Movies I Recommend

These are my top ten movies....sorta....I mean I do love all of these movies to a totally irrational degree. But there might be other movies I love almost as well. These are the ones that made the cut today. To read Shannon's movies or her take on my list please visit her blog tomorrow when we will have another blog there. And by the way if you go to rotten tomatoes and type in my movies, nothing got less than a 70% approval rating and most were between 90 and 100% (in fact two of my movies got a 100% proving I must have incredibly good taste). Mamma Mia only got a 52% - so that means that while 52% of the people liked Mamma Mia - 48% (that's almost every other person!) thought it was a rotten tomato. I'm just saying.





This is a classic 80s flick brought to us by the Fantasic Mr. John Hughes who was also responsible for 16 Candles, Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Some Kind of Wonderful, etc. All fabulous movies. But Pretty in Pink holds a special place in my heart. I soooo wanted to BE Molly Ringwald in that movie. And have Andrew McCarthy as my boyfriend. And drive a Carmen Ghia. And have Duckie as my best friend. And work in a record shop. And shop vintage clothes. And be the coolest person on the planet.

Favorite Quote from Pretty in Pink: "Blaine? Blaine? That’s not a name! That’s a major appliance!"




One of two movies on this list staring my boyfriend, Mr. John Cusack. Mr. Cusack has made a lot of great movies and I could do a whole top 10 list of just his movies (The Grifters, Max, Identity, Better Off Dead, The Sure Thing, Say Anything, Grosse Point Blank, True Colors and America's Sweethearts) but if only two of his movies can make it on to this list then Grosse Point Blank has to be one of them. Any movie that I constantly quote in my life and my 18 year old quotes constantly is a totally cool movie (also because my son is really smart he thinks this is the best movie ever as well). This movie is smart and funny and hip and self-aware and all of the things a great 90s movie with 80s nostaligia should be. If you haven't seen it, you have no idea!

Quote:

Marty: I'm a professional killer.
Paul: Do you have to do postgraduate work for that?




I sometimes really love foreign films. There's something so great about watching a film in a language that you don't speak and spending the first 5 or 10 minutes reading the subtitles and then getting all the way to the end of the movie and realizing that you did not read any subtitles at all...or did you? Yeah, you did, but the movie was so great you got totally caught up in it and you thought you were understanding french for a full 2 hours. This is that kind of movie. And it's sooo beautiful, it's almost heartbreaking. Everything is rich greens and oranges and reds and yellows. Warm Warm Warm. And the character of Amelie is so engaging and innocent and wonderful. It's absolutely lovely. A movie to restore your hope in humanity.

Quote: These are hard times for dreamers.






Say Anything. This movie gets 100% on Rotten Tomatoes for good reason. NO ONE doesn't like this movie. I happen to love it. Talk about restoring hope in humanity the entire subtext of this movie is that love makes the world go round, everything works out in the end, good conquers all, etc. etc. But it does it in the totally charming and not syrupy and non-saccharine way that doesn't make you want to stab your eyes out while you're watching it. It makes you want to fall in love and stay that way. Get a cool boyfriend like Lloyd Dobbler and have a happy life forever. I married my Lloyd Dobbler so there you go. (AND Kirk used to dress like Lloyd too so there's that whole trench coat thing with the punk tshirts...which is why I still like it when he wears his CLASH shirt, but I digress)

Favorite Quote (and Lloyd is infinitely quotable too):
Lloyd Dobler: I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.





This one is kind of obscure. Not very many people saw it...it came out in the mid 80s and it's a love story with Meryl Streep and Robert DiNero. I have to say I thought it was very romantic but also very realistic. There are some of the most incredibly romantic and heart-pulling scenes where you are so angst ridden about what is going on with this movie you're just pulling for these people with all your heart while worrying about them at the same time and maybe just as unsure as they are about what is going on and whether it should be going on or not. I love this movie because it makes me feel something everytime. And oddly, always leaves me happy, though it's not sappy at all. That's a hard trick to pull off.

Not a real "quote" type of movie. In fact, it's kind of quiet and it's one of the things I love about it.





