Thursday, August 30, 2007

Pool Dreams


In the Shade of the Orange Tree
Originally uploaded by bandanamomaz.

Ever wonder how much something that sticks in your head affects your future?

There was a commercial when I was a young teenager; the link is here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=PyWM7kE5nds

(I tried embeding it but I am doing something wrong)

It's a very short commercial, a Chanel No. 5 commercial from 1979 - so I would have been 12-13 when this came out. I absolutely loved it. I can't describe what it was exactly - even as I watch it now on Youtube I am annoyed that the quality is not as good as it could be and it has the annoying Marshall Fields tag on it. The origianl commercial was somehow magical to me.

When we built our pool I told Kirk I wanted white plaster, even though almost everyone gets pebbletech now. I don't like the look of pebbletech - but the real reason why is this commercial. I wanted that deep blue that you can only get when the water reflects off the light.

I had not seen this commercial since at least the early 80s when I was making my request for white plaster a few years ago. But it stuck with me so much that it seemed uber important that it be done that way. And I stand by that decision. I have a much more emotional connection to the color of my pool than people with the less old-school version I chose.

I found that commercial on youtube and I realized something. The shape of the pool? It's the exact shape of the pool we have. Apparently I was even more influenced by this commercial than I thought.

It's just one of the little things in life that makes me happy - being able to look out my french doors while I am on the computer most of the day working, being able to see the pool.

Now if only I had been equally influenced by the shape the woman is in that commercial.

I can do without the guy in the speedo though.

But I do love Chanel No. 5.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

80s



Originally uploaded by duchamp blinks.

And here's another level Marie Antoinette works on - and I guess mainly the movie, but in a way, the real Antoinette too -

It's like a giant replay of the 80s. And heaven knows I loved the 80s. Why? Because it was just fun. So much of everything we do IS NOT fun anymore.

I was teen in the 80s, so that right there made them a lot more fun for me than they probably were for a lot of other people. And mainly, I remember all the best parts about the 80s - it's not as if there weren't bad parts. But it was kind of weird innocent time in a way. The music was sort of all fluff and nonesense, but there was that punky edge everywhere to everything. My mom used to always wax nostalgic about the 50s and how they had so much fun and it was such a relaxed and fun time. I think in some ways the 80s were like that too - of course my mom didn't see that during the 80s, but there are similarities. We felt like we were a long ways away from things like War - oh, yeah, there was the cold war, but I think a lot of us kids thought that was our parents fears exaggerated - I don't think we really hated Russia the way our parents seemed to - we sort of figured out that Mikhail Barishnikov was from Russia and so...well, they couldn't be all that bad could they? So war seemed sort of ...well, really UNLIKELY and at the end of the day, we just wanted some fun music and some good shoes and to be able to dance.

It's sad to me that my kids are growing up in an era of what seems to be endless war and conflict. These are not new things - these kinds of things have happened all throughout history, but I was born during during the war in Vietnam and by the time I was old enough to understand what that was it seemed like a long, long ways off in the past. I honestly never imagined a future where my kids would live with the images of war on a daily basis. It's like they really don't get to have that luxury of not knowing. I liked not really knowing.

Marie Antoinette liked not really knowing. But then again, look what happened to her.

Punk was a movement meant to upset the balance of things, but what really upset the balance of things were ideas like "trickle down economics". Poor people became MUCH more poor during the 80s. Rich people started getting A LOT richer. Things began in the 80s which continue today, with the wealthiest people trying to hold on to a lifestyle which excludes more and more people every day.

I relate to those poor people - but if I'm being honest, I have to admit I'm hanging on to my wealth in the same way - I just don't have as much of it as the people I criticize the most.

But money has really become an abstract concept to me...over time. But that's probably a blog for another day.

But I did so love the 80s.

How great is it that Sofia Coppola put a pair of Converse in the background in Marie Antoinette?

