Sunday, August 16, 2009

House Tour - Beverly Modern Manor

Okay - so I have a couple of opportunities to MAYBE have our house featured on the internet in an online home tour. I need some help though - please look through the following photographs and tell me which 5 you personally find the MOST appealing - the 5 that would make you think "gee, I'd like to visit that house". It will help me a lot to get other perspectives. You should choose the best 5 regardless of which rooms they come from, in other words, you do not have to pick one from each room.

Leave your picks in a comment, Thanks!

1. Living Room, Number 1

Living Room, Number 2


Living Room, Number 3


Living Room, Number 4

Living Room, Number 5

Living Room, Number 6

Kitchen, Number 1
Kitchen, Number 2


Kitchen, number 3

Kitchen, Number 4

Kitchen, Number 5

Kitchen/Desk

Family Room, number 1

Family Room, Number 2


Family Room, Number 3
Family Room, Number 4


Family Room, Number 5

Family Room, Number 5

Bedroom, Number 1

Bedroom, Number 2

Bedroom, Number 3
Master Bath, Number 1


Master Bath, Number 2

Master Bath, Number 3

Master Bath, Number 4

Master Bath, Number 5

Outdoor Space, Number 1

Outdoor Space, Number 2

Outdoor Space, Number 3

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Cake or Death...

Things are busy around here right now - but here is a blog about something our family did a few weeks ago - once we get Holden settled at the MTC I'll try to catch up other recent adventures.

Living with Kirk is always an interesting adventure. Even though we had a very busy week filled with many things he decided it would be a cool idea to have a 1st annual cake bake off a la "ace of cakes". We're calling it the "Hays Cake or Death Bake Off".

Some of us took the challenge very seriously. Holden and Noelle literally spent most of the week perfecting their home-made cake recipe and fondant. They did an elaborate cake that took all day. Jordan and Kirk also spent the majority of the day on their cake(s) [yes, cakes plural, because Kirk & Jordan are the over-achievers in the family]

Brennan and I had excuses for why we did not spend the entire day on our cake. Brennan was at a junior lifeguard olympics all morning and I had a splitting headache. Brennan earned many, many medals at his olympics.

Noelle's parents were coming over for a bar-b-que dinner and they did the judging.

Holden and Noelle did a "Dia De Los Muertos" cake. In case you are unfamiliar - that means "Day of the Dead" in Spanish. Day of the Dead is a celebration of Mexico - it is kind of like a mix between memorial day and Halloween. Anyway, their cake was a very cool skull. They had to sculpt each layer and then lay the fondant on top, after which they painted on the decor with a paint brush. Then they added LED lights in the eyes. What an awesome cake! It was also homemade red velvet cake too.



Kirk & Jordan did two cakes based on famous paintings. One was Van Gogh's Sunflowers and the other was a Picasso. They were super cool! The cakes themselves were not homemade like Holden's and Noelle's but Noelle's mother Angel happens to love lemon cake and that is what one of their cakes was - which just put them over the top for the win.



Brennan and i finished 3rd with our chocolate mountain range. We did not deserve any higher than 3rd because ours took FAR LESS time than everyone else's. BUT I have to say, our cake was the only one that was completely eaten before having to throw them out - which I attribute to my home-made chocolate frosting, which is pretty darn good.
I'm pretty sure we're going to make it annual event!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Blast from the Past


Yesterday Melanie Hale and Rachel Tanner came over to help clean out a rather dirty and neglected closet. It's a weird closet that actually hides behind a large hutch. I keep my food storage in there and occasionally, other things that I don't know what to do with find themselves residing there.

Melanie and Rachel did a great job. I bid on their services as part of their fund Raising for camp and both their moms can be proud that they did an excellent job considering they weren't actually getting paid. One of the things they un-earthed was an old poster Holden made for me when he was in kindergarten. I had wondered what happened to it - for a while I had it framed and hanging in my house I loved it so much.

I scanned in the artwork and here is the poem that accompanied it (this was a mother's day gift):

I've got a good mom. She has short brown hair.
She has greenish eyes just like mine. She is so beautiful. She has a pretty smile.

My mom likes to wear black shoes that slip on.
She likes to wear make-up. She wears pretty dresses that have flowers on them.
She wears necklaces and earrings. Some are big, but some are little.
She looks good all the time.

At home, my mom has to do all the jobs.
She has to make our baby happy. She plays with me, too.
She reads me books at night and again in the morning.
She has to clean up a lot of toys. She washes clothes.
She goes to the grocery store. She has to go to the bank.

To help my mom I watch the baby when my mom takes out the garbage.
I clean up what my mommy tells me to. I sweep outside.

My mom is a very good cook. She makes Sloppy Joes.
She makes burritos and chilli. She makes strawberry shortcake.
She makes really good oranges in a roll.

For fun, my mo likes to go to ABCO. Sometimes she even goes to Bashas.
She loves Target and Toys R Us.
She likes to go to church and to the camp at our church.
She likes to go to the library.
She goes to the electric company to buy electricity.
she goes to the park with me.

