Bandanamom

Brad Goreski - Putting the Rad in Brad

2012-02-01T13:09:00.000-08:00

I'm not a newcomer to my love of Brad Goreski. I've been hearting on him since his first season on Rachel Zoe. I like watching Rachel's show but it suffered from a serious lack of Brad this past season.

Brad is like every great thing about boys and fashion all wrapped up into one little cute package. He's adorable and irresistible. Honestly, find me someone who can resist the charms of this guy, because if you can find me that person, I'll show you a horrible mean ogre.

Brad seems like a genuinely nice boy. In that especially specific Canadian kind of way that he has about him. Like he's totally fabulous and totally normal - except totally not - all at the same time.

He someone manages to combine the retro vibe of a by-gone era while embracing a certain 80s moment and at the same time bringing us solidly into what is NOW in 2012 and beyond.

Look, I don't know what it is about me that I am drawn to these characters. But they make me happy. Brad's show on Bravo makes me happy - but more than that, just seeing him out and about in his loud happy bright colors makes me happy too.

I almost embarrass myself with my embrace of such things.

I'm a 44 yr old mother of 3 with lots of stuff on my plate to think about besides Brad Goreski.

But you know,

That's never really stopped me from being an embracer of silly things, and appreciating them immensely.

if you're not watching Brad on it's a BRAD BRAD WORLD on Bravo, you should maybe check it out.

What is Transitional Design & Decor?

2012-01-28T19:52:00.000-08:00

Transitional Design & Decor is kind of new concept in design. It basically combines elements of old and new to create a classic, yet contemporary feel. Some people are drawn to this design without even realizing they are doing it. Lines are often clean, paint colors are usually a little more subdued, but pops of color are not unusual. Often you'll see wood elements combined with metals and glass. There's always a nice mixture of soft and hard, with nice textures, and above all the look stays classy while being comfortable.

Here are some good examples of transitional rooms:

It's okay to buy yourself flowers!

2012-01-26T18:46:00.000-08:00

I remember growing up I had this sort of fantasy idea of people buying flowers. Like it was this really romantic thing. And I'm not saying it isn't - but sometimes we get stuck in these weird constructs that if we really analyze it, make no sense at all.

While it's true that it's very nice when someone buys or brings you flowers, it can be just as nice to strip flowers of that particular social/romantic/ meaning and just realize, they are flowers. They are a part of nature, they are beautiful, and they can be enjoyed rather inexpensively, almost any time we choose, and we don't have to wait until they are a gift from someone else.

In fact, they are probably one of the least expensive things we can do just to be nice to ourselves and our homes. A little gift, just for you. Put them in your bedroom or on your desk - somewhere that you'll enjoy them the most.

Consider learning a little more about floral arrangements so you can make them look great. Here are some super simple designs of flowers purchased easily in the grocery store. Right now a bunch of french tulips at Fresh and Easy are only $5.

If you're allergic, considering buying a bowl of beautiful fruit and putting it somewhere prominent. Unusual pears or apples in gorgeous colors!

I have little white roses outside in my year nearly year round and I like to put just a few in a small jar or teacup. You can also trim limbs from trees (especially when the orange and citrus are in blossom!), cut herbs from your garden, or use trimmings from bushes and plants like Lantana or Rosemary plants.

It's like a little sacrifice nature makes to make your world more beautiful. Enjoy!

The Cure (not the band though)

2012-01-23T05:24:00.000-08:00

Although I love the band The Cure, that's not what I'm talking about today. ;)

A few women at church are doing the "home cure" and I'm kind of leading the effort. Some of them have already started and some of them are starting soon.

Organized, calm, and clean, these are the characteristic traits of a happy household and a productive workspace. Our houses and apartments are far more than just a container for our things. Rather, our approach to home has everything to do with our approach to life. In some ways, curing our home, is also a means of curing our lives in significant ways.

I thought I would share a few links to some great videos done by Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan, the author of the Apt. Therapy Home Cure. He does a great job of giving you an overview of what a 20 min surface clean in a room should look like. (I think he's kind of adorable i this kind of hip indie sorta way)

Our 20 day home cure looks like this:

Day 1 Floor and Surface Clean one room Entirely

Day 2 Buy Flowers

Day 3 Sit for 10 minutes in a chair or in a spot you never sit in (or rarely do)

Day 4 Remove 1 item from your home and donate it

Day 5 Buy or replace a cleaner with an eco cleaner

Day 6 Floor and Surface Clean a different room than Day 1

Day 7 Buy or cut free Flowers

Day 8 Find a new recipe

Day 9 Cook your new recipe and have dinner at home

Day 10 Find inspiring images of homes and design ideas you love

Day 11 Floor and Surface Clean another room

Day 12 Buy or Cut free flowers

Day 13 Declutter your medicine cabinet

Day 14 Make a list of 6 needs for your home or goals

Day 15 Declutter your books and media - donate or take to re-sell

Day 16 Floor and Surface Clean one room

Day 17 Buy or cut flowers

Day 18 Go on a complete media fast (except in case of work)

Day 19 Consider your artwork - look for images of new work you’d like to own

Day 20 Take a long bath

IF you're interested in doing the home cure with me and want some of the materials I used in the class we had last week - send me a message and let me know and I'll be happy to get the packet of information to you.

This 20 day cure is a pre-cursor to a much longer 8 week project we're going to tackle later on.

Click here for the video link

Mad Men Interior Style

2012-01-20T13:37:00.000-08:00

So a long time ago I got started on watching Mad Men and then somehow - I got lost. And then because I never got caught up on it I didn't want to start DVR'ing and watching the more current episodes because I had missed too much earlier. But, my fabulous son gave me Apple TV for Christmas and since then I've been catching up on my missed seasons. And one thing that I love almost as much as I love the show itself is the design aspect of that show. The design is just absolutely impeccable. The interiors are so fabulous and the clothing is just to die for too. There are some impressive people working behind the scenes on that show.

One thing I think I've come to realize is that American Women's Obsession with Tufted Headboards probably comes from the bedroom of Don & Betty.

Go ahead and use these people as inspiration if you love mid century modern, you can't go wrong:

Feel free to go ahead and skip all the smoking though...isn't it crazy how much smoke there used to be in the world? I hardly remember it anymore but when I think back on being a little kid in the 60s and 70s I remember there sure was a lot of smoke out in public!

Now that's a POP of color!

2012-01-12T18:28:00.000-08:00

I'm kind of recently obsessed with pops of color.