Marie Antoinette


Marie Antoinette
Originally uploaded by hannahkarina.

The story of Marie Antoinette is interesting on several levels. It's kind of a reverse fairy tale - which is sort of tragic, but fascinating. Many little girls dream of growing up to be a princess. Marie always was a princess and grew up in Austria, then at 15 she was shipped off to France to marry Louis the Sixteenth, who was sort of a big nerd, but someday to be king of France. And in the meantime, while she was waiting to be Queen someday, she used her time really getting into fashion, decorating, and generally hanging out with her friends in the palace. I don't think she even really wanted to be Queen - she did in the sense that she had a religious conviction about it, but I don't think her desire ever was to really rule France. And once she did become Queen her fall was sort of a foregone conclusion, because by then, with all her exhorbitant spending during a time when most of the people in France were literally starving - well, it was a revolution. That's a huge simplification of what really happened.

But it's an interesting and cautionary tale I think about what it really means to be a princess...or a prince.

It's also kind of a tale about what happens when you get EVERYTHING you want. Not always good. Sometimes there are really awful consequences to that, which catch up eventually.

But ulimately you can't sort of help but feel a little sorry for old Marie Antoinette, who was really just a product of her time, and her circumstances. She unrealistically idealized the concept of peasant life, even to the point of building a small recreated Hamlet on the grounds of Versailles where she could have goats, and crops and cows and pretend to be common. But all the while she was doing that she had other people out there milking the cows for her and keeping everything up for her so she could flit around in her cotton frock and "pretend" to be a milkmaid. It's sort of pathetic. But it's not really her fault either. How would she know anything of a peasants life? She lived her entire life inside the walls of palaces and castles, only passing through the countryside in her fabulous carraige.

Sometimes this makes me think of people here in the United States, people who we vote for, people who end up ruling our country. Often, these people were raised wealthy enough that poverty is merely a concept. They have no practical experience with it.

It's easier to feel sorry for Marie Antoinette and hard for me to feel sorry for say, George Bush though. Mainly because Marie Antoinette had absolutely no choice in the matter. She could not refuse to be a princess or a Queen.

I have other thoughts on this too ---

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Lately


Leonie Powder Revisited
Originally uploaded by eyecandyforthebrokenhearted.

I'm sort of obsessed with Marie Antoinette. It started with a great book I've been reading "Abundance". Then I finally saw the movie Marie Antoinette Directed by Sofia Coppola (who I love by the way). And she was apparently interested in Marie Anoinette in much the same way I am. Now a friend has recommended the soundtrack - which I know I did like while I was watching the movie but I was arrested by the movie and didn't pay a lot of attention to all the music specifically. But I absolutely ADORE this soundtrack. It's the greatest mix of good 80s music (siouxie & the banshee's) with some classical and great new indie (the radio dept.).

More thoughts on Marie Antoinette later.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Scone Palace Peacock


Scone Palace Peacock
Originally uploaded by bandanamomaz.

This is my most favorited image on flickr. It's also the photo published in this month's JPG magazine. A lot of people have asked to buy the photo so I've set up a new website highlighting all of our photgraphy at: haysphotos.com

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Pacific Coast Highway


Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park 5531
Originally uploaded by AvarusMentis.

I have wanderlust today. I started planning a trip to California for Kirk and I. He can't get away until fall so mostly I will have to be satisfied with thinking about it for now...I love the pacific coast highway. It's a very magical place. It always seems impossible to me that people actually live there and can go to the beach or see the ocean...SMELL the ocean, every day. How could anyone ever be unhappy if you lived on the beach?

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Normal Heights


Normal Heights, San Diego
Originally uploaded by tobo.

O.K., so Back to Normal...whatever that means.