To relax, she likes to go to movies with my daddy. They are not kid movies.
She likes to make things for the church.
She likes to lay on her bed while I watch TV. She likes to watch Oprah.
She likes to talk on the phone for a long, long time.
Sometimes she likes to talk to my daddy. They talk a lot.

I really think that I have the goodest mom.
She makes me happy because she is so wonderful.
She loves me so much. I like that she's really nice.
I like it hat she loves me too. She reads me stories. She tucks me in and kisses me.
She calls me her honey. She teases me a lot.
She even calls me super hero names like "Earthworm Jim." She's a funny mom.

I am so happy to have a mom like her.
I love her all the way to infinity. That means I'm going to love her forever.

Holden, 1996


What a great thing to find in the forgotten recesses of the closet! I'm going to so miss this kid when he leaves in a little over a week.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Thoughts from All Over...

I can't put together a cogent thought to write any one coherent blog but there are lot of random things things floating in my brain:

I love, love, love the website Apartment Therapy. If you've never checked it out maybe you should.

Mean people sometimes comment on my blogs. Usually I don't erase the comments but sometimes I do. It's weird. Sometimes it makes me question even having a blog at all. Actually I question having a blog A LOT.

There are a lot of things I never talk about here, that I probably would talk about it the blog were private. So lately I've thought about making it private again or having it open to friends only. We'll see.

I am sucker for a really well thought out store display or a store with lots of cute stuff. I don't need any of that stuff, but when I'm surrounded by it, it is hard to resist. I walked into Paper Joy today and almost walked out with a bunch of paper I didn't need and some ribbon too. I stopped myself just in time.

I am not joking around when I say that I could live at La Grande Orange. - that's another place I'm a huge sucker for. When I'm in there getting a tuna fish sandwich to go suddenly I think I need a new soy candle, or a zip up lap top case that's a uber cool print, ohhhh these notebooks look super nifty...it's ridiculous. I'm massively influenced by the general coolness of the place itself - the open kitchen, the blackboards, the yummy food, the smell of the coffee bar, the music (which at any given moment might turn on a dime from Diana Krall to New Pornographers without warning, lighting momentarily on a Doors song) all the little baskets filled with fresh granola and specialty cheeses, aromatic breads and the fresh squeezed juice. It's like someone figured out how to shove all the things I love into one space at the same time. I never really want to leave.

When my husband is out of town I cannot go to bed before 1 am. What is up with that? I'm not nervous to be home alone at all either. It's just a weird thing I have. I have a hard time sleeping without him around.

These days, I'm pretty content with my house. Unless I start to think about all the things I'd still like to do to it, which include:

New metal door on the laundry room
New metal door on weird closet I hide behind the red hutch
Turn studio into a walk in closet
turn Holden's room into a studio
completely re-do kids bathroom - new floor, fixtures, etc.
Re-carpet back rooms
Re-carpet Jordan's room
Re-do all other flooring in main part of the house - probably in real wood
buy new office chair (one that looks cool)

Maybe sort of like this:




I'm going to miss Holden like crazy. He makes us all laugh so much. He's this ball of creative and hysterically witty energy - it will leave such a huge void in our life to have him gone.

On the other hand. I'm so EXCITED for him. He's sooooo ready to go.

It's very conflicting.

I am not a worrier by nature at all.

Sometimes I worry about that. Sometimes I worry that my life is too perfect. I feel guilty about that (I feel guilty about my good fortune, not the worrying). Is that weird? Do other people do that?

There's this one lady who is one of many people who write on a mormon blog who I really like to read. I don't know, she's just very interesting. Her name is annegb (well on the blog anyway) She just amuses me.

I have a hard time getting things done when my kids are around. It's weird, but I cannot concentrate on bill paying or phone calling. Even if they aren't really bugging me. I hate making phone calls. I have to be in the exact right frame of mind for that sort of thing.

I've often felt if there is any failure in my mothering it is in that area - where there is some part of me that just really likes to be solitary more often than most people. Being a mom and craving solitary time do not really go together. I think this is part of the reason women with large families both fascinate and horrify me.

When I was young I thought I wanted to have 10 kids because I did not realize how much I valued being alone. It has kind of come as something of a shock to me.

A lot of the people I went to high school with are on Facebook. It's weird to be updated every day on their comings and goings. It's kind of cool sometimes too. Some of them have turned into very cool and inspiring people. Some of them have turned into nut jobs.

I'm making chicken enchiladas tonight -

I just thought you might want to know that.

ooops, I messed up some of the links...they are updated and fixed now...at least I think so...

Monday, July 13, 2009

Mike


The other day I was driving home from somewhere when I heard Michael Jackson had died. In a weird way I was sort of surprised by my reaction. First of all I found that I was not all that shocked by it. Second, I sort of didn't feel like I cared very much. I came home and flipped on the TV and everyone seemed to be sort of caught up in this thing that had just happened and I started changing the channel to find something else to watch because...well, I just didn't find the fact that he had died all that compelling and frankly I couldn't work myself up to care about it all that much.