Uhhh....speaking of obscure....Christ Stopped at Eboli is pretty darned obscure. I saw it at BYU on campus at the French and Italian Cinema Series during the summer of 1987. I loved it so much I went back three more times that week and sat through it for 3 hours each time (it's a long movie). It's beautiful and moving and sad and thoughtful and I just couldn't watch it enough times. Christ stopped at Eboli is about a painter who is also a surgeon who is exhiled to a small village in the mountains of Italy after he is exposed as a anti-fascist. The title refers to the Italians saying that even Christ never ventured further up the road than Eboli, which is the last town of "civilization" - the town the painter is exiled to is past Eboli. Again, you'll think you learned to speak Italian and you'll leave the movie feeling you'd like to visit Italy again and again.





Another foreign film. This one is Swedish. Kurt Vonnegut is quoted as saying "My Life as a Dog" is my favorite movie. Any movie that Vonnegut says is his favorite has to be pretty awesome. And it IS. It's a coming of age drama - if I tell you it's about a little boy who's mom is dying of cancer and he has to go off and live with relatives in another part of Sweden - that's not going to make you want to go see it, is it? Yeah, I didn't think so but you SHOULD see it anyway. Just take my word for it. It's little gem of a film. Honest.

No quotes because I don't speak Swedish (well, I know a girl is a "Flicka" and I can count to 20 but one of my best friends in elementary school had a bi-lingual home I spent a lot of time in and her mom's first language was swedish...but that doesn't help much in this case)



This movie is perfection. I love Sophia Coppola's movies. Scarlet Johanssen and Bill Murry fall in love while they are both in Japan. Except their love is completely innocent and never fully realized. But it's so great to watch it happen. Sophia's movies tend to be kind of quiet too - I guess I really like that feel in a movie where it's slow and quiet and contemplative. To be honest, I've met people who don't really like this movie. But I don't get it. I think they must have watched the first 10 minutes, didn't get it right away and lost patience. Stick it out to minute 15 and I swear you'll love it.





Muriels Wedding. An Australian movie so no subtitles to bother with - this is the movie that Mamma Mia wanted to be and couldn't even approach becoming. This movie used ABBA's songs as a logical plot point of the movie. You root so hard for Muriel the whole time and there's the whole happy ending thing except maybe not the happy ending you were planning on but even better thing going on. LOVE it.


The Graduate is a totally classic and awesome movie about adult onset angst. Benjamin is every one of us who wondered why were in such a hurry to become an adult. The Simon and Garfunkle soundtrack is simply awesome and you can never tire of watching this movie. Plus there's a boatload of symbolism here courtesy of director Mike Nichols. I notice something new everytime I watch it. Totally quotable too.

Fave Quote: Mr. Braddock: Ben, what are you doing?
Benjamin: Well, I would say that I'm just drifting. Here in the pool.
Mr. Braddock: Why?
Benjamin: Well, it's very comfortable just to drift here.

House Beautiful

Lately I've been looking through a lot of interior/exterior design magazines for inspiration. We're getting ready to do some new design options with the backyard sometime in the next 5 or 6 months and I have to spend a lot of time thinking about something before I can commit to it. Sometimes all the options are a bit overwhelming to me.

So I've been reading Domino and House Beautiful and Phoenix Magazine, etc. looking for ideas.

And it's making me sort of irritated with my own house.

There are times when I like what I've done with the house and times when I think it looks good, and other times when I feel frustrated with it.

Does your house look like these photos?


Neither does mine.

But I'd like it to -

I kind of feel like I'm a little tiny bit part way to it looking good and then...it just doesn't quite measure up.

I walked around the house today with my camera and tried to just look through the lens objectively - like if you were taking photos of your house to submit to a magazine how would it really look?

The results were not good. I didn't even take any of the photos because it was kind of disheartening.

But I think it's a good idea. It really helps you to see things more objectively, more like someone who's never been to your house before probably sees it.

So that's my plan - try to approximate something more like the rooms I love in these magazines and less like what I've currently got going on. I think more than anything it's a lack of structure and organization within my rooms. So my goal for the next 7 days is to take one room at a time, photograph it objectively and then try to fix the problems. I'll try to upload the photos here and see if I can make some progress...anybody want to join in the fun? Come on Shannon...aren't you at least game?

