Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A Little Circle K Love...


Circle K may be the last place on earth where we all have to run in to everyone, from every other walk of life.

Botox lady with your Louis V. purse, thanks for holding the door open for me.
You didn't have to.

Circle K & Wires

The handsome African American man who was so sad when the slurpee machine was out of crystal lite, when you stood there with your baseball hat on backwards, your shoulder muscles bulging inside your football jersey, I thought I almost saw a tear in your eye that there was no crystal lite. And then when you left on your Harley Davidson I couldn't help but wonder where one keeps a slurpee of crystal lite while they are driving a Harley off into the night.

motorcycle man

Hey lady with the bleach blonde hair, why are you hanging out on the side of the building with all those teenage boys? You're old enough to be their mother. And why does it smell so strongly of pot right now?

yellow dumpster

Mr. Homeless man today I'm going to give you a banana instead of change would that be cool? What is your name anyway. John? Is that your real name. And the smile you give me with a grin that hasn't seen dental hygiene in months tells me that, it probably isn't. But you're a good guy. And you only ask me for money sometimes. But you always ask me how my day is going. In a really sincere way that I appreciate.

dreads & skateboard

Lady with the pit bull? I am sure that your dog is probably really nice. It's probably the nicest pit bull in the whole wide world. But could you maybe not chain it to the handicap sign while you go inside to get change from the cashier so you can walk next door and do your laundry and make a few phone calls? Because...well, I just don't want to have to walk around your pit bull. Does it seem rude if I walk around him. He looks nice. He looks smiley even, and I love dogs, but I don't want to risk it.

laundramat chairs

Dude who yelled at me for parking in the handicap spot. I appreciate you being a concerned citizen and all. That bugs me when people do that too. The only thing is I AM NOT PARKED IN THE HANDICAP SPOT. No I am not. No I am not. Look, I can see why you think that, because this used to be the handicap spot, but it isn't any more - see how they tried to draw lines over the space? And now there's that big handi-cap sign down the way with the actual arm rails leading into the building. Dude I don't know if you're on speed or what but you really need to calm down right now. I AM NOT IN THE HANDICAP SPOT I ASSURE YOU. Please just climb back in your jacked up truck and stop harassing me.

thirst buster diet coke

Hey Mr. sad BMW. Why are you wandering around the store so aimlessly? Looking at all the ice creams. Picking out a frozen meal. Back at the ice creams again. Arms loaded up with Hostess pies. Look at your shiny 7 series out there in the parking lot. Doesn't that make you happy? For dinner you're having potato skins from the Circle K freezer, Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream, and every flavor of Hostess pie? Okay.


Seriously lady with the big dragon tattoo on your back do you HAVE to do your banking at the Circle K and purchase a bunch of money orders when there are 10 people in line?

rear ended

Circle K employee with the gold teeth? I appreciate that you always go refill the diet coke syrup without complaint when you are out. That's awesome. That attitude is why they just promoted you to management.

quick trip

Unlike Mr. Gages over there, who seems like a nice enough kid, but who locks the door with a sign that says 'circle K is closed for 5 minutes - be right back' when he thinks he can get away with it around 11 pm, Mr. Gages with your tricked out car and your baby mamma coming to visit you, I see you having a smoke on the side of the building while we wait impatiently at the door.


Which brings me to other employees Gai - I really hope things weren't too awful for you when you lived in the Sudan. It's really hard to imagine you toting a weapon and being forced to be a warrior against your will at such a young age. You seem so nice and so gentle. I'm so happy you are going to college.


Which reminds me - Skittles? First of all I don't know who named you that or if you gave yourself that handle, but you seem like a really nice girl. Here's the thing though. Circle K is not really a good career choice for you. Also the smoking is doing nothing for your skin or your teeth. Honey how old are you? Maybe 18? Maybe 21? But sweetheart this is wearing you out. Dark eye circles under your paper thin white skin. You're starting to look older than most 30 year olds I know. You've got to come up with a different game plan. I hate to see you waste away here. And you're so sunny and happy - but I can tell your job just plain old tires you out. You shouldn't be working all these overnight shifts at your age.

roller derby girls day off

All the Joses, and Georges, and Rauls, and Juans, and Robertos filling up your mugs with horchata in the morning. I like how you joke around with each other. The easiness with which you climb into the back of the truck together - I only catch glimpses of words I know ' hermanos' , 'loco', 'cabeza', 'pregunta'. And I don't speak Spanish, have never even taken a day of Spanish, but I think you just said "Hey brother let me ask you a question are you crazy in the head?" And you're all laughing all the way to the truck. One of you filled his mug with Red Fanta instead of horchata. And one of you asked the clerk if they have Manzanita. I know right? My son loves Manzanita. But you're a little far away from the west side of town to find it in any of these Circle K's. Maybe down on McDowell at the closest. I tell him this and he smiles and says "hey, your son likes Manzanita? You should buy a whole bunch of it at the Ranch Market for him, then he can drink it every good". And it's probably not worth explaining that my son is in Bulgaria right now drinking a lot of yogurt. And you are out the door hopping in the truck with your Hermanos.