Okay - admittedly, I'm always kind of big on color in general. But I love all the ways I see color being used in fashion and in decor lately.

But then I saw this new hotel in the Phoenix area and I it made me feel that if I could live there, I would assume I had died and gone to heaven. (In my heaven, there's loads of color).

And so, I present some gorgeous photos of this lovely new hotel in Scottsdale:

Maybe I can't live there, but I wouldn't mind visiting for a while.

You can check out their website here: THE SAGUARO

and while you there, their parent company has LOADS of other dreamy locations to check out with equally excellent offerings here: Joie De Vivre

a girl can always dream.

Pink - Not Just for Princess'

2012-01-09T16:25:00.000-08:00

So just because I'm trying to escape from the stress swirling around in my head today I decided to tackle some inspiration for a project that my daughter Jordan would really like to see me start. Her bedroom REALLY needs some attention. I've remodeled and re-done almost everything else in the house except her poor room, which is really just a hodge podge of things that really don't go together.

The poor child still has a platform bed from her early childhood (with a completely worn out mattress), a bright red desk, broken and broke down Ikea dresser which we tried to repair but can't actually be fixed because the brokenness is so extensive, old junky artwork that no longer works in the room, bad curtains which need to be replaced, a broken office chair that I meant to throw away but she retrieved from the curb, busted door mirror, my old cedar chest which is nice but matches nothing in the room, HORRIBLE AWFUL forest green carpet which has been there since we bought the house (the only room in the house to have original carpet actually), and a lot of mis-matchy stuff that does not work and way too much crap that we just need to donate or chuck (like I don't know, about a million stuffed animals she's not crazy about parting with). It just really doesn't work for her anymore and I would like her to have a nicer room for the rest of the few years she'll still be at home. And she's been very patient about waiting her turn to get a remodel.

So. She's decided she wants a SOPHISTICATED pink room. Here are some inspiration photos I found today.

I'll take some "before" photos soon and keep you posted. The project itself will probably take a while, as I'm trying to do it as inexpensively as possible.

I read, therefore I am

2012-01-06T15:20:00.000-08:00

My friend Suzanne introduced me to Goodreads a while ago - Maybe even a couple of years ago. I love it because it finally helps me organize my reading life. Before I would hear about some book that I wanted to read, but I wouldn't write it down and I would totally forget about it - there were even times when I would wander around a bookstore looking for something and not being at all sure about what I should choose. Goodreads has eliminated that problem from my life forever. It has a nice way of letting you keep track of your "to-read" which I randomly pick up from a multitude of places. NPR and National book reviews, the year end lists that many of the newspapers print, word of mouth, reviews of friends, Amazon's recommended reading - I can now keep track of all of these things in one tidy spot.

But this has created a new problem for me. It makes me think about my impending mortality.

I am not one to worry about aging and not one to worry much about dying either. It's never really been in my nature to be that person. And people that obsessively worry about those things bother me, mainly because I feel like they're sucking the joy out of living TODAY rather than worry so much about a day when they won't be living. Living in the now is good when it means learning to enjoy what is.

But last year I read 55 books. This seems like a lot to some people. It probably is. Part of this is being a single woman I can read in bed, which I could not do when I was married. And I've taken to carrying a book with me wherever I go. And I honestly prefer it over television most of the time. So it's not that hard for me to make room for about 50 books a year. But here's the problem - my "to read" list is now up to 248 books.

That's about 5 years in books.

And I keep adding them!

And I really don't like to think about that! For lots of reasons. It makes me question whether what I'm putting on the 'to read' shelf are really the absolute best choices I could be making. It makes me a little anxious to think about. And it makes me realize that no matter what I do - no matter how hard I try - I will never be able to finish every book on my Goodreads list before I die. No matter what I do I will die with some list of around 200 books that I never got to.

I told Holden this morning that I was obsessing about this a little, and he told me that when I die he will take the book I had at the top of my 'to read' list and he will tuck it into my coffin so I have something to read.

I liked the sentiment of that, even if it does entail me thinking about my eventual demise.

I guess I have to keep adding books to the list though, because now I have a sneaking suspicion that finishing my 'to read' list would result in instant death.

I hope there is room for reading in the after-life.

I can't imagine a happy existence without it.

*all book covers are book's I've YET to read!

Courtney Love's Demure Room

2012-01-05T14:04:00.000-08:00

One would never expect this room would be the living space of Courtney Love:

But it is.

Lovely blue...

INexpensive Art Options

2012-01-03T23:07:00.000-08:00

If you're not really in a position to buy an original piece of art - think about buying a unique print. Something everyone else doesn't have. There are a lot of great resources for prints and art online and you'll have something that you won't see all that often. I loved "Keep Calm & Carry On" until I started seeing it EVERYWHERE. There are tons of great options that no one you know probably has in their house.

Some Ideas:

This is Sweethearts by Jonathan Lewis available through 20x200.com for $50

There are these really great photographers online who sell their work super inexpensively - case in point this girl who has a website abbytrysagain.com - this print (and lots of other ethereal goodness) is available in original film prints for $7. $7 people! Amazing

From the website crashamerica.com you can find really gorgeous posters for touring ads of current and some older bands. The art work is excellent and none of the posters are more than $25. You might find your favorite band, or you can find something that just makes you feel cheeky displaying it on your wall. Like a vintage Butthole Surfer poster. Check it out.

Green with Envy, by the same woman who started the Keep Calm and Carry on craze. sfgirlbybay on Etsy - this print available for $16.

Art print by Lisa Congdon at Lisacongdon.com - available for only $35

Cool prints from Orkposters.com show a city in it's graphical neighborhoods. Super cool for $35

More cool band posters and other silk screened art at headsofstate.com - most about $35.

I love so many on this website, I'd have a really hard time choosing - and only $10.99! Theposterlist.com

Green Bird by Kareem Rizk - from thumbtack press.com - $49 on a stretched canvas frame.

Bring on 2012 - Color of the Year - Tangerine

2012-01-01T13:35:00.000-08:00

According to Pantone, the color of 2012 is predicted to be Tangerine. Which makes me happy and makes me think I'll like 2012 because that is one of my favorite colors (not to mention, favorite foods).

I'm looking forward to the new year. I have a new computer which makes it exponentially easier for me to post on the blog, as well as upload photos, etc. Technologically speaking my life is better by leaps and bounds than 2011. And I'm hopeful there will be lots of improvements in lots of areas.