As I near my "Break"

Soon I get to go on nearly a month long break on the diet. It will be nice to go back on in September and see the loss speed up again for a while (It has a tendency to slow down over time as I near the end of four months on the diet)

Thanks for all the support from every friend who has said nice things, done nice things, encouraged me on this diet and eaten at whatever restaurant I suggested (I've been a bit of a control freak on this diet in that way I suppose making everyone cater to my whim).

Thanks also to Kirk for being really great about everything.

The other day we were getting ready to go somewhere and he was very complimentary and nice about the loss and he said one of the nicest things he ever could have said - he told me he knew I wanted to lose more and that he was supportive of whatever I wanted to do - but that he wanted me to know that I looked great and he didn't care if I lost another pound because I already looked really good.

I am not a thin girl yet. In fact, many people would look at me and say "she could stand to lose a few pounds". But it's so nice to be married to guy who loves me no matter what. And maybe that's been part of what has made this easier for me. So thanks.

If you want to hear me rambling on about the food and the diet, etc. you can always check the food blog HERE - but this is just to say Thanks to everyone for helping me get to this point.

I appreciate it!

I am not a "Conservative"

I am a bit of a political junky. Sometimes I grow weary of it all and leave on the backshelf for a few days.

Yesterday a friend forwarded an email which is part of an attack campaign on Obama. He forwarded it to give me an idea of what kind of crazy things are being said. Many people we know from church are conservative (the friend in question is a bit more of a libertarian than anything) - and many times there are emails flying all over the place back and forth regarding such things that we never get (usually, people know better than to send them to us). Sometimes one slips past because a well meaning church member didn't get the memo. Mostly, I am glad I do not see these emails.

The emails themselves are disheartening - usually they are such thinly hobbled together pieces of nonesense it is difficult to understand why people would outright believe them. But the more disheartening aspect of it for me is to see that long list of people who are forwarding and being forwarded these emails. People I respect and like sometimes.

I grew up in a conservative home. I understand the positions very well. I understand and agree with the idea that everyone has a right to ponder the the big political questions and make their own decisions. It's one of the things I like about this country.

Do you know how many negative emails I get from fellow democrats/liberals which attack conservatives?

Zero.

I am on all kinds of email lists with liberal organizations that I think are important. I have friends and relatives who are also Democrat. We simply do not waste time on such things.

I'm not saying they don't exist...maybe they do...but I've never seen them.

By all means let's examine the issues on both sides, let's follow some sort of logic, let's find out the facts.

But I really hope that people do not make choices based on fear and misrepresentation. I really hope that is not what the political debate in this country has evolved into. If you get an email claiming all kinds of outrageous things, please check it out at www.factcheck.org They do a really good job of examining chain emails as well as television ads for the "facts".

Happy Birthday To Me...

Happy














Birthday




To Me!



We ended up getting the tickets and going to Eddie Izzard at the Orpheum last night.

It was Awesome!

I adore him, it was the perfect birthday present.

Share the Fantasy of Chanel No. 5

Shannon and I just returned from a quick trip to Disneyland with our youngest children. It was kind of spur of the moment and just a two night - one day at Disney and a few hours at the beach kind of trip. It was fun and the kids had a good time. Here is a photo of the three of them in line for the Haunted Mansion:


(I'm having some problems with these photos, they look fine on one monitor but not on the other)

But the surprising aspect of the trip for me was the time spent at the pool in the middle of the Disneyland day. We ended up going on all the big rides several times before 2 pm and had time to go back to the hotel across the street and relax for a little bit. I ended up taking the kids out to the pool for awhile.

Remember a while ago I posted that old Chanel no. 5 commercial on here? That's what my time at the pool felt like. Perfect Sun. Perfect Pool Temperature. Perfect Clear Blue Water.

I'm such a sucker for those Chanel no. 5 commercial "I am made of blue sky and golden light, and I will feel this way forever...Share the Fantasy." When I was a kid a would come running from the other room when I heard that commercial start. Possibly because I lived in the frozen tundra of Idaho and the idea of sunbathing was so very appealing.

I loved the silly St. Tropez Ban De Soliel commercials. That idea of being dark, dark, tan. I know it's wrong and all but I still have a hard time letting go of that idea. Because the sun just feels so darn good on my skin and I like being tan dang it.