Circle K Sign

Who buys these fake roses up at the front of the store? Oh that guy does. Oh and you're the reason they also stock all these 'herbal energy packs' and what did you just pick up? Is that a fake glass gnome? For reals? And and some porn. Nice.


Kids, watch your language - that is my 13 year old daughter and she does not need to be listening to that. How old are you? 15? And where do you live? Across the street? Look I'm not trying to give you hard time but seriously.


Grandpa with a cane, did you just pull up in that antique car? How cool is that? Looks like you shine up those tires every day. What do you buy at the Circle K? Oh really Fritos and a Coke huh?

out of smokes

Hey Ms. Grown Up Business Lady with your Chanel suit and your Christian Laboutin shoes. I may not be able to justify buying them but I know exactly what shoes those are - those are the $1195 Poseidon peep toe pumps. I know because I like to cut through Saks when I'm actually on my way to Apple or L'Occitane. And I occasionally drool over such things when no employees are around to bug me about whether I want to try them on. And to be honest, I just don't know if I could ever bring myself to buy $1200 shoes. Especially shiny ones like those that you certainly can only wear once in a while. Even if money were no object. Seriously. But look how shiny and lovely they are. Look how they glimmer when you turn your foot impatiently while you're waiting to buy your 32 oz diet coke just like me. Like brilliant little fish scales. But better. With that signature pop of red you can glimpse on the bottom when you walk up to the cashier. Wow. I'm officially in love. With your shoes Ms. Grown Up Business Lady. I wonder if I'll ever be a Grown Up Busy Lady? When I finally get done with school and all. But still...I don't think I'd spend $1200 on shoes. But look how they shimmer in the setting pink sunshine as you climb into your black convertible Jaguar! I'm like a magpie, always drawn to the shiny things.

Homeless Dude w/ Bike

Oh Circle K. What would we do without you? How many fewer interesting people would I see every week if I didn't need my 32 oz. diet coke every day? I heart you for your derelicts and your mouthy impatient customers and the shy guy who counts out his Cheetos purchase in pennies. And really where else is the lady with the White Chanel Suit going to run into the Dragon Tattoo Lady, getting her money order for her rent and buying up a bunch of lottery tickets while she's at it?

homeward bound

*these photos obviously don't correlate exactly to the people I'm describing. But in my defense, YOU try going to Circle K and sitting outside and taking photos of people without looking like a crazy stalker. It's not easy! And Mr. Dreadlocks was walking too fast for me to get a good photo - in fact, people walk surprisingly fast when they are going in and out of Circle K.


Mamie Coffey said...

that about sums it up! such a way with words you have. (am I Yoda?!)

Suzanne Barker said...

Awesome Lezlee. I have to say, I have been going in a little more to "convience stores" lately because I have been wanting a soda. And I have noticed that what most people in line in front of me buy is some form of tobacco, alcohol and lottery tickets. Hmmmm

Darwin said...

You really could write a book.

Wonderful talent!

I Am Boymom said...

I LOVE this post and I really miss that Circle K at 12th St. The boys and I used to go there in the wagon when they were little and get Icees or Ice Cream or Bug Juice. We loved our little walk to the store, watching traffic while we waited to cross the street and talking to the clerk about the purchase of the day. It's a funny little store that is both weird and homey at the same time. Ahhh..good times @ the convenience store. Good times.

Jenny-Jenny said...

Oh the variety! Fun write up!

Lana Mitzel said...

That was the best post I've EVER read!

oh my goodness...complete awesomness!

Sarah said...

To quote my fav movie filmed in PHX: "strange things are afoot at the circle K"... loved this!

Bandanamom said...

Thanks guys, I don't think I saw all these comments before. Now that you can track what people's favorite posts are, this one keeps coming up as a fave. I'm not sure if people are just googling the price of the 32 oz. diet coke, or actually enjoying the post, but I do kinda like it myself. :)


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