To kick it off right, let's enjoy some Tangerine inspiration:

Best Books of 2011

2011-12-27T14:20:00.000-08:00

These are all the books who got a 5 star rating out of me in 2011:

(in no particular order)

1. White Tiger by Aravind Adiga

This is a completely unvarnished view of India. Two friends of mine lived in India for 2 years with their children and it reminded me of how she would often sigh and day "Oh India...", how they loved and were so frustrated with it at the same time. The main character is an admitted murderer from the outset of the story, but you spend the majority of the book trying to figure out the motivations and the particulars of the murder itself, which is not revealed until more than 3/4 of the way through the story. So that it places you in this interesting position of not being sure if you should sympathize with the character or not. In the end, I'm not sure if that conflict is really resolved. The book has 2 great things going for it - a very engaging plot, but also a dialogue about India itself that is very worthwhile and mind provoking. Some of the best fiction I read so far this year. There was something about this that just stuck with me - portions of it which I would think of off and on months later or ways in which complicated aspects of humanity were described which really struck me as being particularly astute - especially where culture is concerned.

2. Homicide by David Gregory

This is a very long and detailed book of non-fiction. At first I think I found it slightly daunting, and not as easy to delve into as a work of fiction. Just trying to keep all the various detectives straights seemed like a task. But then around 100 pages in - something happened. This book became better than fiction. Because it isn't fiction. It's real. And it has a sick poetry. A demented beauty that I could not put down. Almost literally, from 100 pages in, I carried this book with me everywhere. I read to the exclusion of other chores and tasks I should have accomplished - and I have devoured it and finished it and then found myself with that disappointed feeling a person has when the thing that they've devoted themselves to for a long time is suddenly over.

This book is a thing of beauty about some of the ugliest humanity has to offer.

3. Lit by Mary Karr

I've always liked Karr's writing. I think this may be her best yet. She writes beautifully composed sentences and expresses her thoughts with gorgeous language. It is likely her background as a poet which makes this so easy for her as compared to most memoirists. I loved this story. If her life is a trilogy - with Liar's Club and Cherry being parts I and II, here in part III we get the real pay off. An unfailingly honest portrayal of her life - she neither paints herself as better than she should nor worse - probably something only a person who has been through lots of therapy can do with such clarity. Some memoirs read like a sordid re-telling of events, some read as an accusation of those who surrounded them, hers reads like a personal triumph.

4. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier

Once I began this I could hardly put it down. In fact, I had to finish it - practically reading it straight through - so that I could accomplish something else with my life.

The genius of Rebecca is not so much in the prose itself - though at times, it can be quite lovely - the genius of Rebecca is in the plotting, pacing and exquisite ability du Maurier brings us a sense of place and time, as though we ourselves are the protagonist of the novel experiencing the sweet cut grass of Manderley ourselves, discovering the dusty abandoned cottage on the beach, walking with Jasper through the woods, and worrying over the cold glance of Mrs. Danvers.

The plot thickens and thickens much like when you stir a home made pudding on the stove - slowly at first, unsure of when it will finally turn into a pudding, but then gradually sensing how thick it is becoming until suddenly we have a bubbling delicious dessert. Rebecca is something to be enjoyed in all it's macabre and gothic glory.

*spoiler-ish alert*

I do wish for a different sort of ending for Max and his bride. I long for the story having a different twist and sudden happiness thrust upon them. But I believe the author gives us a fair compromise under the circumstances. A murder has been committed. We could not, in good conscience enjoy our "happy ending" under those auspices. No, instead, morality dictates we be content with what is.

*spoiler-ish alert ended*

I only wish I had read this as a younger girl - perhaps around the same time Jane Eyre enthralled me so. As it is, I enjoyed it very very much. But I think a younger version of myself would have been even more enchanted by the story of the Mrs. de Winters, Manderley and the gardens would have been all the more vivid, and Mrs. Danvers all the more sinister.

5. Bossypants by Tina Fey

Not since David Sedaris, has someone written a memoir style book so thoroughly entertaining and laugh out loud hilarious. I adored every minute of this and will definitely read it again. The chapter on her Dad is so perfect, I've read it aloud to anyone who will listen.

6. We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver

One of the most provacative and well-written novels I've read in a long time. Shriver's voice is uniquely dark, captivating and sharply brilliant. Her writing makes me envious. Her language is delicious. Her vocablary delectable. And her subject matter is complex and timely. Do we make monsters or are they born? Can we ever know for sure? There are usually two modes of thoughts on this nature vs. nurture debate. Three, if you count the folks who would rather take the ambiguous path of saying "both"..."maybe". The complications in trying to arrive at a conclusion to that question are immense and I don't mind not really having the answer, though the question endlessly fascinates me. I devoured this book in less than a day. Though we often say "I couldn't put it down" a rarely mean it with the ferocity to which I attended to this book. I'm sad it's over, if not relieved at the same time.

7. The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog: And other Stories by Bruce D. Perry

A fascinating read for anyone interested in psychology, particularly where the brain development and nurturing are involved. Perry presents some cases which help us understand better the ways in which humans develop into healthy people and what might happen when something goes awry with that process. More importantly though, he gives us a road map of practical remedies that have the potential to make a big difference when things don't go as planned in lives of children and their nurturing.

8. The Wilder Life by Wendy McClure

I loved this book. I always really enjoy Wendy's writing, so I knew I would like it, and the fact that I really loved Laura Ingalls Wilder when I was a kid - it was pretty much a given that I would enjoy this. But I was suprised at how touching I found Wendy's explorations of just why exactly, Laura became such a big part of my 70s childhood. Well that sounds weird, Wendy was exploring her own reasons for why Laura was such a big part of her childhood AND trying to figure out why this was still something she was carrying around in her heart. But I felt like Wendy was trying to figure this out for all of us, every one of us who cared about the Little House books, and maybe sort of the Laura and Mary from the tv show too. I discovered the books first, but later, because I did watch the TV show for several years, the whole thing became of a piece in my head. Wendy's writing is funny and deeply contemplative all at the same time. Sometimes I feel like Wendy is some long lost sister or something because she just thinks in ways that I relate to, and she can make me laugh. If you loved Little House or if you love Wendy, you love this book.

9. Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

Murakami has an incredible ability to pull me into a story and keep me entranced, even when, in the case of this book, the bare bones of the story are pretty spare. He has a way with mood and he has a way of making seemingly mundane things seem enchanting. As a meditation on love and it's various permutations, I thought this was lovely.