Anyway - it was just a fabulous day by the pool. I almost had more fun being at the pool than going to Disneyland - I mean, you can't really compare those two things but the pool was awesome. Even though I have a pool, I can't just go out there and sit by it whenever I feel reading my Vogue magazine like I was in California. Because I end up feeling lazy and I end up worrying about other stuff that's not getting done.

So that's my idea of a perfect day - at the pool, perfect weather, just hot enough to want to get in the water, but not too hot, Hawaiian Tropic suntan lotion, and a Diet coke with a magazine.

This & That

Silly internet quizes are fun to take sometimes - iamboymom had one our her blog asking what type of coffee you are - sorta hard to take when you don't drink coffee (though I just inserted my ideas about good hot chocolate in there instead in order to take the quiz). Apparently I am Capuccino

You Are a Cappuccino

You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new. However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like. You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation. You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please

What Kind of Coffee Girl Are You?

Also....

apparently I'm also a brownie cheesecake (which sounds delicious)...but apparently means I'm hedonistic....

You Are a Brownie Cheesecake

A little chunky and a little gooey, you pretty much run on sugar! You take hedonism to the extreme.. And people love you for it.

What Kind of Cheesecake Are You?

And as long as we're on the subject of food and cakes, here's this quiz

You Are a Red Velvet Cake

Rich, decadent, and sensual. You have a deep appeal that transcends all trends. You are the definition of passion: intense, adventurous, and seductive.

What Kind of Cake Are You?

I did not take the quiz that asked "are you a good cook?" I mean, let's don't be silly, either you are or your aren't but a quiz isn't going to be able to tell you.

I do however, take this quiz very, very seriously:

You Are More Like Angelina Jolie

Bad girl with a heart of gold. You are smart, sexy, and strong willed. You aren't against stealing another girl's man... If he's better off with you!

Are You More Like Jennifer or Angelina?

[in all fairness to Angelina and to me, I think the quiz is a little unfair and makes Angelina sound like a jerk...I won't go around stealing anyone's husband but I would rather look like Ms. Jolie]

Also:

Shando updated her blog and you can find out about her past 20 or so years HERE

And, thank you to the nice comments from unknown internet users (and the girl I found accidentally) I really am planning on getting back to you but I'm a bit distracted lately with multiple things (this is just me wasting time while I should be working!)

Factoids

I'm calling it factoids but I recently found out 'factoid' means a false 'fact' and not a tid bit of information like I thought it was...

Nevertheless (I totally saw this on someone else's blog and thought it might make a good blog):

My life, in a nutshell

20 years ago I was:
1. 21 years old, and a biscuit away from being engaged (aug of that year)
2. Going to school at BYU and writing to my missionary who was coming home in July
3. Miraculously, not working and managing to survive nonethess (thanks mom & dad)

10 years ago I was:
1. 31 years old with a bunch of kids (8 yr old, 3 yr old & 1 yr old)
2. A biscuit away from buying our house (October)
3. I met Shannon around this time (well, met her sooner than this but became good friends)

5 years ago I was:
1. Had a 13 year old boy and that was NOT fun.
2. Kirk was still the Bishop
3. The rest is a blur

3 years ago I was:
1. All our home remodeling was finally finished!
2. We went to Scotland with Holden which was soooooo great. So glad we did that.
3. Again, a bit blurry

1 year ago I was:
1. Going crazy flying back and forth to Provo every week to go to my classes at BYU.
2. Worrying a lot.
3. I think I had a hang-nail somewhere in there too.

This year so far I have:
1. Lost 60+lbs
2. Taken more classes towards my degree
3. Really enjoyed my kids

Yesterday I:
1. Lost 1/2 a pound
2. Missed Kirk while he is in Florida, but enjoyed not worrying about making dinner
3. Drove my kids around all day as per usual

Today I will:
1. Go to the swim meet and help run the concessions with Shan
2. Drive my kids around as per usual
3. Drink a lot of liquid

Tomorrow I will:
1. Go to Salon Sandoval and get my hair cut & colored (my favorite thing in the world)
2. Eat lunch afterwards with Shannon maybe at Pita Jungle where I will have the salmon
3. Go to Last Chance

In the next year I will:
1. Be a lot thinner
2. Finish more classes at BYU
3. Try to be happy for my 18 year old rather than sad that he is leaving home for college (I'm going to miss him like crazy but I am trying to be POSITIVE)

So I'm tagging Suzanne, Cynthia (otherwise known as Ms. Hale), Shando (hmmm...wonder who will write that?), Geri and anyone else who wants to give a whirl.

