A love note to Harkins Camelview

 

Will I be able to make you understand why I love this place so much and why I will miss it so much? 

  

 I do not remember the first time I went to this theatre* (*blogger wants to tell me this is spelled wrong, but its Harkins Theatres and I'm sticking to that.)  I just know that since I moved to Phoenix in 1995 I have been in love with this place. I love that it shows all independent and foreign films. I love that it's an older building and the screens are kinda old school, the seats aren't stadium and they aren't fancy, the clientele is a weird mixture of middle aged people and college students, and the experience feels very intimate. The whole place is cozy as hell. Even the bathrooms are likable. The murals are cool and the walls are slightly dingy and nothing about it is really slick or what I've come to experience at the nicer newer theatres and I totally dig that. And those mushroom shade structures out front? It hurts my heart they are going away.

But what I think I probably love the most about this place is that it helped me heal from my divorce. It helped me get to know myself better and to be a happier person. I am being totally honest when I say I don't think I would be doing as well as I am emotionally without this place.

Let me back up for a minute.

When I was in high school I got into this thing where I felt like I needed to be out doing something every Friday night. I mean maybe sometimes that would be hanging out at a friends house, but a lot of times it was going to the movies, going to a football game, going to a dance, or being silly with my friends driving around Rexburg Idaho. I went out on Saturdays sometimes too but it felt like I pretty much ALWAYS went out on Friday.

In college it was similar. When I was in college I had another experience that contributed to why I love Camelview so much - and really movies in general. The summer between my Sophomore and Junior year of college was little rough (an understatement) - for lots of reasons I was pretty depressed. I had recently moved to Provo and while I love Provo that first summer was a little bit of a difficult adjustment. I remember one day I was in my room which was part of the attic of an old house in downtown Provo. It was hot. No air conditioning! I was sweltering and in a very bad mood. I remember there was no one at home to do anything with and I really needed to get out of the house. I remember having this vague idea about the movies and air conditioning. I got dressed up in this summer dress, put on full make-up, did my hair, and then walked to the movie theatre in downtown Provo. The movie was "The Secret of My Success" with Michael J. Fox. I went to that movie alone. I was so much happier afterwards. Not only was it so much cooler getting out of that stifling old attic but it just felt good to go and do something. From then on I used going to the movies by myself from time to time as a way to regroup.

 

 

There's something so magical about movies for me. That summer in Provo I learned there was a Foreign Cinema on campus in the Kimball Building. I quickly fell in love with Foreign films. Pretty soon I was traveling to Salt Lake with my friend Nan to see movies we couldn't see in Provo. Movies like "Manon of the Spring" and "My Life as A Dog". These are still old favorites. I don't know why exactly I grew to love films of a quirkier and more exotic quality. I loved the pacing of foreign films. I loved that a lot of the time they are just more of a contemplation on life than an action packed sequence of events. They are often more quiet and I need that sometimes. I like the feeling of watching something in a foreign language and then having that language kind of wash over me. I delude myself often into feeling I can speak Portuguese for an hour or two. I enjoy American movies that are independent usually much more than mainstream films for the same reason.

For many years when I was married we went out on Friday nights. Sometimes just to dinner, or maybe to the art gallery, or First Friday, or some event - maybe dinner with friends. I always enjoyed going out on Friday. It felt like a great way to kick off the weekend and my fall back "go-to" activity was a movie and dinner. In retrospect I am not sure if my husband really enjoyed that as much as I did.

 

To me there was nothing better than driving around in the convertible with the top down on a warm Arizona evening, smelling all the goodness of the desert, anticipating a perfectly cooked steak and a movie. When my marriage ended my husband and I had 50/50 custody and we split the time the children were at his home and mine. I had them slightly more often than he did and one of the things we agreed on was that they would go to his house on Friday nights and stay until sometime on Saturday. I was okay with that and at first I would try to fill my Friday night schedule with meeting friends for dinner or something similar. But often I felt like I was just trying to fill up the time so I didn't have to think too much about being alone. It is weird when you have a bunch of friends who are in couples and suddenly it really doesn't work to hang out with any of them anymore. I totally understand why that happens, but it doesn't make it suck any less. Eventually I started to plan ahead that I would always go to a movie by myself if I didn't have anything else to do. And often (usually) I preferred that to anything else. It was the perfect way to spend my Friday.