10. The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

I thoroughly enjoyed my time reading this rather long novel. Collins writes what is considered one of the most classic thriller stories of all time. The most enjoyable thing about this is that you're never quite sure what's going to happen next though you sort of see where it's going. I liked the device of having the different sections of the book written from differing perspectives - even sometimes marginal characters who make an interesting contribution to the arc. The characters are very interesting, especially the sinister Count Fosco who is quite complex. I also thought that rather surprisingly, the novel has quite a feminist perspective - though I am unsure how purposeful that was. I think one thing I liked most might be considered a draw back by some, which is the length of the novel - it is QUITE long - but I liked that I could read a few pages every night and feel like someone was telling me a complex and interesting bedtime story. Because on final analysis the story really isn't very realistic or believable, but that's rather besides the point. The fun is in the journey, and feeling like a kid again in rapt attention to a story that lets our imagination roam.

11. Little Bee by Chris Cleave

A really beautiful, though sad, and moving story. There were so many sentences and paragraphs in this book which I thought were gorgeously constructed. A great discussion book for a book club, there are a lot of great themes explored here. The story of a Nigerian girl who tries to immigrate to England after experiencing some extreme hardships in her own country. But really, the book is about so much more than that. I hesitate to describe it too much because I think the way it unfolds is important to preserve for the reader. Just know you'll be moved.

Best Films of 2011

2011-12-26T00:09:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess I should say the best films I saw - Here's my take on this years best, my top 10 in no particular order:

Thank you Kristen Wiig for making me laugh harder than I thought possible this summer. 4 times. YEP, I saw this 4 times. Once by myself and then 3 times dragging various folks I could talk into it along for the ride. Witty, twisted, with pathos and some moments of outright brilliance, I can't imagine how it could have been better.

2. The King's Speech (technically this came out last year but I didn't see it until after the first of the year)

Excellent, brilliant acting, beautifully written, wonderful story, which takes the time to be historically accurate. One of the best films I have seen in a really long time.

3. The Rabbit Hole

Even though I wanted to see this film for a while, I avoided it for a few weeks because I was worried it would be too depressing. Although it certainly has it's fair share of sadness and difficulty, it a totally redeeming ride of a film. I felt like the film was a nice catharsis for people going through various types of grief. Beautifully acted, I loved both Eckhart and Kidman as well as a great performance by Miles Teller. Highly recommend it.

4. The Future

This is a little gem of a film. Miranda July is has created a film that manages to be both challenging and rewarding in equal measure. In a treatment which could fall on it's face because it might be too heavy, too depressing, too cheesy, too quirky, or too pat, it doesn't become "too" anything, but rather it is just the right mixture of whimsical musings and meandering philosophical yearning with some satisfying results. It's kind of magical and manages to be positive while pondering some pretty big questions of existence, love, time, and the big existential questions. Tricky and sublime.

5. Young Adult

This was amazingly good in a really kind of sardonic way. Theron is barely likable - but plays this role like a genius. She's stunning and gorgeous in some of her shots, and then shows her age for us while she's laying in bed with a hangover. Salvaging herself from our complete dis-like of her character when she reveals she has trichinosis as we watch her pluck her ever perfectly blonde hairs out by their roots and store them in a little pile of sadness. She's the girl we loved to hate in high school, pretty and perfect and smart to boot. Now grown up and living away from her hometown Mavis can't quite get over her high school boyfriend. Which is something quite a few women can relate to. But what's interesting her is that we figure out what she really can't get over is well...herself. She misses being the princess of the high school. The big fish in the little pond and going back to her hometown is as much about trying to regain a sense of her power as the "it" girl as it is about the boyfriend or anything else. As much as we might not like to I think almost anyone can see a little of ourselves in Mavis. 30 and 40 somethings hanging on to our youth in a sort of arrested development. In the end Mavis learns something important about herself - actually lots of important things, and if we're paying attention we might learn something too. Of course, to keep things from being too neatly sewn up, in the end, we still can't help but think Mavis is too good for her hometown anyway. And though she grows...she never totally gets over herself either. I liked that it didn't have a happy tied up in ribbons ending. The film says a lot about pop culture and what happens when you realize your life isn't going to be a fairytale. But not in a sad way...just in a truthful way.

6. Happy Thank you More Please

1. It made me really really really happy

2. It made me feel good about...well, pretty much everything and everyone

3. It gave me hope in the best possible way

7. Martha Marcy May Marlene

A compelling taut psycholgical thriller that never get's boring, even if we are smacked by the abrupt ending. There's a lot to like about this - interesting structure, contemplative and wound, great photography, and compelling issues. Tense. Excellent exploration of psychological illness and the dynamics of group think while still managing to tackle some questions about the nature of reality and morality. Simply gorgeous lush photography too.

8. Somewhere

I've seen this three times. Look, it's not for everyone. But I really love it. I think Sofia Coppola is a genius. The pacing of this film is langorous and wonderful. Dorff is excellent, Fanning is fabulous and Pontius is kind of playing a version of himself here, but the best version of himself and adds some great touches to the over-all mood. It's an art piece of a film and I adore it. We spend time pondering what gives life meaning and we come out with some pretty good results.

9. The Guard

This is pure excellence. Dead funny, witty and awesome. A well acted piece of british brilliance I LOVED.

10. Tree of Life

It's poetic and visually gorgeous. It's challenging, but not unduly so. It has an emotional resonance which I thought was astounding. How is the director able to convey so much with little dialogue? The characters emotions are so true, you really do feel that they capture real people having real emotions. It's epic. In the sense that it attempts to capture everything from the creation to death to birth to all the big existential questions of life. And yet, it's quiet. It is soft and visual. It's a visual journey that you just let go, and let wash over you like waves. Every frame, every shot, is a little piece of art in and of itself.

The Perfect Purples

2011-12-16T22:11:00.000-08:00

Purple contains to be a fairly popular color of late - here are the best rooms I found in 2011:

Stationery card

2011-12-15T10:49:00.001-08:00

Blocks Of Cheer Christmas Card

Christmas cards by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Out of Sorts

2011-12-08T12:13:00.000-08:00

Dudes.

I don't even really know exactly what "out of sorts" is suppose to mean. I could look up the exact definition of the term or whatever but I'm just flying by the seat of my pants here so no time for that really. I just seems to fit where I'm at right now.