Birthday Wishes...Eddie Izzard

I totally love Eddie Izzard. I told Kirk I wanted tickets for my birthday. So Kirk said "go ahead and get them". Then I sort of balked at the price. They are between $180-400 per ticket. And I'm not saying they aren't worth it. But I have never paid those kind of prices for tickets to anything. The most I've ever paid is $215 for baseball tickets. But that's the thing - I like Eddie Izzard way, way more than baseball. Thoughts?

(if you're unfamiliar with this brilliant man, here are some clips to enjoy)










And finally a tribute: Love this:




warning, might be a tad bit of *language* in the above clips

Announcing A Fabulous Sale

Most of you know that Kirk and I collect art. We started collecting at Art One in Scottsdale because they are new and emerging artist's and there are great deals to be had. One of the things I love about discovering an artist there is that you can fall in love with something that's probably cheaper than a poster you could get framed at Michaels - and it will be far more meaningful to you and have a creative energy about it that will never exist in any reproduction or print you would buy in a store.


(our latest painting by Melanie Corradi, titled "girl" which we absolutely adore at top)


We've made some pretty decent choices over the years too - one of our favorite Artists is Brian Boner and Brian has now moved on to being represented by the Wilde Meyer Gallery (which also resulted in almost doubling the price of his work, and thereby, the value of some of our paintings). We've had some other similar good luck with some of the other artist's we've chosen. Even Brennan bought a painting for around $75 (on sale) one day and now that artist has moved on to another gallery, at triple her old prices.

So if any of you are even thinking of beginning a collection now is the time. Kraig at Art One is struggling a bit right now. During the booming economic times people had money to spare and they were spending it on art. Right now is a down time for the gallery. And summer is the worst - because often the people with money to spend go away for the summer. Kraig has pulled all his old inventory from the back rooms and in addition, has a lot of donated pieces from his artists. Some of his former artists have moved on to expensive Santa Fe galleries as well as museums, but they have still donated a few peices to keep him afloat this summer. We picked up a new painting yesterday for an absolute song because it was a donated piece. We paid about 1/4 of it's actual worth. He has things there right now for
as cheap as $30! Brennan decided to add to his collection yesterday and picked up a cool encaustic for $30. So if you've ever thought about it, go check it out, the gallery is full to the brim with cool stuff and most of it is not on the website. On a lot of the stuff you can just make him an offer. Last week you could have picked up a Steve Yazzie painting for 1/10 of the cost (though of course that was snatched up immediately)!

Here's an idea of some of the great things at the gallery, and these are not even the bargains! (though still a GREAT price).




By an artist we adore - Aaron Dunham, a totally nice guy and local artist - he did the two metal pieces in front of our house, as well as the benches - these are steel and enamel. Very cool between $300 and $1000.


















Lydell Palermo has all these great bold candy colors right now - she has these hot pink panels I love (though I might have a hard time talking Kirk into them) - great abstracts for around $300










Erik Lyon is a super talented artist who spent a lot of time in South America sketching people on public transportation with amazing precision and feeling. This is a great sketch of downtown Phoenix. Almost all of his work is between $100 and $300.







Anthony Zeh has been with Art One for quite a while and only recently began doing these high energy abstraktions (his spelling). They really are so fun - I have two of them and I love the depth of color and complexity. Such a bargain too between $300 and $100 for most of them.
















Tom Stephenson is one of the best airbrush artist's around. He does a lot of work on motorcycle airbrushing. His amazing paintings are all done free hand with no stencils or pre-sketching. This great piece on glass is only $300.


















Kirk and I have not managed to get anything by this artist yet but we both really like her. Her name is Stephanie Bucholz she does both landscape and people with these interesting dark colors she somehow manages to keep the mood light in her paintings, which is very hard to do. Someday we will buy one of hers - this one called "personal Las Vegas" is $600. I guarantee Stephanie's prices will go up, up in the future.














Also I'll put in a little plug for Holden, Kraig is letting him have a little show of some of his artwork this month. He's been working in spray paint and has some pretty cool stencil work as well as free hand paintings and sculpture. He has about 6 pieces in a show.