And over the past few days/week or so... (how long has it been since he died? see I don't even know) - I just haven't really thought about it all that much. It's been on the news, he's on the cover of practically every magazine. You'd have to be living in a cave to not know that it's been widely reported that he was likely on heavy doses of prescription medication which, in all likelihood contributed and/or caused his death. I've seen several version of a chart that shows the changes of his face over the years. I didn't watch the memorial or pay all that much attention to any of the details. I saw some photos of his children and remarked that they are very pretty kids. It was sort of heartbreaking to see that youngest one (Blanket...seriously, I will never get over that name...I've come to accept weird celebrity children names like "Apple" and "Inspector" and even "Kal-el" but I will never get used to "Blanket" as a name...I think Michael made that up when he was being interviewed on that one documentary because he didn't want to give out the real name...I still refuse to believe that is the kids name) holding a doll of his father during the memorial. How seriously sad is that? And I thought his little girl talking about her father was also heart wrenching. But otherwise, my emotions have just been...well, nonexistent really.

Some background. I grew up never remembering a time when "The Jacksons" didn't exist. They were on lunch pails and Saturday Morning Cartoons when I was kid. They were all over the place. And Michael, was a cute as a bugs ear. By the time I hit Jr. High I had a crush on him. One of my first 8 tracks was "Off the Wall" which I listened to over and over again. I even had a Michael Jackson poster on the back of my bedroom door. By the time High School came around (Junior Year to be exact) Billie Jean was all the rage and Michael was about to astound us all with his moonwalk. Honestly, there wasn't much cooler than Michael Jackson long about 1984. Around this time Michael also seemed to be getting a little bit paler and his nose seemed to be getting a little bit more narrow. I remember him saying in an interview that he was just losing all his "baby fat" and I sort of bought into that version of reality for a while. I loved Thriller but his narrower nose and lighter skin were even more apparent by then.

It wasn't long before he was "Bad" and a "Smooth Criminal" and I sort of started to loose interest. Bubbles the Chimp? And why did his nose keep disappearing? I liked the old black Michael better and I wasn't too sure about this new white one. Then Neverland Ranch got all weird. And then the accusations started. He just seemed to get more bizarre by the year. Every once in a while he would intrigue me again. I really liked the "Scream" video he did with Janet. I thought "Remember the Time" was a catchy song. And the music video he did with Naomi Campbell for the song "In the Closet" was gorgeous. Every once in a while I would catch some footage of him dancing and realize, he was still amazingly talented. But his talent seemed to be eclipsed by his strangeness. Lisa Marie? Kids with Debbie Rowe? The Martin Bashir documentary? Hello? The man seemed to lose all sense of reality.

So when I saw some old footage of him from the Off the Wall era the other day I remembered why I had liked him so much in the first place. He had so much energy and vibrancy and everything he did seemed cool. He was talented. Really, really talented.


So today, I bought a few songs on itunes that I remembered fondly. And sometime in there, while listening to all these songs that made me feel happy back in 1979, I shed one single solitary tear for Michael. Which suprised me, because up until that moment, I just had not felt anything about him dying. But I realized that I was sad for that Michael. For lost potential. For all the things that can go wrong in a persons life. For all the little things that add up to big things.

I don't pretend to know what all went wrong in Michaels life and how much of it was self-created problems and how much of it might have been mental illness, or drug addiction or a multitude of other things. All I am saying is that it's complicated isn't it?

Did he molest all those young boys? I have no idea. It didn't look too good did it? Either way it's tragic. It's tragic if he did and it's tragic if he didn't.

In our celebrity obsessed culture we seem to have an appetite for chewing people up and spitting them out. So many talented people seem to be ruined by their own success don't they?

What am I even saying? I don't know. I guess what I'm saying is that I'll always really like the late 70s early 80s version of Michael. Listening to PYT will probably always put me in a good mood. And it will be a long, long time before someone with as much raw talent as Michael will come along again.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Color Decisions I'm Happy With!

I'm happy with how all the bold colors turned out, here's a slideshow of a pretty much completed back yard.


Monday, July 06, 2009

Peace in a World of Conflict

This morning I've perused a long list of political articles, and read a few left leaning and right leaning blogs. Wow, we are really conflicted in this country!

Last week I ran into someone at a store who I know is rabidly right leaning. Perhaps rabid is a harsh term. But it's fairly accurate. Everything this person believes from a political stand point is in direct opposition to everything I believe politically. But this person and I happen to belong to the same church. Which makes all the difference.

I realized as I stood talking to this person that I have nothing but deep down in my heart good feelings towards them. I thought about that later in the evening and I felt especially peaceful about it. How nice is it that the gospel gives us that power to feel at peace.