I'm not depressed, I'm kind of stressed, I'm very distracted, I'm often forgetful, I'm definitely tired, I've been a little sick, I'm no longer much of a fan of the holidays (I know sad, and shame on me and all of that but...I'm trying okay, and that's about the best I can do right now), I'm oddly obsessive about random things which I can never quite figure out about myself. I've said before it seems very close to an adult form of ADD. But maybe everyone is sort of like that and they just don't talk about it?

Nah. I know that's not really true either because I know lots of people who are really focused and task oriented and all of that - and somehow, that's just never going to be me. And I felt bad about that for a long time - I mean, that's the way we are all suppose to be right? Or somehow I got that idea somewhere along the way. But I dunno - it seems like that sucks a whole lot of fun and spontaneous what-not out of my life if I even try to do that too much. I get kind of snappy at my kids and I'm not a fan of that whole 'be on top of things and get stuff done' thing.

I'm not saying I don't like to get things done either. I do. But it's more like I have this rotating list in my head of stuff and suddenly it will just be THE DAY to do that particular thing. I might have been thinking about that thing for months and suddenly it will just be like "oh, todays the day to paint that room! okay then". That's just how my life works best. And I'm okay with that.

Anyway...

so I am super super super busy right now. And I'm not DOING that much but I'm just super super busy. We only have one car at the moment and my kids school isn't close by, and my oldest kid's college is kind far and then he also has a work schedule for us to pay attention to, and between just that driving people around business sometimes I'm like "uhhhh...am I going to even be able to get all these people where they need to be on time today??" Life gets a little more complex when your children are adults or nearly adults and they all have their schedules which you don't have that much control over any more. Do you know? And then I am just all about my math class whenever my free time allows for math. By that I mean that if I'm not driving up and down the 51, or trying to catch up my laundry or running to Walgreens for posters for the school project or you know, whatever, then I'm sitting in front of some math problems. Luckily, I have found a wonderful tutor so I feel like I"m finally making some progress in that department.

Anyway - what I'm saying is that I'm kind of out of sorts. And I when I feel PARTICULARLY out of sorts I kind of fixate on unimportant things. like:

I totally dig the blog Nat the Fat Rat. I think I am obsessed with that blog because I think it feels like I should have a life a little more like hers sometimes. I'm in good company though. Even Salon.com wrote a recent article on why many women are obsessed wit the hip mormon mommy bloggers.

In addition I can get unduly excited about learning that Sofia Coppola is working on a new movie. You have no idea how many times this year I've watched "Somewhere" (a movie with a very limited fan base by the way) just as a exercise in good mental health.

I can plan a pretend trip to Italy and spend a good hour mapping out exactly what I would do. It's crazy. I mean, you know, hopefully someday I'll be able to put all that random trip planning knowledge to good use, but that's not going to be for quite a while.

One day I spent about an hour looking at different companies who make macaroons. And analyzing if macaroons are the new cupcake. And if so, shouldn't someone be opening a Macaroon joint in Phoenix sometime soon. And are there good macaroon companies who ship over-night?

I know right? the least important things I should be doing. I resist it as much as possible. But sometimes it just has to happen.

Because sometimes when you're out of sorts? the only way to sort yourself out is to give your mind a break from anything REAL.

Best BoLd & CoLoRfUl (and DaRinG) Rooms of 2011

2011-11-28T20:51:00.000-08:00

These are the ones I'm always kind of partial to and have a special affinity for. I used to feel like I should kind of apologize for that a little bit but...that's kind of the opposite of the point right?

It's more fun to be bold and not apologize. ;)

Love all of these!

The Best White Rooms of 2011

2011-11-25T13:18:00.000-08:00

Well, as we're winding down towards the end of the year I'm going to be emptying my color files from this computer and giving you the best of the year. Hopefully I'll have a new computer in the next month or so and I'll be retiring this one from being the spot where all the folders are contained. I love this computer but it's so old it can't even be upgraded anymore!

I'm also thinking of doing a tab of some sort on the side bar so that It's easier to search through and find rooms of a specific color. There are labels and that should work too, but recently I've had two people ask me about finding a specific photo of a specific room and it might be easier to find them that way. We'll see. Trying to make things a little more intuitive. My number of visitors per month just continues to go up.

The Best White Rooms of 2011

On Being Grateful

2011-11-24T09:31:00.000-08:00

I've totally lost track of what day I am on in the gratitude days. Which is not to say I have not been grateful every day - I have totally paid a lot of attention every day to hundreds of little things I am grateful for:

A car that works
Laughter
Film
Cameras
Neighbors
Sunsets
Sunrises
Arizona
Phoenix
Gardens
Flowers
Green lawns
Design
Architecture
Kind People
My math tutor
Doves & Lovebirds
Dreams
Music
Perfume
Computers
Phoenix Weather
My bed
the list goes on and on and on...

In fact, when you start thinking about it I am grateful for so many things, it's kind of crazy that we lose track all the time. That list obviously gets reallllly long and includes some pretty silly things, like silver jewelry cleaner. I was cleaning a necklace the other day and thinking about how amazing it is that they make a cloth that just shines up my silver. Enough people just have silver sitting around that there's an industry who's sole purpose is to keep it SHINY. I mean we have thousands of things in our modern society that make our lives better, and simpler and easier and more convenient than any other time in history! Why we don't focus on this more is a bit of a mystery.

When life is really challenging or difficult, it is hard to focus on all these things. We tend to focus on the one big thing that is going wrong - or the dozens of little things that are going wrong.

I have that list too - I can give you a list pretty quickly of all the things in my life I wish I could change, am working on changing, wish I had the money to change, or wish would fix themselves. I have regrets and sadness and some pretty big disappointments. I could, and sometimes do, focus on that stuff.

But my goal is to not do that. And more often than not, if you remind yourself of that frequently enough, you can really focus back on what really important. And even better than just focusing on what's important (your family, your friends, your good fortune in whatever areas you happen to be fortunate - which is unique to YOU), it also helps to focus on the little things - like what an amazing plethora of options you have just at your local grocery store.

Sometimes life is so hard that even trying to focus on that requires a great deal of energy and is very hard to sustain. When that happens, I highly recommend you get to the source of that unhappiness and see what you can do to work on it and alleviate it. Counseling and/or medication can do wonders to help when nothing else seems to be working. We probably should acknowledge that more I think - that sometimes, just focusing on what you're grateful for might not be quite enough. And I'm very willing to let people know that I personally am a big believer in counseling and I really think there should be no stigma attached to it. In fact, I think it's very brave, and very pro-active on the part of an individual who seeks it out and makes it work. Most of the time people who can't or don't deal with their problems by looking at them directly - well most of the time they get bigger, not smaller. It's a bit of a tangent from my original thought here about being grateful but I feel like it would be remiss of me not to address it. If you're a person who finds themselves really struggling to be happy - either because of specific circumstances you're dealing with, or for reasons you can't really articulate very well - please don't hesitate to get some assistance to work through it. It does wonders.