 

 

I would drive, up Lincoln Drive to Scottsdale Road with the windows rolled down, smelling the desert and glad I had somewhere to go and something to look forward to. When you're overcoming something difficult spending time alone can be very soothing.  There's no one to answer to and if you want to feel sad or cry - you can go right ahead.  I healed one Friday night at a time. Camelview was a huge part of that and for that reason I will always love it. In the movies, in the dark, you have epiphanies about things. You learn a lot of important things about yourself. You see things you never saw before. You hear things in a new way. You become a student of human nature and it teaches you. You cry. You laugh. When you leave - whatever was wrong when you came is all better.

I know losing one movie theatre isn't going to totally ruin my little ritual. There are other theatres. And there will always be great movies. And the new movie theatre that is replacing Camelview will be awesome with it's stadium seats and dining options and blah blah blah. Very slick and beautiful and I'm sure lovely in it's own way. But it definitely will not be the same. I hate that we throw things away because they are old. I hate that people always want newer things and shinier things. They are hardly ever better. People usually figure that out when it's way to late. My last movie there was last weekend watching Amelie. Which is one of my favorite movies and I saw it there when it first came out. It was a fitting note to end things on. Anyway. This is my love note to Harkins Camelview. Thank you.

The Podcasts I Love

Hey there!  It's been a long time!

I've had this blog post in the back of my head for a while now.  Do you listen to podcasts?  I drive a lot for work and while I'm driving I sometimes listen to a book on audio or music of course - but other times a podcast is just the right thing to keep me awake and my brain engaged.  When I'm listening to an audio book and I'm tired I can find myself drifting off and getting distracted and all of the sudden I have to rewind because I don't know what was just discussed - with podcasts, for whatever reason, I am less likely to do that.

So here are the Podcasts I have discovered that I really like:

 

1. MYSTERY SHOW 

This one is my newest and probably most favorite and you are going to love it guys.  So Starlee Kine,  who I have listened to and liked for many years on This American Life, has this new show which is kinda sort hard to explain but genius and awesome.  Basically Starlee takes a mystery that you cannot solve on your own and she solves it for you.  The offerings thus far have flung us into the weird world of Britney Spears reading habits, video stores who mysteriously vanish in the middle of the night, and a rambling sleuth all over the southwest for a belt buckle's owner.  I know it sounds weird and it is but it is also HIGHLY entertaining and wonderful.   There is something about Starlee's quirky yet soothing voice combined with offbeat amateur detective work that is perfection.

Starlee Kine

 

2. Reply All  

Reply All sort seems like a show I would not think I would like.  The common theme here is shows related to the internet and technology.  That sounds like snooze fest.  But that is not really what this is.  The stories Alex Goldman and PJ Vogt give us on this show are much more than that - they are about things as interesting as how an orthodox Jew continues to find access to his community through the internet even when he's no longer orthodox, how teenage girls have vast conspiracy theories about One Direction, and phenomenon like "weird twitter".  Just try it, I think you'll really dig it.  These guys are very entertaining and do a great job of finding really interesting stories.  

Alex Goldman and PJ Vogt

 3. The Moth 

The Moth is really cool.  It's people performing their personal stories live, under a spotlight in a roomful of strangers.  They hold live events around the country and broadcast them here.  Super interesting to listen to people share their personal stories and the emotions and content are all over the place but they are always entertaining.  

4.  This American Life

The list would be incomplete without this - I have loved This American Life for many many years.  I don't always get to catch it on the radio on Saturday afternoons and now you can listen via podcast.  Ira Glass is one of my favorite people ever and this broadcast has made my life more rich than it otherwise would have been and how many times can you say that about something entertaining?  

 

Ira Glass

5.  Invisibilia

  
 Invisibilia takes a stab at understanding human behavior - delving into beliefs, assumptions and emotions.  The two hosts are Lulu Miller and Alix Spiegel and they manage to combine science, research, social science, and old fashioned story telling into this wonderful mix that makes you feel smarter and to see the world in different ways all at the same time. 

Lulu Miller and Alix Spiegel

 

6.  Love + Radio 

I want to warn right up front this show sometimes veers into some territory some may find offensive.  Nick van der Kolk will give you a warning up front if he thinks you might be offended by something or if it's explicit in some way.  I will tell you I have found many of these episodes absolutely mesmerizing.  It's about love, human nature, and all the weird ways human beings experience love and relationships.  But they create this show by talking to some really interesting human beings.  They then mix the show in a way that makes you feel like you're on drugs sometimes.  Really.  It's pretty awesome if you're into feeling your brain stretch and expand as you listen to a podcast.  