Back to normal right now means I have almost caught up on 2 months of laundry (seriously), drive back and forth to dive meets, swim meets and sit at the pool for a while every day, go to the movies with kids, try to keep cool, try to keep the house clean, think about taking another class (just thinking right now, need a SHORT break), doing church junk I don't want to do, trying to find time to have lunch w/ friends and failing in that pursuit most of the time. So yeah....normal summer stuff.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Exam time


Exam time
Originally uploaded by mr_phillip.

Finished! A's in both classes! YEAH!!!!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Provo, Utah


Provo, Utah
Originally uploaded by BellePhotos.

I looked for photos on flickr that would somehow convey Utah or Provo and while this isn't exactly what I was looking for, I sort of love it. It's an interesting diptych. Both photos are taken on campus here at BYU - on the right is the Harmon building which is where the department who governs my particular degree here (through independent study) is located. Also, as an undergrad here in the 80s, my ward met in that building. So it's oddly appropriate, plus, I just like it.

My entry doesn't have a whole lot do with anything related to the photo though.

Everytime I get off the plane in Salt Lake a few things occur to me - well actually things start to occur to me before I ever even get on the plane.

1. I have never seen so many people "pre-board" on Southwest as the people who are traveling from Phoenix to Salt Lake - and it doesn't occur as much in reverse (though theoretically it should...could be the time of day I am flying), "Pre-board" are people who have children under the age of 5 or the Elderly, especially those in wheelchairs. There are scads of both and all of the families are usually big families. So it might be a family with 6 kids and one of them happens to be under 5. With Southwest there is "open seating" so this kind of annoys some people, although it doesn't annoy me. I just notice it as some kind of phenomenon particular to people flying to Utah.

2. Immediately after you get off the plane in Salt Lake the number of people traveling with children increases exponentially. Explodes actually.

3. Utahns and by extension, mormons, have a particular "look". Now I don't mean in that "I can just tell they are mormon" way - that's a spiritual thing and it is true, sometimes you can "tell" and that happens to me in Phoenix all the time when I am at a restaurant or something and I can just tell someone sitting near me is mormon and then this is usually confirmed by the spotting of underwear lines or some such thing - a ctr ring perhaps. I am talking about something else. It's a physical look. It's almost like there are "types" and there are these certain looks, it's quite a combination of something I would think of as typically scandinavian and brittish. Also there is an "Idaho" type that is more specific and I can spot people in the airport who are from Idaho. Actually I can hear it and see it in their dress too. It's a very subtle distinction, but one that I am aware of most of the time.

4. Utahns and Idahoans have an accent. Do people from Arizona? I don't know. When I moved to Utah from Idaho long ago I noticed that in Idaho if you are going to the store you would say "goin to the store" and in Utah you would say "goEnG to the store". The 'i' becomes a strong 'E' sound and the "G" is emphasized like the begining of the word "grapes". I think in Arizona it is just said "normally". And all "ing" words are like this. Sometimes in Utah you will find people who take it a bit further and say "goINK", the 'k' in replacement of the 'g' is subtle, but it's there. In Idaho there are little oddities, like my Grandpa used to say "Pert Near". Which meant something was "almost", it's an adulteration of "pretty near". So there are little things like that which I wouldn't hear someone in Utah say. However in Utah there are little things people say which are so uniquely Utah that they almost grate on my nerves. Take the word "favorite" for example. In native Utahn it is not pronounced "favor it" or even the more usual "favrit", no they have to take it a step further and say "favor ITE". As in that is my FAY VOR EYE T color. I'm not exagerating, it usually has FOUR syllables. People also sound like they are talking with a marble in their mouth. Odd vowells and consonants are drawn out. Like in the sentence "They were really quick". In Utah that might sound like "They whirrrrr rilllly QWwwick" . It's a drawl, but very different from a southern drawl. There's a girl on the radio who when she calls guys "hot", says "hawwwwwwT". They emphasize that last consonant a lot. It's often louder than anything else in the word.