Back to gratitude.

Often, we are just not focusing on the right things. We are so used to lives which are clean, and warm, and bountiful, and happy, and full of ease and maybe even leisure, that when these things aren't happening? We totally lose our focus and zero in on the one or two things going wrong.

It has been nice this month spending time thinking about things like how amazing a $1 mechanical pencil is (think about all the little parts that make it up and what has to happen to create it and send it to the store packaged so you can buy it and somehow you were able to buy it for $1! Amazing!).

In a weird way I think I'm starting to like November more than I do December and Christmas. Try as we might to focus on the meaning of Christmas, I think we get bogged down on gifts and toys and gadgets and shopping, and home decor and baking and cooking, and wrapping and shipping, and all the shiny. And we give lip service to it, but we totally totally forget what it is about and who can blame us? We've created a situation that was well meaning, but in some ways is in direct contradiction to the point of the whole thing. I'm really going to try this year to get some of that back.

But November? November can be a month where you just really focus on what is awesome about your life. Even if it isn't always awesome.

Especially if it isn't always awesome.

Gratitude - Days 16-18 - Dog Days & Lit Praise

2011-11-18T08:29:00.000-08:00

I love my dogs. Probably more than I ever thought I would. I still miss our dog Tanner who died earlier this year. Dogs all have their own very distinct personalities and an entire spirit they bring into your home. Tanner was this very strong and cool dog. He was beautiful and ever the alpha dog. Our house isn't quite the same without him.

Scout is this kind of quiet dog - she even seems a little melancholy at times. At other times she's very buddha like. She loves it when you pet her - like she could never possibly get enough of it, but she's also not going to beg you for it unless she thinks you're up to it. She likes quiet and quiet rooms. But she can be fierce if she wants to be.

Skye is this ever cheerful crazy soul we brought into our house a little over a year ago. That dog has an insane amount of energy and verve. When you look at her face she is always happy happy happy. She is difficult to discipline because she's so darned cute. She's gets away with a lot of stuff she shouldn't and she knows it.

I am so thankful for all the hours of comfort and company they provide me. When my house is empty of people, I'm always glad they're around.

that's Skye's paw on my shoulder

The last couple of days my younger two kids have been preparing for their upcoming speech & debate tournament. I helped Jordan cut a piece of prose for her event and helped Brennan find some poetry to add to his. As we were getting their stuff prepared I came across some old speech stuff of Holden's - a poetry he did a few years ago and a prose.

Can I tell you how happy it makes me to see my kids do recitations of great prose and poetry for speech & debate? It makes me incredibly happy! It is so fun to see them find a selection of poetry that really speaks to them, or to read a piece of prose and see where it 'click's and they really grasp the meaning.

Jordan's piece is a british author and she is doing it with a british accent. She does an amazing job - I know she'll do well as a freshman, but I look forward to watching her grow and learn as she advances over the next few years.

So as I prepare to be a judge for speech & debate this weekend (I really enjoy that when I can volunteer) - I am very thankful for literature and poetry and all it brings into our lives!

gratitude - day 15 - food

2011-11-15T08:50:00.000-08:00

I planned my Thanksgiving menu last night. It was kind of fun to figure out what I'm making or how I might do it a little differently than usual. I really appreciate - truly appreciate, that we are so blessed to have such an abundance of food in this country. The variety of food available is nothing short of astounding.

So I was watching Paula Deen yesterday (DANG, that woman knows how to add cream cheese to everything...it's very seductive programming when one is dieting), and I found something I've never before noted while watching her show.

Her son - Jamie Deen:

DANG. This guy said some really really cute stuff, he's absolutely darling, he knows how to cook and he seems nice as all get out.

And he's married. So you know, it's a slightly inappropriate crush on my part.

But I must admit this is a pretty instananeous LIKE that I feel for this man.

So this was just going to be a post on gratitude for food.

But I'm also thankful for cute men in the food industry, and especially I am thankful for Jamie Deen's dimples.

good gravy he's beautiful.

Catching Up with Gratitude

2011-11-14T09:06:00.000-08:00

I got a little behind on my gratitude. Well, not on HAVING the gratitude, but on documenting it. So to catch up all the days I missed here are several things I've been grateful for lately:

Day 10 - NPR

I know I already mentioned my love of This American Life, but a completely separate gratitude on NPR in general is in order. NPR keeps me company every single day. I'm not sure if I'd ever listened to NPR before I moved to Virginia back in the early 90s, but I've been listening ever since. Every day I love to get the bulk of my news from NPR. I firmly believe our country wouldn't be the same without National Public Radio.

11.

This is a self-portrait with one of my dogs, you can just see her paw there on my shoulder. The thing is I really love my dogs. It seems kind of silly in a way, they are just dogs. But they are really great to have around. I like that they kind of let me know when someone is at the door without having to have a doorbell. Our youngest dog is really playful and sometimes it is nice that she bugs me to play fetch or tug of war with her - sometimes dogs remind us that we need a break, and we need to play too.

Day 13 - Little Kids

This is actually a photo of my niece. I used to not be super crazy about little kids when I was younger - before I had kids. Oh I liked some kids just fine, but in general, I wasn't a huge fan. But now I really appreciate the perspective that children bring into the world. They're really great.

14. Friends & Family

I am so grateful to have so many great friends and family in my life. There are so many people I love and people who love me back! That's really nice. Some of my friends I have had for a really long time, and for those who are long term friends who I am still able to stay in touch with? It's really really awesome. I live far away from some of the people I love, but it is nice to know there are people in many different locations who I care about and who care about me!

COLORful homes

2011-11-10T08:52:00.000-08:00

Okay it's suppose to be like day 10 of my gratitude list and I skipped yesterday - sort of by accident and sort of because I'm doing the house cure which includes a media fast. So it was kind of by accident and kind of on purpose. Any days I miss I'll make up with a list on Thanksgiving Day.