Art One is located on Marshall Way just North of Indian School in Old Town Scottsdale.

Happy 4th

I hope everyone has a great 4th of July weekend.

There was a fascinating discussion today on NPR as to what consitutes patriotism or how to define oneself as a patriot.

The simple Websters definition of a patriot is: "one who loves or defends his own country".

Of course life is more nuanced sometimes than a simple defintion, as the discussion on Diane Rheem's show expressed.

I know for me, it's very nuanced. But I can definitely say that I fit under that definition of a Patriot.

I believe in the principles the country was founded on. Living in Virginia for 3 years in Thomas Jefferson's home town gave me a massive appreciation of so many things that happened at the genesis of our country. Plus I learned to greatly admire Jefferson. What a truly fascinating man.

So anyway - Happy 4th! And let's hope for good things for our country's future.

ps - Shando wants me to mention her blog has been updated by Pat: HERE

pss - to read about my encounter with a jerky 20 year old kid read: HERE

Things I bought that I really, really dig...

I'm not a huge shopper, but a couple of things I bought lately are just too good to pass up, and too good not to pass along to my friends.


"The Immortelle flower defies aging - it never wilts or withers, even after being picked. Microcapsule technology concentrates hand-harvested essential oil of Immortelle, which grows in the sunny Mediterranean island of Corsica, in a formula that helps to boost microcirculation and increase collagen synthesis. A velvety, patented-ingredient moisturizer with proven wrinkle-reducing benefits."

Does that totally make you want to buy it? It should, besides it smells delicious and it really works fabulously. Doesn't the gorgeous little cobalt jar just say "buy me, buy me, buy me?".

Besides it's called "Immortelle" - I mean really, what more can you ask for. It's a little $52 jar of goodness that will make you happy.


Salt Water Sandals

Do you love them or what ? I have them in yellow, red and hot pink and I am contemplating buying them in brown and white - or maybe I need all the colors including the minty green.

I can't say enough.

The product description states: "Called the "Salt Water" Sandals because they stand up even in salt water. Flexible, high grade sole and heavy, durable leather straps for easy-going comfort and long wear."

Okay they need to hire a new copy writer because that is so boring and doesn't at all live up to the awsomeness of the sandal. Let me give a better description a whirl:

"The salt water sandal is total retro-cool. Uber comfort, and perfect for a day at the beach, around the pool and just because. You'll want them in every color. And doesn't someone hip like you deserve footwear that is equal parts urban and understated trend setter? Thought so."

You'll especially adore the price at between $28 and $35!



How cool and cute are these? The woman who makes them is an artist from Prescott. She swirls hot glass at 1700 degrees to make this jewelry she cleverly calls "eye candy".



I got the earrings this weekend and I totally already wish I had a lot more. Wish I had the necklace and the bracelet too. And lots of colors. SO cute. And SO not expensive. And you're supporting a local artist. ALWAYS a good idea! (if you're interested you can order from her website at eyecandybychelsea.com (I think these would make great unique gifts too)!

Familia, Famiglia, Famille....

How many kids is too many and how do people decide?

I've been thinking lately about how this has evolved over time within the mormon community.

When I was growing up most families I knew had 4 or 5 kids. Four or 5 was kind of "normal" - 6 wasn't very weird and 7 wasn't even that big yet. You weren't officially a big family until you had 8. But eight wasn't enough to be a big deal. In my ward growing up we had the Evan's family who had 11 kids and that was pretty big. But across the street from them was the Ferguson family and they had 18. So in my ward, anything under 18 was kind of ho-hum because the Ferguson's couldn't easily be topped.

We had 3. So we were kind of weirdos. The only other family with three was the Leathams and both Sister Leatham and my mom ended up having to adopt 2 of their 3 kids. Infertility was almost a mark of shame. My mom wanted more than 3 but it just wasn't in the cards.

On my street we had the Robison's next door with only 2 kids but they didn't really count because they really weren't very active in the church. So they were sort of considered heathan so that's why they only had two. Down my street we had the Neville's with 5 kids, the Smith's with 4, the Laddles with 4, the Peck's with 4, the Gallups with 5, and the Sessions with 6. Obviously the Robison's stood out in that crowd with their piddly two kids and we were just scraping above the point of garnering frowns from little old ladies with our 3. But everyone knew about the adoptions and the infertility, so it was forgiven.