4. There are billboards for a lot of "live free or die" types of groups. The state is largely republican but honestly, what is really is, is largely libertarian. Because if you really start to analyze the way that mormons here think politically, it's not really so easy to peg as republican or democrat but something else entirely. I think this may go back to the days when the church had an entirely seperate political party. When that was broken up Brigham Young assigned families - you be democrat, you be republican - but ulitmately, we never really trusted the federal government, we were much more of an independent bunch. I think this is why many mormons feel more comfortable with republicans who talk about "small government". It's part of our tradition. But our tradition too is very collective, it's very communal, so we have these odd juxtapositions that don't fit in neatly with either party completely. There are some estimates here in Provo that roughly 40% of the population here in Utah County are republicans, 30% are democrat and 30% are "other". The other vote republican often enough for it to swing things significantly in that direction but there have been many notable exceptions.

5. The buzz on the street here regarding Mitt Romney running is very mixed. I would say about half the students I've talked to think it's great and half have big concerns. Many people are so independent they do not want to be pressured to like him just BECAUSE he is mormon. Interestingly, a recent poll here in Utah showed that Romney has the majority but in a close second is Barrack Obama. In one news story they showed that those who had actually read the book "The Audacity of Hope" were more likely to vote for Obama than Romney, mormon or no. Now there's a problem with that statistic because probably, people who were already leaning that way are much more likely to have read the book. However, I do find it interesting that he is second to Romney, and not a different republican. I would have guessed McCain.

These are just little cultural tid-bits for you.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Bonnie Pointer


Bonnie-Pointer-383
Originally uploaded by juicefreewithsoul.

Today's observation: It's pretty much impossible to remain distressed over the book you are reading for class "Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters" which is a heavy, heavy read involving eating disorders, of which, I know a little something about, while listening to Bonnie Pointer.

Well, Bonnie Pointer put an end to the book for now. I'll pick it up again later when it isn't weighing so heavily on my soul.

So to Bonnie: "Heaven Must Have Sent You". The salve of Disco. Some will consider that blasphemy - but I absolutely refuse to believe you can listen to her AND stay in a bad mood. So in this case, Disco does not suck.

Besides it reminds me of roller skating with my friends in 6th grade. Awesome.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Lehi


Flour
Originally uploaded by Blacksmith369.

I'm back. It's starting to feel slightly schizophrenic this back and forth and back and forth thing. A few hours ago I was taking my kids to the Madison pool and a now I'm in Lehi - home of these flour mills.

Remember that movie Footloose? This was where Kevin Bacon (or rather his character) worked. They filmed that whole movie in Lehi at the flour mills, at the local high school and in the surrounding area. When I was 16 and a Junior in High School my friends and I got this idea that we should come to Provo for the weekend. Now to drive to Provo from Rexburg Idaho is about a 5 hour drive on perfect roads in good weather. It was "spring" , which in Idaho means, there's still snow. I think, although I'm not sure, it was March. Tina's dad said we could use her parents car - they had a VW Rabbit, which was relatively new. It was me, Tina Marlowe, Tirzah Thompson, Kari Hammar and Alicia Hansen. We drove to Provo and stayed with our friend Jenny Perkins who had moved to the Orem/Provo area from Rexburg a few years before. We stayed at Jenny's house and went to the movies and went out to eat and went to the mall - girly stuff like that. The movie we saw was "Footloose" and we all loved it.

Several things amaze me about this now. (aside from the love of Footloose - which I'm not going to apologize for - I'll still watch it if it comes on late night tv). Our parents let us do this? Doesn't this seem kind of amazing? They must have really thought that we were very trustworthy! And we were - I'm not saying that - but I think a lot of parents would hestitate to let five 16 year old girls head off in winter weather in a VW Rabbit - each of us with just maybe $100 to our name.

I specifically remember my mom giving me $100 and I had an awesome time on that $100 - I bought clothes at the mall - we ate out all weekend, I helped pay for gas and I came home with money left over! That's amazing too!

What a great time in life to be so young and kind of clueless.