Today I was looking at a all the color entries on the room for color contest. Even though I made it into the contest this year, I have not been vote grubbing like I did last time. I kind of figure that I probably bugged people about as much as a person is allowed, and although I REALLY would have liked one of the 4 $1,000 prizes this time (that wasn't an option when I was in the contest before - I wish!, even though I made it into the quarter finals, I only got a book), I would just kind of announce that I'm in the contest and then let it go however it's going to go without bugging anyone.

Well it's not going well I can tell you that! But I have a ton of competition, and honestly, based in the competition, I shouldn't win anyway. It is so fun to see all great uses of color in just everyday people's homes. These aren't designers' and the photos weren't being shot for a fancy magazine or anything, and that's what I love about it. Seeing how people embrace color in their homes is really inspiring.

So here are some of my favorites in the competition. I've included their main paint color as well in case you wanted to utilize their choices in your own decor at home.

And if you're feeling like you'd like to go 'favorite' some of these (or mine...for my entry specifically, click here) in the contest - you still have time if you hurry up and click on this link here.

Emily's Retro Fun - C2 Paint, Orange Chutney

Bridget's Jewel Box - Farrow & Ball Tiffany

Cory's Orange Kick - Behr's Orange Tabby

Gigi's Crisp Cobalt - Benjamin Moore Admiral Blue

Jamie's Darwinian Adventure - Behr Elephant Gray

Katelyn's Modern Ocean - Valspar Ocean Blue

Anna's Whimsy - Behr Earth Green

Ashley's Compliments - Behr Hearthstone Gray

Ashely's Muted Elements - Valspar Tropical Bay

Caroline's Pop Art - Frazee White Wall

Eve's Hot Jewel - Valspar Tangerine

Jessie's Lavendar Crush - Behr Lavendar Purple

Kristina's Cuban Vacation - Behr Retro Shag Gold

Lauren's Exciting Calm - Behr Custom Green

Michele's Happy Daze - Behr Patio Gray

Monica's Soft Chartruese - True Value Kingsberry

Sarah's Fornasetti - Frazee Perfectly Gray

Molly's Moody Glam - Benjamin Moore Navy Black

Natasha's Coral Happy - Ellen Kennon's Caribe

Gratitude - Day 8 - Quiet

2011-11-08T22:07:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for quiet moments, and quiet spaces. Sometimes I really need that. I've been spending more time meditating lately and I'm enjoying that very much.

Gratitude Day 7 - Mr. Cusack

2011-11-07T22:51:00.000-08:00

I'm rushing to get in a gratitude for today. And rather than being able to really figure out what I was grateful for earlier in the day and then spend the day figuring out how to honor that in some way, I'm facing the end of a day without having really taken the time to do that. It was a busy day.

So I'm falling back on an old habit.

John Cusack.

It sounds so fan-girly to still be talking about some actor I've liked since I was young. And it is a little silly. And I fully admit it. And I'm less obsessively interested in Mr. Cusack than I used to be. (though I admit, I still check his twitter feed about every 2 or 3 weeks, just to see what he's up to, or what he has to say for himself).

I think many many women love John Cusack. And some of it is his dark Irish good looks. And some of it is his residual appeal as the perennial Lloyd Dobbler - the near perfect boyfriend we all wish we had. And there are plenty of other great movies he has been in and has enamored many women. Some women I know love him in The Sure Thing, and some Grosse Point Blank, and some loved him in Serendipity. I have my own list of favorites and some of them are pretty obscure. How many of you have seen "Max"? I loved him in that. So there are lots of reasons, and I share them with 1000s of other women. I realize that.

But I also feel like John Cusack represents a particular type of guy who is probably pretty much my "type". He's sensitive without being too feminine. Is good looking without being pretty, or too chiseled. He's incredibly smart, though not in a social inept way. He can be a little sullen and serious sometimes, but he also has a great laugh and a little smirky smile that I love.. I personally like his radical politics - it takes guts to stick to your extremely held beliefs sometimes. I suspect he can be a little grumpy and difficult sometimes. And for some weird reason I'm perfectly fine with that. Guys who are too agreeable all the time worry me a little. He's just this great combination of factors that I really like.

But even still, why would I pick John Cusack for my 30 days of gratitude.

Well - he's given me a lot of happiness over the years. If I'm in a bad mood, a viewing of Grosse Point, or Say Anything, or America's Sweethearts can pretty much fix me up.

Cusack is the kind of thing that I certainly do not think about every day - in fact, I'm guessing sometimes weeks go by when he does not enter my mind. But when I'm looking for a quick way to elevate my mood, a good John Cusack movie will usually do the trick. I probably don't need to have Grosse Point memorized, but I do.

And some of my favorite quotes come from that movie:

"I am at home with the me that is on this adventure"

And

"This is me breathing"

If you need some zen statements to enlighten you a little, ponder those for a bit.

So today, on a hectic day where more things went wrong than they went right, I appreciate John Cusack.

Gratitude - Day 6 - Education

2011-11-06T17:53:00.000-08:00

Though it has taken me a long time to get to the finish line on this education thing, and I'm still not there yet, I do really appreciate how much education has enriched my life.

I often get people asking me if I'm finished yet. And I'm always a little hesitant to admit that I'm not. I wish that it were a quicker process for me. And yet I know that I've really done the best that I can most of the time.

I certainly could have been more diligent about it when I was younger - and I do wish that I had found a way to continue in school when I was a newlywed all those many years ago (it feels like a whole lifetime ago now). That was a mistake, and I think I even sort of knew it was a mistake at the time, but it is what it is. We make mistakes, but we have to move on.

Going back to school as a grown-ed up isn't that easy. My life as a young unmarried student was a lot less complicated. My only reasons for not studying at that time were either hanging with my friends and roommates or laziness. My reasons for when it is difficult for me to find the time now, usually have more to do with my life and my obligations and my schedule and the schedules of everyone in my family. It's never really just because I don't feel like it.

And I guess the truth is that I always enjoy it. Even when the subject matter is difficult for me and when I struggle (as is the case with my math classes). I do appreciate that I am much better at math, and more educated in math than I was 20 years ago, or even a year ago, or for that matter a couple of months ago. I'm making progress. I like feeling like I can grasp or understand something that I never did before.

Education is empowering. There's just never a time when it isn't. It opens up your world in ways that you don't know will happen until you get there.

I admit that I will be glad when finally I can be educated on my own time. By just studying or learning about things that I'm just interested in rather than things that are required for my degree.

But I'm still glad to have had the chance to have a "do-over" late in life.