I'm not saying I'm able to have that feeling about EVERYONE at church all the time. There are a few people I have a hard time with. But it has nothing to do with their politics. If I think someone is inherently mean spirited, I have a hard time feeling charitable towards them. But I try. I try to figure out what makes a person the way that they are and to evolve myself to better feelings about them. But I digress...

My point is that we can disagree with our fellow church goers on points of politics while maintaining good feelings. Here's an excellent talk from a recent Ensign article I thought was especially apt, enjoy:

I have a friend who is a member of a political panel that is seen each week on national television. Explaining her role, she said, “We are encouraged to speak before thinking!” We appear to be living in an era in which many are speaking without thinking, encouraging emotional reactions rather than thoughtful responses. Whether it be on the national or international stage, in personal relations or in politics, at home or in the public forum, voices grow ever more strident, and giving and taking offense appear to be chosen rather than inadvertent.

The Lord has warned that from the beginning and throughout history, Satan would stir up people’s hearts to anger. 1 In the Book of Mormon, Laman set a pattern of so murmuring as to stir anger, to stoke rage, and to incite murder. 2 Time and again in the Book of Mormon, we find deluded and wicked men inciting rage and provoking conflict. In the days of Captain Moroni, the apostate Amalickiah inspired “the hearts of the Lamanites against the people of Nephi.” 3 Amulon and the wicked priests of Noah; Nehor; Korihor; and Zoram the apostate (the dishonor roll goes on throughout the Book of Mormon) were agitators who inspired distrust, fueled controversy, and deepened hatreds.

In speaking to Enoch, the Lord indicated that both the time of His birth and the time preceding His Second Coming would be “days of wickedness and vengeance.” 4 And the Lord has said that in the last days, wrath shall be poured out upon the earth without mixture. 5Wrath is defined both as the righteous indignation of God and as the very human instances of impetuous ardor and deep or violent anger. The former arises from the concern of a loving Father whose children are often “without affection, and they hate their own blood,” 6 whereas the latter wrath arises from a people “without order and without mercy, … strong in their perversion.” 7 I fear the earth is experiencing both wraths, and I suspect the divine wrath is very much provoked by those who are stirring up the hearts of men to wickedness, slander, and violent hatreds.

The first casualties of human wrath are truth and understanding. James counseled that we be “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” 8 As Enoch observed, God’s throne is one of peace, justice, and truth. 9 Whether they be false friends or unrighteous teachers, artists or entertainers, commentators or letter writers to local newspapers, seekers of power or wealth, beware of those who stir us up to such anger that calm reflection and charitable feelings are suppressed.

Alma at the waters of Mormon invited those who would enter into a covenant relationship with God to stand as witnesses of God and to bear one another’s burdens. 10 As those who have indeed entered into a sacred covenant, we must remain true to the way, the truth, and the life, who is Jesus Christ.

Have we who have taken upon us the name of Christ slipped unknowingly into patterns of slander, evil speaking, and bitter stereotyping? Have personal or partisan or business or religious differences been translated into a kind of demonizing of those of different views? Do we pause to understand the seemingly different positions of others and seek, where possible, common ground?

I recall that as a graduate student I wrote a critique of an important political philosopher. It was clear that I disagreed with him. My professor told me that my paper was good, but not good enough. Before you launch into your criticism, she said, you must first present the strongest case for the position you are opposing, one that the philosopher himself could accept. I redid the paper. I still had important differences with the philosopher, but I understood him better, and I saw the strengths and virtues, as well as limitations, of his belief. I learned a lesson that I’ve applied across the spectrum of my life.

General Andrew Jackson, as he walked along the line at the Battle of New Orleans, said to his men, “Gentlemen, elevate your guns a little lower!” I think many of us need to elevate our “guns” a little lower. On the other hand, we need to raise the level of private and public discourse. We should avoid caricaturing the positions of others, constructing “straw men,” if you will, and casting unwarranted aspersions on their motivations and character. We need, as the Lord counseled, to uphold honest, wise, and good men and women wherever they are found and to recognize that there are “among all sects, parties, and denominations” those who are “kept from the truth [of the gospel] because they know not where to find it.” 11 Would we hide that light because we have entered into the culture of slander, of stereotyping, of giving and seeking offense?