It's weird to me too that most of my friends still live in Rexburg. They moved away for a while but they all ended up back there. That's a whole other blog for another day.

I just remember driving past those flour mills on the way back from Provo to home, after seeing them movie, and the "Footloose" song came on the radio as we were driving by - and there were 5 girls in a compact car screaming and singing all the way to Salt Lake.

So I think about that when I drive past this every day and I smile.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

I've no idea who this is...but I LOVE that ice cream


april 27 045
Originally uploaded by seaverman.

This little girl is eating a creamie. Creamies are difficult, if not impossible, to find in Phoenix. But creamies are still in abundance in Utah. And I love them. LOVE them. This little girl is eating the banana flavor - the same flavor I love. Just saying...one more reason to like Utah I guess.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

BUT....and again with the tree of wisdom


050314
Originally uploaded by sudweeks.

I just read through the past few blog entries and it makes it sound very skewed, as if I really am in a state of annoyance or disagreement with BYU or how things are here much of the time. In defense of BYU I would like to say that in actuality it is a lot like reading the diary of a 13 year old girl. There are going to be a lot of entries that say something like "I hate my mom!" or "I hate my best friend!", but really, she loves her mom and she loves her best friend and all will be well in the end.

That's how it is here with me - I love BYU, we always make up in the end. I am just trying to vent and figure things out as I do not have "friends" here to discuss these annoyances with. That is all.

So never fear, I still heart BYU - just with hesitation at times.

SWKT & Tree of Wisdom


070223
Originally uploaded by sudweeks.

That's the Spencer W. Kimball Tower in the background with an abstracted "tree of wisdom" sculpture that is on one side of the building. This is the building the houses the psychology department and hence, where I spend quite a lot of my time.

Today I am suppose to be writing a midterm - it's a paper and it's complicated and I'm highly unmotivated due to lack of ability. Seriously. I have no idea what I am doing.

Today I felt like the discussion in one of my classes got completely hijacked and off topic and it really bugged me.

I always feel torn between trying to stand up for what I think are important things to remember and understand - and then feeling like I am the only one who doesn't agree with where the discussion is going. I get really bugged when someone pulls out an obscure quote by someone in a talk - in this instance it was Elder Scott - and then tries to justify a position that I don't think the church has ever taken with this quote. Then I get REALLY annoyed when I go off by myself after class to look up the quote and find that even in the darn talk (which was not given in conference by the way, but at some other forum thingy) what was represented as being said isn't even what he really said.

And I don't want to go into the whole thing because it would be a really long blog and it's kinda beside the point but it's just really annoying. I feel like it is so contradictory to be constantly drilling into us in class to be careful of the "science" behind a lot of the studies we read because of the inherent bias that can exist within the study and then to interject obvious bias via the teacher into the discussion and completely muddy things into oblivion.

GAHHHHHHH.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Out of order


Out of order
Originally uploaded by Octoferret.

Okay so for those of you worried that I would break the rules at BYU and expose my class to objectionable material, never fear!

I give up. There's a way for a computer genius I am sure but there isn't any way that I can find that will allow a youtube video to play on this campus no matter how it's imbedded.

But I forge on (actually I forge on in the quest to somehow make this work eventually, which is probably a sad reflection of a little rebellious streak in my psyche, however meek).

I really wasn't excited about being here this week. But I just realized this week represents being half way through so that's probably part of the malaise.

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Worst Part of Censorship


The Worst Part of Censorship
Originally uploaded by Lady, That's My Skull.

