Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Adopted! Bizzy Lizzy
Originally uploaded by Purrs & Paws of A.R.A.S..

If you go on flickr and you type in a search for the word "adopted" about a thousand pictures of cats and dogs come up first, then later there are some other assorted odd animals, a goat, a couple of ducks and much later you get people adopting roads. One was a little girl "adopting" a doll.

No children.

Because really, we don't want to so much talk about this.

Adopting children.

But it's an awful lot like adopting cats and dogs. There are extra cats and dogs in the world - too many of them for people to take care of. And we spend a significant amount of energy and money taking these creatures into our homes and providing them with food and care and shelter and hopefully love. Because all creatures really need love.

And adopting babies is the same. There are often extras. Ones who will not be taken care of if not taken in. And kind souls take these extras in and provide them with food and clothes and shelter and hopefully love. They are a longer time committment, but it's similar.

And really, when you go off to adopt a cat or a dog - I mean you might have a preference - well we want a quiet dog - we don't want a yappy dog that barks all the time. Maybe you want a small energetic dog. Or just a really pretty and very friendly cat. I mean, you have some idea of what you are looking for. And if you go through most normal channels for adoption you are given a chance to interact with the animal - get an idea if this is what you are looking for. You see it, you get a chance to decide. But mostly this is all speculation because if you are adopting a puppy or a kitten, you can only guess what this animal is really going to turn out like - it might not even stay the same colors. You can't really tell if it's smart or not - not REALLY. You just try to get a general idea and you take a chance.

And babies are exactly the same. In fact the way the process usually works is that the birth mother decides who is going to adopt her baby. But this involves a lot of guess work on her part too. And back in the 1950-1970s this didn't really even enter into the equation. Some random go between person made these decisions. These look like nice people - they want a baby - this girl is probably going to have a pretty baby. Let's hook this situation up. Win, win.

But it's the same. It's unpredictable. You don't know what you're getting. You just know you want a baby. And that baby is just going to turn out however it is going to turn out. I mean you can put all the nurture into the situation that you want. But there's still this 50% nature part of the equation that you really can't control.

And the baby? What about the baby? Well, no one really thinks about that. But they THINK it's all about the baby. It's all about making sure the baby is okay.

But it's not really okay. It's not ever really okay. It never really will be. But just like adopted animals - they adjust, they adapt, they learn to do whatever it is they have to do to get the love that the need. The food and shelter are important and everything...but the LOVE? That's the thing that they wlll learn to do tricks for.

We adjust.

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