It is far too easy sometimes to fall into a spirit of mockery and cynicism in dealing with those of contrary views. We demoralize or demean so as to bring others or their ideas in contempt. It is a primary tool of those who occupy the large and spacious building that Father Lehi saw in vision. 12 Jude, the brother of Christ, warned that “there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts. These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.” 13

Closely related to mockery is a spirit of cynicism. Cynics are disposed to find and to catch at fault. Implicitly or explicitly, they display a sneering disbelief in sincerity and rectitude. Isaiah spoke of those who “watch for iniquity” and “make a man an offender for a word, and lay a snare for him that reproveth in the gate, and turn aside the just for a thing of nought.” 14 In this regard, the Lord has counseled in latter days that we “cease to find fault one with another” and “above all things, clothe [ourselves] with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace.” 15

President George Albert Smith observed, “There is nothing in the world more deleterious or harmful to the human family than hatred, prejudice, suspicion, and the attitude that some people have toward their fellows, of unkindness.” 16 In matters of politics, he warned, “Whenever your politics cause you to speak unkindly of your brethren, know this, that you are upon dangerous ground.” 17 Speaking of the great mission of the latter-day kingdom, he counseled: “This is not a militant church to which we belong. This is a church that holds out peace to the world. It is not our duty to go into the world and find fault with others, neither to criticize men because they do not understand. But it is our privilege, in kindness and love, to go among them and divide with them the truth that the Lord has revealed in this latter day.” 18

The Lord has constituted us as a people for a special mission. As He told Enoch in ancient times, the day in which we live would be one of darkness, but it would also be a time when righteousness would come down from heaven, and truth would be sent forth out of the earth to bear, once more, testimony of Christ and His atoning mission. As with a flood, that message would sweep the world, and the Lord’s elect would be gathered out from the four quarters of the earth. 19 Wherever we live in the world, we have been molded as a people to be the instruments of the Lord’s peace. In the words of Peter, we have been claimed by God for His own, to proclaim the triumph of Him “who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light: Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God.” 20 We cannot afford to be caught up in a world prone to give and to take offense. Rather, as the Lord revealed to both Paul and Mormon, we must neither envy nor be puffed up in pride. We are not easily provoked, nor do we behave unseemly. We rejoice not in iniquity but in the truth. Surely this is the pure love of Christ which we represent. 21

In a world beset by wrath, the prophet of our day, President Gordon B. Hinckley, has counseled: “Now, there is much that we can and must do in these perilous times. We can give our opinions on the merit of the situation as we see it, but never let us become a party to words or works of evil concerning our brothers and sisters in various nations on one side or the other. Political differences never justify hatred or ill will. I hope that the Lord’s people may be at peace one with another during times of trouble, regardless of what loyalties they may have to different governments or parties.” 22

As true witnesses of Christ in the latter days, let us not fall into the darkness so that, in the words of Peter, we “cannot see afar off,” but let us be fruitful in the testimony of Christ and His restored gospel, in thought, in speech, in deed. 23 God lives. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life. Joseph Smith, the great prophet of the Restoration, was the instrument by which we have been constituted as a people, led even today by a prophet of God, President Gordon B. Hinckley. Let us daily renew in our hearts the pure love of Christ and overcome with our Master the darkness of the world.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Crazy 8's

My friend Suzanne Barker tagged me to play Crazy Eights. So here are the rules:

1. Mention the person who tagged you. (See above)
2. Complete the list of 8's.
3. Tag 8 other bloggers.
4. Tell them they have been tagged.

Eight Things I look Forward to:

1. Going to Disneyland with the whole family next month.
2. Getting started on some new classes for my degree soon.
3. Figuring out where the next big vacation will be: maybe a cruise, maybe something tropical, maybe the Greek Islands.
4. Going to New England with Kirk to visit my sister in law sometime in the next year.
5. Getting the back yard project TOTALLY finished.
6. Being able to eat a few carbs again.
7. Buying a new car in the next year sometime (I think...but my car just keeps on going and going and I keep on putting it off).
8. Honestly it's sort of hard to limit this to eight - I look forward to stuff all the time; the next bubble bath, a visit to a gallery or art museum, a new movie to see, eating out somewhere new, going to my kids swim and dive meets...I'm easily amused.

Eight Things I did yesterday:

1. Dropped Jordan off at the Stake Center to go to girl's camp.
2. Shopped for dinner at AJ's (I should never go there...I always want to buy everything in all the fancy little packages).
3. Got lunch at Quizno's with Holden (they have a black & blue salad that works well on the diet).
4. Took some time to read a book (which I never do during the day usually).
5. Was weirded out by how much time I had on my hands since both Brennan and Jordan were out of town - realized that I will HAVE to work when they are gone for good because I will lose my mind - who knew they took up so much of my daily time?
6. Cleaned the house for a dinner party.
7. Had some friends over for dinner.
8. Did some laundry.

Eight Things I Wish I could do:

1. Be done with school already!
2. Travel whenever I feel like it.
3. Go to Paris.
4. Go back to Scotland again.
5. Eat anything I feel like and not gain weight.
6. Be a professional dancer.
7. Have a positive attitude all the time no matter what.
8. Do I have to limit it to eight? The places I want to visit alone would take all day! Small sample: England (again), Greece, Italy, Switzerland, Germany, Africa, Israel, Caribbean, New York, visit all the major art museums in the world, etc., etc., etc.