My best friend had 5 kids in her family, and my other best friends had 5, 9, and 11 respectively.

Growing up I sort of envied all the sibling relationships and the sheer volume of people inhabiting their households. It seemed more exciting. Less boring, and more likely you could find a sibling or two who you really liked.

People didn't pray about how many children they were going to have. To my knowledge most people had the number of children they physically could have. There may have been exceptions. But I can say with certainty that at least among my friends families, every mom had the number of children she was capable of having. Birth control was sinful and that was that.

Sometime in my teens the tone on that topic changed. I specifically remember a talk in a general conference on the topic and it reallly stuck in my head that they were saying that the mothers mental health needed to be taken into consideration when having children. An exhausted and depressed mother is not really an effective mother.

As I got older, I realized that having 10 children, for me, would be crazy talk. I am somewhat impatient and not that type of person at all. Yet in some weird way growing up it had seemed like such a badge of honor to have a lot of children, that I had pretty much accepted that is what you were suppose to do if you could.

And I know people have their religious reasons sometimes why they think they should have a large family. But it never seemed to be about that to me - it seemed that it was just de rigeur.

By the time I got married in the late 80s, there were no more thoughts of having lots of kids for me. I knew I probably would never have more than 4 or 5 and I wasn't even sure about having that many.

I started talking a lot more with my friends who had come from those large families and you know what they all said? None of them wanted families as large as the ones they came from. My friend who came from the family with 11 kids talked about all the ways she felt ignored growing up as the 5th of 11. She talked about how no matter what she did to get attention, someone ahead of her had already done it. The lead in the school play? Your sister Rebecca did that two years ago. First chair in violin? You sister Kara did that 5 years ago. Lead soloist in the choir? Your sister Lanee did that 6 years ago. You won the award for best freshman artist? Ralph already did that. Everything she did earned her not much more than a pat on the head and sometimes not even that. She had a lot of resentment about it. When we were young I totally idealized her family. They seemed so perfect. But apparently, that was not how it felt growing up there.

I had a sense that how many kids I had were totally up to me. Well, me and my husband. It was our personal decision and no one else's. And I know where I got that idea - I got that idea from the church who told me under birth control in the Bishop's hand book (and on their website):

Birth Control

Children are one of the greatest blessings in life, and their birth into loving and nurturing families is central to God’s purposes for humanity. When husband and wife are physically able, they have the privilege and responsibility to bring children into the world and to nurture them. The decision of how many children to have and when to have them is a private matter for the husband and wife.

Notice it doesn't say anywhere there that you have to have as many children as you can. Notice also it says the number is a private matter for husband and wife. Now if you want to read further on that topic the church also says this:

God has a plan for the happiness of all who live on the earth, and the birth of children in loving families is central to His plan. The first commandment He gave to Adam and Eve was to “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). The scriptures declare, “Children are a heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Those who are physically able have the blessing, joy, and obligation to bear children and to raise a family. This blessing should not be postponed for selfish reasons.

Sexual relations within marriage are not only for the purpose of procreation, but also a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual ties between husband and wife.

Husband and wife are encouraged to pray and counsel together as they plan their families. Issues to consider include the physical and mental health of the mother and father and their capacity to provide the basic necessities of life for their children.

Decisions about birth control and the consequences of those decisions rest solely with each married couple. Elective abortion as a method of birth control, however, is contrary to the commandments of God.

Having children should not be delayed for shelfish reasons.

Husbands and wives are encouraged to pray and counsel together as they plan their families.

Sexual relations are not only for pro-creation but to strengthen marriage.

Issues which should be considered in planning children are health of the mother, emotional/mental health, and financial capabilities to provide.

Abortion should not be used as birth control. All other birth control is a private decision of the couple.

So I can be down with all of those thoughts and points. Wise thoughts. Good points.

But what is really weird to me is that after we moved to Arizona I kept hearing woman talk very weirdly about these decisions. One girl I knew said she wished she was done having kids but that Heavenly Father had not told her yet that she was done.

What?