 

Nick van der Kolk

7. Rumble Strip Vermont 

Rumble Strip is produced by Erica Heilman in Vermont and the concept is basically she interviews random people and manages to come up with some really surprising and interesting stories.  One week it might be an artist or a criminal or even a soccer mom but they will tell you about what they love, hate, think, feel or something they have done.  It sounds weird and maybe boring but it really never is anything but fascinating.  

 

Erica Heilman

8. Serial 

If you somehow missed the phenomenon of Serial I have no idea what rock you've been hiding under.  Seriously?  Anyway, if you did you really MUST go listen to the episodes already produced by Sarah Koenig.  Serial this season was the story of a man accused of murder and sitting in jail but there were a lot of answered questions in the case.  It's possibly the most entertaining piece of detective work I've ever heard.  I was so hooked I would look forward to each Thursday morning knowing there would be a new episode.  Sarah is currently producing a new story for the new season but we don't quite know what that story will be yet.  With her talent, I'm sure it will be amazing.  

Sarah Koenig

 I'm positive these will keep you busy for a while!  Let me know if you have a favorite I haven't mentioned.  I'm always looking for more ideas. 

 

Saving My Sanity (or Ma Santé Mentale)

I discovered something that has been saving my sanity lately.

Some days I am so busy and things are so crazy at work, I don't know how to slow down when I get off work.  In fact, sometimes I am genuinely surprised at how overwhelmingly busy work can be.  Sometimes I look at the clock and it's 3 pm and it feels like it should be 10 am and I am slightly panicked about how much I still need to accomplish before the end of my day.  I never end my day having accomplished everything I set out to do in the morning.  My job will always have a never ending task list that I will never actually reach the end of.  I  have accepted that but it does make my brain a little crazy.

Once I leave work I generally probably have some sort of school work I should attend to.  If it's not reading it's a paper, or articles, or presentations or a test.  You get the idea.  I read and write all day at work and then I read an write at home and if I have free time I am always trying to squeeze in either more reading that is also in relation to school and I feel will just help me be a better counselor OR I collapse on the couch and stare at The Real Housewives of Orange County for a hour while my brain does almost nothing.

It feels like I am either in full academic/psychology/behavioral health mode or my brain needs to completely escape.  And this is frequently a problem.  Because I find that my brain does not want to turn off.  Sometimes I literally cannot sit still for a whole episode of the Housewives just because my brain is still too engaged.

My other thing I have been experiencing lately is this feeling that this schedule is relentless and never ending.  Sometimes it really doesn't seem there will ever be a time in my life again that will involve free time of the sort of would like to find.  Or vacations.  I can't find the time to do so many things I would like to do because at least for the next year and 1/2, the time to do those things just doesn't exist.  I know I will get through it.

Saving my mind right now is Duo Lingo.

What the heck is Duolingo you may ask.  Well it's a phone app on which you can practice language skills in several other languages and the best part is, it's free.  

I learned some french in high school and college but I have never been proficient.  I LOOOOOOOVE this app.  When my brain can't turn off I just flip open this app and start practicing French and feel myself just completely in some sort of fantastic zen space.  Sometimes I can't stop and I have to force myself to move on to other tasks.  My french is getting so much better.  Yesterday on NPR there was a press conference in french which they translated - but I understood well over 50% of it before the translation.  It's awesome.  

If you want to brush up on a language you once kinda sorta learned a little of or if you want to learn one you've never tried I highly recommend it. It's like playing a video game but it's not a waste of time. 

Also.  I really want to go to France when I have a different situation wherein I can actually leave my house for an extended vacation at some point in the future.  My goal is to go the year I turn 50.  So learning French better feels like it is increasing my likelihood of having a better vacation. 

Which brings me to my one other sanity saver which I've discussed before.  Pinterest images of the places I'd like to go in France. 

Provence

French Riviera

Monmartre

Cannes

Neptune Fountain - Versailles

French Riviera

Provence 

Versailles

Burgundy

  

But for now it's back to two papers I need to write.

In My Opinion - Best Movies of 2012

This is my list of the best movies I saw in 2012.  I will warn you my standards are pretty high.  And weird compared to the average person from what I can gather.  And quirky.  And prone to the disdain of many.  But I stand firmly behind my choices.

I  L O V E a good movie.  Movies are myth and truth.  Movies can be a narrative therapy.  Movies can be art when they strive for it.

Admittedly, sometimes, movies can just be fun.  To make my list you better be either really good, really thought provoking, really funny, really transcendent or some fantastic combination of those traits.