Eight Shows I watch:

1. Project Runway
2. Dexter
3. United States of Tara
4. The Office
5. 30 Rock
6. Flipping Out
7. Medium
8. The City

Eight Friends I am Tagging:

1. Shando Rando
2. Cindi Tanner
3. Geri Chase
4. Lindsey Williams
5. I have very few "internet/blog friends"
6. so anyone else who
7. cares to play is
8. welcome (Suzanne tagged most of my other friends!)

Vacation Disasters?


Cindy (AKA Cynthia) tagged me to do a post of vacation disasters. I am honestly having a hard time thinking of one - we usually (knock on wood) have really great vacations that go very smoothly. Which is possibly why I like vacations so much.

The only thing that comes to mind is more in the realm of financial stress which occurred while on vacation. The vacation was still really fun and I have fond memories of it - but it was very stressful while it was happening.

We were vacationing up the coast of California - up highway 1. I LOVE that vacation. We started out at Universal Studios in LA and then drove up to Ventura, stayed at the beach, went to Hearst Castle, stayed in Morro Bay, went to Carmel and Big Sur, and then on to San Francisco and stayed in this really awesome hotel in Knob Hill - we did all the usual San Francisco stuff and stayed there for several days and threw in one day up to Tracy California to visit Kirk's sister and then drove back down the coast again, stopping at Monterey and Morro Bay again on our way home. It was lovely.

However. Right before we left I made sure we had enough money in the account to pay for the trip. I knew it would be kind of expensive but I had it planned out pretty well. I had bought the tickets to Universal Studios online through what I thought was the usual Universal Studio ticket system (I'm still unclear about whether it was or not) - my tickets were slightly cheaper that way and had come by Fed Ex before we left. Included in the deal was our hotel room in Studio City. The day before we left I checked my bank account and ALL of my money was gone. It took a while to figure out but when I bought my tickets they stole my credit card number (which was really my debit card) and someone in Coral Gables Florida (where the tickets came from) was using it to withdraw money from my account. I am still not even sure how they did this. They looked like withdrawal transactions you would have to have the pin number to use - but somehow, they were able to do it through some kind of dishonest banking situation there. Eventually it turned out to be a little group of 3 people who were involved in doing this to multiple people. The bank would return my money but not immediately - in the meantime, I was ready to head out like the next day.

Luckily, my friend was able to loan us the money for a couple of days until the bank could put the money back. So disaster averted.

Or so I thought.

In the middle of the trip I went to withdraw some cash and once again, there is almost no money in the account - I freaked out. So I called the bank to try to figure out what was going on. Apparently, when I agreed to make a payment on my state of Arizona tax bill the lady I set up the payment with at the state entered it as paying the full amount instead of the 3 separate payments - I had authorized them to withdraw the money, but not that amount and all at once. So I am in the middle of San Francisco, about to catch a boat to Alcatraz, with next to no money in the bank. We don't really believe in using credit cards so while most people would probably just pull out their credit card and start charging, that's not really an option.

So I call my friend in a panic. She has already loaned me all the money she has to get me on the trip in the first place so I know she doesn't have any more money now. But somehow it all got worked out - another friend happened to be holding on to some money that she didn't need to be paid back for a month and I could borrow it from her. They put the money in my bank account almost immediately and my family never really knew disaster was averted.

It was very stressful there for an hour or so!

But I still fondly remember the vacation even though there was financial stress involved. Luckily it all worked out with the bank returning my money and I was able to pay the other friend back as soon as we got home. In situations like that you feel 1) really thankful for great friends and 2) thankful that Heavenly Father looks out for us! Anyway that's how I felt. There was a lot of stress in our life at that time and we really needed the vacation and even though it seemed like everything conspired against us to keep us from being able to go - somehow it all got worked out!

Okay I tag Shando and anyone else who wants to play along!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Don't Be Shy...

Next week I'll take some time to document some of my new back yard including some of the final color choices I made (all of which I am super happy with!) -

In the meantime I offer some of my online finds for rooms I love filled with color. I love color. Don't shy away from color kiddo's - it will make your life more interesting and possibly even improve your mood!

Are these not the best? Someday I am going to have a hot pink room. I haven't quite figured out what room or when that's going to happen - but someday, I'm doing it.
















Thursday, June 04, 2009

Things to Love about Phoenix

There are a lot of things I love about Phoenix...

This time of year, everyone starts to complain about the heat, but I think the city is still so vibrant and alive, even in the summer when it's too hot to expend too much energy. Bright colors are reflected everywhere by that ever present sun. I love spending time by the swimming pool and enjoy even the heat until about August when I get ready for it to cool down...

Kirk and I went on a photo safari last Sunday evening and got some good shots. Just thought I would share some of the things I love about this town.


Friday, May 22, 2009

Not To Pile On But...I Totally Called It








Several months ago I had a vaguely weird dream which woke me up. When I woke up my first thought (though I did not remember the dream very clearly) was "Kate Gosselin has sold her soul to the devil". I said this aloud while lying there in bed. Kirk looked at me very strangely.

I explained to him that from a psychological stand-point, I really felt there were bad things in store for the children and for the Gosselins.