Do we not have free agency? Did you not just say that you wish you were done? Does God not expect us to use our brains? I didn't know I needed some sort of revelation that I was done. Some sort of directive. What I thought I was suppose to do based on the information and advice given by my church leaders was to use my head, make a decision based on all the information available to me, make that decision in conjunction with my husband and then check in with God and let him know my thoughts - if he disagreed or wanted to tell me differently, then I guess he'd have something to say, otherwise it was my decision.

So that's what I did. And I never looked back. I always felt totally secure in that decision. It was right for me, it was right for my husband and I think it was right for my kids (though sometimes I wish Jordan had been a twin so she could entertain herself a bit more - but the upside is she and Brennan really do hang out a lot, which I don't think would have happened if she had a little sister or a sister her age). Basically I felt that I made a reasoned, thought through decision. I let God know what I thought. He and I talk everyday. He never disagreed with me so I thought that was that.

Still do.

So what is up with all the girls who think God will tell them when to stop? Why should God tell you that? I don't get it at all. And I guess if you really want to have a lot of kids, it's fine. But that's not what they say. They don't say "we really want to have a lot kids". That I can accept. It's not for me, but different strokes for different folks. I'm very laissez-faire about having much of opinion about other people's choices. What drives me insane is that they don't say that at all - what they say is "we are going to keep having them until heavenly father tells us to stop".

Doesn't the fact that you are saying that indicate to Heavenly Father that you're willing to have more kids?

I guess I'm a bigger believer in free will than some people.

I'm not really kidding about that either. I really think that I should make decisions and then consult God. Not the other way around.

There have definitely been times when God has had to step in with me and say "that's a bad idea". And when he does, I totally listen.

Anyway, lately, I'm really grateful I had 3. The perfect number for me.

Fifty is Nifty

Get your own graph at skinnyr

I'm pretty happy about this - I'll include more thoughts and info on the weight loss blog.

What Happens In Vegas Stays in Vegas

Except when you are a mormon mother, I'm not sure anything happens in Vegas that needs to stay in Vegas.  It's all pretty much above board fun.

Shannon and I have been going to Vegas for quite a while, though it has been YEARS since we have been able to get away.  I don't even know the reasons - kids, school, busy schedules...

So for one of my rewards

 on this diet I asked for a trip to Vegas with Shannon.  

I love going to Vegas with Kirk but that's  a whole different trip - Kirk does NOT want to spend the day in the spa.  

Here are some photos of us in Vegas and to hear m

ore about our adventures there you can mosey on over to the Shando blog.  

(this is the view from our room - we stayed at the Luxor this time so this is a view of Excalibur next door - we started out in a different room which had a view of the pool but which also had a leaking ceiling - or at least it had been leaking at some frequent rainy past - and stains on the window sill and general dreariness.  On vacations where something like this happens I am glad to be with Shannon because she has no problem calling up and telling the hotel staff how wildly inappropriate our acomodations are and that we would please like a different room - then she proceeds to let them know in great detail every possible problem until they relent and give us not only a different room, but an upgraded room - so we ended up in the new tower in a more expensive room with this view)

(this is me at the pool at the Luxor - see my smile, that is the smile of a woman who does not have to worry about feeding anyone, cleaning up after anyone, driving anyone anywhere, etc. etc.  basically this is me when I am totally relaxed which only happens on vacation)

(here we are in our room right before we left to go to "O" at the Belaggio - We took about 20 photos to try to get this because we are not teenage girls who take photos of ourselves all the time and kept not managing to get ourselves in frame - then we had to take it over multiple times because Shannon felt her skin was not quite taut and youthful enough so in this one she is simulating a taut face, but it mostly ends up looking like she is strangling herself - this is the only photo she will let me have here though I took several others of her but apparently her lipstick was too pink and her hair was not the proper shad of auburn and a plethora of other concerns and complaints so we should feel lucky that we get this one here to prove she was on the trip and I am not totally making that part up)

And basically the trip was fabulous - we ate yummy steak and chicken at the Bellaggio, spent almost a full day at the spa (more on that in the Shando blog) sat by the pool, walked down the strip, went to the movie, read our books and magazines and....okay I'll admit, played the penny slots for a while (look, I can't help it, I'm incredibly lucky, I almost never lose - I ended up ahead 50 dollars by the time we left vegas and all playing penny or nickel slots - if you think that's shocking or sinful.....I kindasorta respectfully disagree)