Okay so Censorship is probably too strong of a word in this instance. However, I do find the following highly frustrating at least:

We are asked in class to leave class and use the library computers, or to stay if we like and use our own laptops or take our laptops elsewhere in groups and 3 or 4 and find images for a particular project in my gender class. Immediately I think of an old 70's commercial as well as a video on the internet that will work well. So we go off in our little groups and try to find these things. But there is a big problem. The video is on you tube and BYU automatically blocks that site. You can't get there from campus. There's no way. It's also blocking the old 70's commercial which we've located on google video but it won't let us play it. In fact, when you use google video about 3/4 of the videos are blocked. We finally find a couple of things we can use and come back to the classroom with our measly finds. The other groups had similar problems. This is a class on gender and psychology - this problem happened earlier in the semester when trying to look up some relevant articles online. The BYU computers search everything for objectionable content. Since we were looking for things about gender the content was automatically blocked on most of the articles. These are scholarly journals but we can't pull them up. Now later I found that if you knew the website you were going to, you could pull it up, but by using a search engine to find it - that was getting automatically blocked by the strong filters. Is this a good thing?

Here is my thinking. Yes, it's BYU and perhaps we should expect a certain amount of this. You are going to a private church run school. WIFI is everywhere (almost) on campus. This means that any 18 year old with a laptop can be on the internet on campus 24/7. This perhaps makes BYU feel that they must be extra certain that inappropriate content is not able to be accessed on their watch. I can see the logic of this.

But here's the problem, we aren't trying to look up anything inappropriate. We are trying to learn something and we are actually not able to even complete a simple class assignment because of this blocking.

Example 2. Later in the afternoon in my other class a presentation is given. Inside the presentation the students doing a powerpoint had a link to a therapy session that showed exactly the type of therapy there were talking about. Guess what? Won't work. The video originated from you tube. No dice. There is no way to access anything from that site. Their presentation suffers quite a bit because they try to make up for this 7 minute loss on the fly and it doesn't quite work.

It starts to seem a little excessive to me. And maybe I'm totally wrong. I mean, I'm willing to re-think it.

But instead I've spent the greater part of the last few hours trying to test to see if there is a way around this. I've started a new blog on a different site. I've uploaded one of the videos we were discussing on to that site. I'm then going to test it out tomorrow when I am on campus to see if I go from here to there, can I watch it? Or because it still originates on you tube will the censor/filter catch that and block it?

And is it sad that this will seem like some kind of accomplishment to me if I have figured out a way around their block?

AND maybe more importantly, does someone with a personality like mine become more likely to try to find ways around these things because the barrier is there? I don't know the answers, these are just things I am thinking about.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Phoenix


Phoenix
Originally uploaded by Eric Vondy.

Back Home....

Something I have discovered making these little trips back and forth to Utah;

When I was a little girl growing up in rural Idaho there were a lot of things to love about where I grew up. But I never thought I would live there when I got older. I can't really explain why because everyone else I knew thought that they WOULD live there forever. And maybe that was why, maybe that affected me somehow and I resisted it. I always imagined I would live in Utah - Salt Lake specifically. I would marry a boy from Utah or I would move there on my own.

Now this may have been because of the limited experience and travel I had done in my young life. We had been to California but it never occured to me to move there. The only other big city we had visited was Seattle - and I thought it was so lovely and green and wonderful too - but it never occured to me that I would move their either. Probably because the only people I ever knew who moved away usually moved to...well, really just to Utah. So that is what I always imagined. So when I eventually did move to Utah and later to Salt Lake, this was no surprise, it was what I had imagined all along. (I realize there are current parables to this idea of this now infamous book "the secret", which frankly, I take some issues with, but that's an entirely different blog...)

Later, when Kirk got admitted to a lot of good East Coast schools and we took a trip back there - I almost had a panic attack imagining living in DC and going to Georgetown or in NY and going to Columbia. I had a 2 year old by then and I just couldn't picture it. I'm sure I could have done it but UVA in bucollic Charlottesville seemed a more sane option at the time. But even that required some anti-anxiety medication for me to actually get moved.

Because this threw my whole lifes plan into a tailspin. MY plan was that we would always live in Utah on a tree lined street in Salt Lake and maybe live in the avenues or Sugarhouse or maybe the University area, end of story. I would be a few hours away from my mom and close to Yellowstone and Jackson Hole still...all the things I missed about living in Idaho. Why on earth would we move?