Let me clarify for those of you who somehow missed the phenomenon of Jon & Kate plus 8. The show chronicles the lives of parents of multiples - one set of twins and one set of sextuplets. I never really watched the show much. At first Kirk watched it once in a while. I think he found it soothing to watch someone dealing with the chaos of multiples - it made our life seem calm and sedate by contrast. Eventually I caught a few episodes here and there (it's on TLC almost all day sometimes). My daughter thought it was fun to watch. My best friend Shannon somehow developed a crush on Jon (not exactly sure what that's all about!). So I became gradually aware of the show. But usually I found Kate slightly annoying. She harps on Jon too much and she's too controlling with the kids. Control-freakishness is difficult for me to watch, it makes my skin crawl a little - so usually, I could never watch a whole episode.

But the kids are cute and how can you not wish this seemingly somewhat normal if noisy household the best? How can you not admire them for giving it a valiant go? So, if not a total fan of Kate, I still felt that I could understand the appeal of the show and certainly, I could understand the appeal of the cute factor of the children. Plus if you're a mom struggling with potty training one kid, I would imagine watching an episode of Kate trying to train 6 of them at the same time would be hugely reassuring.

But then...gradually, things about the show started to bug me.

Why are they ALWAYS going on vacation? When did Jon quit working and what does he do exactly? Why are Kate's parents completely out of the picture? Why does Kate have friends and people who seem to help with the kids and then suddenly, it seems they are written out of the show? What happened to that pretty Aunt Jody who used to be around and suddenly isn't? Why is Kate being psychotic about insisting that they ALL go to the furniture store to pick out furniture with the kids in tow? I only had two toddlers at once and even I know that's a terrible idea. Who is paying for all this product placement? Wow! They are getting a lot of free crap. Kate's fronting like she's worried about money, worried about how much she is spending on the bunk beds but she's making like $75,000 per episode! Come on! Suddenly they are moving into a giant compound like mansion on a bajillion acres and I'm suppose to still feel sorry for the struggle of a mom with multiples with a husband with a low paying tech job? The whole premise of the whole show is blown by the success of the show. Man these kids are whiny, whiny, whiny. Kate is getting shrill and awful. Kate is getting very tan. Kate is getting thinner. Jon now has hair plugs. Kate's clothing is getting expensive. and handbags. When they filmed a renewal of wedding vows ceremony in Hawaii last year I thought it seemed like the most joyless exercise in futility I've ever seen. That's when I knew it was effectively over for Jon & Kate.

You can't allow your personal life to become your job and not have it affect your personal life. Especially for the kids.

Remember back when the Dionne Quintuplets were born and the Canadian government practically set them up as a roadside attraction and then later we all thought that was horrible? The girls did not turn out well. What's different about this?

And consider:

Kate and Jon had only been married a little over a year when she decided to try fertility drugs to get pregnant with the twins. Then not long after that they tried it again when they got the sextuplets. Who does that? Who jumps right into fertility drugs so early? I think it's weirdly suspect. We've all thought octo-mom has lost her mind but is Kate really that different? And where do you suppose octo-mom got the idea in the first place?

Now it's all gone to hell in a handbasket. Kate and Jon are on the cover of most of the tabloids this month. A new season of Jon and Kate is starting next week. Divorce is in the air. Mark my words, this is going to get uglier and uglier.

And for the record, any of you out there thinking of starring in your own reality television show, consider these marriages and families from recent years:









Yep, all divorced now and/or kids seriously jacked up.

If Jon and Kate put their kids on a regular tv program and lived in California, child labor laws would prevent them from being on camera the amount of time they are on camera while being filmed at their home in Pennsylvania. Kate says they are trapped now - that in order to make a living they have to continue because this is their source of income.

Mark my words there is more trouble ahead for these kids. Kate will not stop though. I guarantee you it's going to become the Kate plus 8 minus 1 show. It will be all about how Kate copes with the divorce and being a single parent. The kids will be the fodder of the tabloids for years and years to come. As teens things will get really ugly. Look what often happens to child stars - how is this any different? It's actually far worse, because rather than playing a 'character' the character is themselves. A recipe for disaster.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Tightrope Parenting

It has occurred to me several times lately that parenting is a lot like walking a tightrope. It requires a lot of skill, balance and concentration and it's pretty easy to get thrown off in the wrong direction.

When people complement me on my children or on my children's accomplishments - I feel a combination of a sense of pride and a pit in my stomach of vague dread.

It seems like the sort of pronouncement that could jinx everything.

My children are not perfect and I am not perfect and they will never be perfect and neither will I. My goal as a mom has never been to be the perfect mother (well maybe it was BEFORE I had kids, or for a very brief time before I realized reality was going to be very different from my fantasy version of motherhood) - My goal as a mother has been to be 'good enough'. Good enough to raise decent, relatively well adjusted, minimally mal-adjusted, functioning, contributing, reasonably happy children to become all of the aforementioned as adults with the least number of bumps in the road along the way as possible. I never anticipated raising perfect children and I never anticipated being perfect. Thanks Goodness! I've seen women drive themselves crazy with such notions.