I'm a little snobby about my feelings about film.  I'm not snobby about much in my life, so I allow it in this one area.  The people I like best in life tend to like the same movies I do, or at least quite a lot of them.  Maybe that's a bad way to choose friends.  I mean, I sorta know it is.  Because I do have friends who really aren't feeling my movies sometimes.  So I'll allow that there are people who I dig who don't dig my movies.  BUT...generally speaking people who like some of my favorite movies always end up being some of my favorite people.  It's like you can communicate in a sort of shorthand.

Anyway,

2012's best according to me:

This Must Be The Place

I seriously loved this movie. Sean Penn is his usual genius at inhabiting a character and bringing them to life. The story is equal parts quirky and brilliant, contemplative and life-affirming, funny and serious. The photography is gorgeous. And it's a rare occasion that you can watch an Italian, French, Irish film made largely in the U.S. It's kind of miraculous how well it works. It could have been a disaster. But it's the opposite. This is probably my all time favorite of the year.





Take This Waltz

A magnificent though heartbreaking depiction of the illusory and illusive nature of relationships.  Probably the best, most realistic portrayal of how we complicate and over-value and under-value all the wrong things most of the time.  Brilliant acting.  The whole movie resonated with me.  Emotionally draining at times, but ultimately, fantastic I think.  If there is a movie that hits home with the message of why you should make a marriage work if you can, I think this is it.  

Jiro Dreams of Sushi

The whole premise of this sounds so boring. Who would watch an entire documentary on a guy making sushi? But it's completely compelling. Obsession on this level is art. The dedication to craft is both admirable and mesmerizing. I loved every moment of this.











Robot and Frank

Both equal parts tragic and sweet, this movie explores themes of aging, loss, and the tenacity of the human spirit.  It celebrates the individual and has asks some important questions about isolation and technology.  But it's also just a super great premise for a movie.  

The Queen of Versailles

What could be more delicious than a peek inside this insane life? Excellent and surprisingly thought provoking. These people attempted to build the largest house in the United States of America modeled on the Palace of Versailles, only to find themselves in the middle of the financial crisis. I admit a huge part of it's appeal is a big fat dose of schadenfreude. Which I enjoyed immensely. But it works on many levels. It asks a lot of important questions about wealth, class, and excess. Even in the midst of what looks like is going to be their tragic ruin and demise, just when you start to feel sorry for them, they say something that makes you question whether you really should.









Headhunters

The best thriller I've seen in years. Completely engaging, psychologically stimulating, tense, and intelligent. Too bad it's foreign because most people I know won't see it because of the subtitles. But they should.

Moonrise Kingdom

Moonrise Kingdom is further proof of the excellent talents of Wes Anderson. Here Anderson provides us with a peek into a summer for precocious and odd children, with ample time, fantastical 1960s set decor, and masterful storytelling. We watch rapt and smiling wryly while we take this kooky little journey with them. Quotable, likable, funny and heartfelt without being treacly. What more can you ask for?

Safety Not Guaranteed

Loved everything abou it, including one of the best endings I've seen in a long time. Sometimes it's really fun to try to figure out if someone is really insane or if we are for losing some of our ability to believe.












Ruby Sparks










A romantic comedy that manages to subvert the genre. Loved it. That's all I'm going to say, because I feel like everything else is a spoiler. (but watch the trailer and you'll understand more what it's about)










21 Jump Street






Holden bought this on the Apple TV.  I wasn't planning on seeing this because it didn't really seem like my kind of movie really.  But on a Saturday, avoiding my impending homework doom I decided to kill a couple of hours watching it before I settled in to a long essay.  I'm so glad I did.  I laughed.  and I laughed.  It was truly really funny.  Having watched the original 21 Jump Street with Johnny Depp is probably a bonus to making it seem sort of even funnier too, but it stands up on it's own.  I'm glad we own it.  












A Royal Affair






Gorgeous.  Sad.  And apparently very historically accurate.  This is probably a bit of history that you really know next to nothing about simply because we really don't tend to know a whole lot about Danish history.  Fantastic.  












17 Girls









This is based on a true story except it happened here in the United States.  Remember that?  When all those girls in that school were all getting pregnant on purpose?  I loved this french version of the story.  Setting it in France gives it a whole different feel.  It's about the stupidity of teens to be sure.  But also about how much we hope and dream when we are young.  And make stupid choices but for the best reasons sometimes.  It's sort of maddening to watch, and yet, you get it.  You understand what these girls are thinking even as you wish you could stop them.  And set on the french coast, it's a pretty little film as well.  There were some scenes in this movie that really made me remember exactly what it's like to be a teen in small town totally and completely beyond bored.  And why sometimes, that becomes fertile ground for poor decisions.




  










Enjoy!