And I really KNEW why - I knew it was an opportunity too good to pass up, but it did not fit within the parameters of the schema I had built my identity on.

Fast forward - at some point after law school (and living in Virginia was so lovely in so many ways but we did miss the West. I missed the sky and I missed the attitude of the West) we moved to Arizona. Honestly, at the time, I wasn't sure if this was a permanent move or a stopping off point. For years when we would visit family back in Utah and Idaho I would imagine that maybe, someday, Kirk would get a job back in Salt Lake again and everything would be back to "normal" and this would all just be a fun little experiment we tried.

But months turned into years and an associates job at a big law firm turned into a career at a firm where he is a partner and we started building a life. And a big part of that life honestly had to do with the Stake where we live - a certain kinship we felt for those we got to know here. In a way so many people became like extended family to us. And I grew in love with the sunsets. And the architecture. And the heat (okay don't ask me if I still love it on August 16th but mostly, I still do love it). The summers spent almost entirely in the pool. Lots of bar b que'd food. Driving with the top down. So many, many, things. The diversity of central phoenix, both in terms of the people, the places, the things, EVERYTHING. I really love it. I've even learned to grow to love the desert itself.

I love our old house. I love that we turned our old house into something different than what it was that made it functional for us but it's still charming to me. I even love that it's not that big. Really.

So this is home now. And when I am in Utah - even this time of year, when it's all turning so lovely and green but it isn't quite as hot as here and you can drive around with your windows rolled down - well, this would be the time of year when normally I would have entertained those thoughts of moving back. But i don't. It's not home anymore. And somehow it can't quite compare to what I love about Phoenix.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

BANANARAMA


BANANARAMA True Confessions 1999 Re-Issue US Edition
Originally uploaded by yummygjd.

So today I was both very productive and on top of things and regressive. I was working on a paper at some point in the Wilkinson Center and this girl started practicing the piano and it was really good but it was just....loud and distracting somehow. Like I kept thinking too much about what kind of person just plops down in front of like hundreds of people and starts playing like that - and it was just...it was too much to think about. Like I kept thinking about whether she was just this really gifted musician and just practicing because you know, why else do they have a piano there unless it's to be used right? But then it just seemed odd too. Anyway, I ended up putting on my ipod shuffle to drown out the noise while I was writing my paper. Yes, this might seem counterintuitive - why am I listening to noise to drown out noise? But this noise was of my choosing. Every song on my shuffle is a song I love in some way and there is a wide variety of random things on there - I've got Al Green and Stevie Wonder, I've got the Clash and Nirvana, I've got the Fratelli's and Imogen Heap and the Shins and I've got an awful lot of embarassing 80s music on there too. Just when I finished my paper and started walking over to the library to print it Bananarama came on my ipod - and this is one of the things I love about a shuffle - you just never know what you're going to get next. I felt very much like time had stopped and it was 1986 again and I was in college. You know how songs can have that kind of power sometimes?

Anyway, Bananarama totally made my day seem great somehow. I felt very much like I was able to have a "re-do" of what I should have done when I was in college the first time. A moment of brief time travel.

BYU Creamery on 9th


BYU Creamery on 9th
Originally uploaded by sainusa.

So my tummy is full of bad evil probably over 20% milkfat ice cream. And it was soooo good. Raspberry Cheesecake.

I feel oddly on top of things right now. So far so good!

It is so much easier for me to focus for the few days I am here than it was when I was here before and cared about a social life and hanging out with friends, etc. It's kind of awful to realize how much more importance I put on those types of things than I did on school itself.

I don't really regret it though. I had FUN. And it isn't like I completely blew off school altogether. But I was capable of more I know -

Well, we grow wiser with age - at least most of us do I guess. I am sure many of the students here are already more wise than I was.

But are they having as much fun as I did? :)

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