I think it was best. The photos were taken in the afternoon when there is a lot of light in that room, on a not so great camera, so there are a lot of sun spots on the shots.

I knew with the gray walls and the blue carpet I had to figure out some way to pull it all together, and Brennan was pretty set on this bed. It's a low (platform style) bed like I had planned on but the headboard was different than I expected. Later, I realized it matched the wood in the dresser anyway, so I incorporated a few beige items into the decor and trim. Then I added the green and still hinted at the blue. I like the way it turned out.

I think the gray we chose ended up working with both the carpet, and the blue lights and fan, which I also didn't want to have to deal with replacing.

See how my dad totally made this a useable closet again? Thanks dad. There are no closet doors so I hung black curtains that can be pulled closed.

Then I added some original art work that we put together - I might add a little more later, but for now I think we're finished.

I also had to decide if I wanted to keep the stencil behind the door Holden had done a long time ago. He took a photo of a little girl at the beach in california years ago, then he blew it up into a stencil and had stencil'd it on the backside of the bedroom door. So it's a completely original Holden Hays artwork. In the end, I didn't have the heart to paint over it, so I painted around it and left the hot pink. Brennan wanted to british flag hung (it cracked me up when I was hanging it...it says "made in the USA" on the back of it. So apparently, we don't make many things here in the US, but we make british flags...

I'm so glad to be done! On to the next project.