Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Thoughts from All Over...

I can't put together a cogent thought to write any one coherent blog but there are lot of random things things floating in my brain:

I love, love, love the website Apartment Therapy. If you've never checked it out maybe you should.

Mean people sometimes comment on my blogs. Usually I don't erase the comments but sometimes I do. It's weird. Sometimes it makes me question even having a blog at all. Actually I question having a blog A LOT.

There are a lot of things I never talk about here, that I probably would talk about it the blog were private. So lately I've thought about making it private again or having it open to friends only. We'll see.

I am sucker for a really well thought out store display or a store with lots of cute stuff. I don't need any of that stuff, but when I'm surrounded by it, it is hard to resist. I walked into Paper Joy today and almost walked out with a bunch of paper I didn't need and some ribbon too. I stopped myself just in time.

I am not joking around when I say that I could live at La Grande Orange. - that's another place I'm a huge sucker for. When I'm in there getting a tuna fish sandwich to go suddenly I think I need a new soy candle, or a zip up lap top case that's a uber cool print, ohhhh these notebooks look super's ridiculous. I'm massively influenced by the general coolness of the place itself - the open kitchen, the blackboards, the yummy food, the smell of the coffee bar, the music (which at any given moment might turn on a dime from Diana Krall to New Pornographers without warning, lighting momentarily on a Doors song) all the little baskets filled with fresh granola and specialty cheeses, aromatic breads and the fresh squeezed juice. It's like someone figured out how to shove all the things I love into one space at the same time. I never really want to leave.

When my husband is out of town I cannot go to bed before 1 am. What is up with that? I'm not nervous to be home alone at all either. It's just a weird thing I have. I have a hard time sleeping without him around.

These days, I'm pretty content with my house. Unless I start to think about all the things I'd still like to do to it, which include:

New metal door on the laundry room
New metal door on weird closet I hide behind the red hutch
Turn studio into a walk in closet
turn Holden's room into a studio
completely re-do kids bathroom - new floor, fixtures, etc.
Re-carpet back rooms
Re-carpet Jordan's room
Re-do all other flooring in main part of the house - probably in real wood
buy new office chair (one that looks cool)

Maybe sort of like this:

I'm going to miss Holden like crazy. He makes us all laugh so much. He's this ball of creative and hysterically witty energy - it will leave such a huge void in our life to have him gone.

On the other hand. I'm so EXCITED for him. He's sooooo ready to go.

It's very conflicting.

I am not a worrier by nature at all.

Sometimes I worry about that. Sometimes I worry that my life is too perfect. I feel guilty about that (I feel guilty about my good fortune, not the worrying). Is that weird? Do other people do that?

There's this one lady who is one of many people who write on a mormon blog who I really like to read. I don't know, she's just very interesting. Her name is annegb (well on the blog anyway) She just amuses me.

I have a hard time getting things done when my kids are around. It's weird, but I cannot concentrate on bill paying or phone calling. Even if they aren't really bugging me. I hate making phone calls. I have to be in the exact right frame of mind for that sort of thing.

I've often felt if there is any failure in my mothering it is in that area - where there is some part of me that just really likes to be solitary more often than most people. Being a mom and craving solitary time do not really go together. I think this is part of the reason women with large families both fascinate and horrify me.

When I was young I thought I wanted to have 10 kids because I did not realize how much I valued being alone. It has kind of come as something of a shock to me.

A lot of the people I went to high school with are on Facebook. It's weird to be updated every day on their comings and goings. It's kind of cool sometimes too. Some of them have turned into very cool and inspiring people. Some of them have turned into nut jobs.

I'm making chicken enchiladas tonight -

I just thought you might want to know that.

ooops, I messed up some of the links...they are updated and fixed least I think so...

1 comment:

Cynthia said...

I don't go to La Grande Orange much. Maybe that is good that it is not on the way to anywhere I usually go because I might go there too often.
You need to be careful with the wish list for your house. Accept that it will never be done. A written list will just remind you that it will never be done.
The office chair is cool, but I couldn't have one like that. If I had one that was fun and bright and colorful, I would feel like I should be doing something more fun than office work. I might not get anything done.
I always stay up late when Dave is out of town. I think is falls under the same category as your other topic - alone time. The house is quiet, the phone is not ringing, the kids are in bed and no one is interupting me. I love a silent house in the middle of the night.
We will miss Holden too.


Related Posts with Thumbnails