Worshiping our children is always a bad idea too - because just when you start thinking they are truly wonderful, they will do something completely stupid and prove you wrong.

But it's hard sometimes to figure out how to raise children the 'right' way. I think I've been o.k. Probably I could improve in some areas. But sometimes when I watch young moms today it makes me exhausted watching them kill themselves to be perfect and to raise perfect kids. They make sure they eat all the right foods, they reinforce them in all the right ways so as not to hurt their little egos, they buy them the right kind of educational toys and send them to the right kind of pre-schools, they teach them to "use their words". I'm not making fun of these things - but I do find them silly sometimes. And I'm not saying I didn't do any of those things. But I think I was a little more laid back about my approach. I didn't worry too much if the food wasn't organic, I didn't think McDonald's once in a while was going to kill them, and I wasn't super concerned that my oldest didn't even go to pre-school because at the time, we just plain old couldn't afford it and he spent his days playing in a creek catching frogs and craw-dads and I figured that was education enough for a 4 year old.

Mostly I was right about most of those things.

But at the same time...

I have been very strict in other ways. I have been fairly controlling of weekend activities, friends and the amount of time spent away from my watchful eye. I encourage them to have people over here, but don't encourage a lot of time spent elsewhere (of course I allow it sometimes, just not excessively). You aren't allowed to just roam around without a plan. There's no roaming the streets for no reason. There should be purpose in our pursuits and activities. Our day should have some sort of plan or goal. If part of that plan or goal is that you really think you need to spend 3 hours goofing off in the pool, that's fine, but there should be some sort of plan - don't come whining to me that you're 'bored' or I will like to kill you. When Holden was 13/14 and giving me a little bit of a hard time, when I wasn't particularly crazy about some of his friends, and even less crazy about his attitude, we got into a little bit. One night, when I was super frustrated with where I thought his life was heading if he didn't cease and desist with some of his friends and his attitude, in a fit of frustration I told him (quite loudly) that I would begin from that moment on to "MAKE HIS LIFE A LIVING HELL". It was more complex and the situation didn't resolve itself immediately, but years later when I asked him why he finally got his crap together he said "Mom, you scared me so bad when you said that because I knew you really MEANT it". And I kind of did. But he knew that I still loved him, deep down and with all my heart, and he knew my frustration was coming from that place. It made all the difference I think.

Don't over-protect your kids. It's a terrible idea. They have to learn how to fail and get back up again. You'll retard them in ways you never meant to - ways in which you'll have a very difficult time fixing later. You'll instill in them fears and doubts that will over-take them.

Don't under-protect your kids. It's a terrible idea. They will make mistakes that can't be easily fixed, life will come at them so fast, they won't have the skills to deal with it. It's awful for children to be over-exposed to an adult world when they are too young - it leaves lasting penetrating scars that can't be healed sometimes.

I deeply believe both of the above paragraphs, which is why I find motherhood often taxing. It's a never ending process of trying to find that balance between those two worlds.

I'm not done raising these kids - I have 6 more years before the youngest is 18 and lots of things can happen in the interim. Everyday I feel like I have to be on my A game. Sometimes I'm not, sometimes I'm on my B or C game.

I'm an abysmal failure in certain areas: I can't sew, can't make a costume or even come up with a decent idea half the time for a costume, I forget dates and times easily, I get distracted, sometimes I just want it to be quiet even when they really need me, I'm not a fan of cooking because I hate the clean up all the time, laundry is my least favorite chore, grocery shopping is often a last minute after-thought, and sometimes I can help you with homework but not if it's math.

I'm good at enough things to compensate though I think. Maybe. I won't list them, because it seems like an unseemly thing to do - but I know I'm good at certain things and I think I've learned to be thankful for the areas in which I excel. And maybe sometimes those things are more important than having a mom who can help with math homework.

When I was pregnant with Holden I really thought about what I wanted for this baby - how did I want him to turn out, what could I do as a mother to help that? I thought about it for a long time and I realized what I really wanted was to have a child with confidence. I read a bunch of books, one appropriately titled "How to Raise a Confident Child". There were a lot of things in that book that influenced my parenting.

One day when I was on the playground with Holden there were several other little kids there about his age. He was two going on three. There was a big climbing toy there and some of the kids were climbing on it. Holden was an excellent climber. He started to go up higher and higher. I was standing several yards away and as he got higher I stood a little closer. But I never touched him, I never told him he had to get down. I just told him "be careful, watch where you step". I seemed to be the only parent doing that. The other moms were in two camps, there were the "You're not allowed to climb up there" moms and the moms who were drinking their coffees on the pic-nic bench with the other moms not even watching what their kids were doing. I've always been the mom looking for the happy medium between those two worlds and...dare I say it?

So far so good.

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