Sometimes grown women in the 30s or 40s or 50s will tell me that if they had to do it over they wish they would have studied__________, or that they wish they had finished their degree, but it's impractical now. Or they would have liked to have gotten an advanced degree but things just didn't work out that way. I always try to tell them that I feel like it's just never too late! It's worth pursuing even if you have to do it kind of slow like me.

Gratitude Day 5 - Art

2011-11-05T18:48:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I really love Art. I kind of feel like life would be soooo empty without it. I think art speaks to some secret place inside of us, it's like a way to communicate with our hearts and our souls where no words are neccesary.

I pretty much feel like this about anything that falls under the big heading of ART: dance, film, poetry, literature, design, music, photography...and of course visual arts.

I love all the things in that list, but today I'm focusing more specifically on visual arts. There are so many ways to appreciate art in your life. You can participate in it, make it, view it, think about it, or purchase it...I'm really thankful for all the ways the visual arts enrich my life.

I'm not an "artist". But I kind of feel like I have an artists mentality. Everything that I love in life really relates back to the arts somehow. Even my intense interest in people is inter-related to art in my mind. I'm just really curious about a lot of things and I'm always trying to fill up that need for Art in my life. I love things that make me feel and think, and art always does that.

I couldn't decide if I should share photos of artists I like, or new artists I've discovered or some of the art I have at my home or how I should visually represent this post. But I've decided to show you some rooms I love filled with a number of different types of art on the walls or showcased in some way that really makes a house sing. I would love it so much if everyone took a moment or two to decide what they would have on the walls of their home if money were no object, and then to set about scaling down that idea in a manageable, obtainable, financially feasible way. One thing I did this year was produced some of my own art work. Some were collages and some were typographic style things that I did. I know they are not important pieces of artwork, but they are important to me, and I really have enjoyed experimenting and making them.

I just find this incredibly appealing as an entry

I love this painting from Sabrina Soto's house


There's a lot of cool stuff going on here, but that Nixon with a cup of coffee is excellent

Isn't the pixelation on the painting cool?

I just find this mysterious and intriguing

love that they have so much space for all this art

I've always loved pop art

this is from Young House Love - I adore that they've framed so many different things here and together it's this really great artistic vision for the wall.

I've always loved this painting

I adore the simplicity of this

I have a painting a little like this in my home, and I love it.

This might even be a wallpaper, but I think it's super cool.


Beautiful. I love the art work that hangs in my bathroom, I almost always spend some time looking at it when I'm taking a bath.

In an effort to show my gratitude for art today I really thought about how I might re-arrange a few pieces of art I already have in my home and how I could create another piece for a bare spot in a hallway.

I'm loving the 30 days of gratitude and being able to really be mindful about everything that is great about my life.

Gratitude Day 4 - "This American Life"

2011-11-04T18:03:00.000-07:00

Is it weird that I'm thankful enough for "This American Life" to include it in my 30 days of gratitude?

Maybe. But when I think about things I'm grateful for this is pretty high up on the list. Have you listened to it? If you haven't, it's pretty hard to explain. In fact, a straight up explanation of it sounds like this really boring concept. But actually it's NEVER boring. It has a way of making me laugh, or making me cry, or making me think, or making me happy, or making me angry every single time. What more can you possibly ask for in your entertainment? And often, it's informative WHILE being entertaining. You try doing that every week and keeping it interesting and fresh! It's not easy, but somehow they always have an amazing hours worth of radio.

In case for some really odd reason you've never heard of Ira Glass or This American Life - it's a public radio program that airs Saturdays here in Arizona. It's produced in Chicago by WBEZ Chicago and I guarantee it's awesomeness.

I've listened to it in my car on Saturdays, on long road trips, on burned CDs, on my IPod (podcast) and on my computer while I'm doing bills or chores. It keeps me company so well I can't listen to it if I have a task I need to concentrate on (oh how I wish it could keep me company during math, but that would never work! I'd quit thinking about math altogether).

If for some bizarre reason you haven't discovered it yet, please remedy that situation immediately. (you can get back episodes HERE)

Thanks Ira Glass, for making your brain child "This American Life" - it's makes my life better than it otherwise would be every single time I listen in.

Gratitude - Day 3 - Am I insane if I say "challenges"?

2011-11-03T12:09:00.000-07:00

I still remember once sitting in church and listening to someone say that they "loved their challenges" and having immediate feelings of wanting to call B.S. on that statement.

Seriously? No one "loves" their challenges. Human beings typically strive to keep a life that is as challenge free as possible. It's normal and we all do it, some of us more succesfully than others, but that's the goal. It is the basis of the concept of human motivation to some extent or other, whether you're talking about subconscious pleasure seeking principles, biological needs, or almost any other human motivation that intercedes in our life - the end goal is roughly the same, we don't want to be too challenged and we want to be comfortable, and if we are challenged, we'd like to choose what those challenges are - there is nothing people hate more than being subjected to unpredictable challenges.

So I would hesisitate to say that I appreciate my challenges, trials, bad luck, or disasters.

But I have to admit, I am a better person because of them.

No one really grows when nothing in your life ever goes wrong. We maybe wish it worked that way - but it doesn't.

No one can avoid things going wrong either. Sometimes, things just will go awry.

I have always known that attitude is everything. But boy, do I ever understand that now better than anytime in my life.

The trouble is that sometimes when things go in the complete opposite way that we would have wished for, we handle it terribly. And sometimes this causes a chain reaction of bad choices and more bad consequences that are then very very hard to start digging ourselves out of. The truth is that sometimes, we are causing some of our own challenges.

Some things you can't avoid and they are not your fault. Some things you bring on yourself. But in either case, now it's up to you how you're going to deal with it.

I saw a quote the other day that said something along the lines of 'How people treat you is their karma, how you deal with it is yours'. And this is true of everything in your life.

I still don't have this completely down in such a way that I actually welcome challenges like that woman at church said she did. I am still always going to prefer a challenge free day to a challenge filled day (and for the record, I think that is a normal and healthy way to think! It's psychologically sound!).

But I do want to recognize that anything I've had to deal with - whether it is a small problem or a very big one - has added something important to my life and who I am.

Gratitude - Day 2 - HOME

2011-11-02T18:36:00.000-07:00

As mentioned in a prior post, I'm doing the 20 min for 20 days home cure and I'm really liking the results. No big changes, but what I like about it is that it forces you to really take a look at your home and prioritize changes.

Today I created cleared out some stuff that was just taking up space and energy and that felt nice.

I'm really grateful for my home, and I want to acknowledge that if only to myself. Sometimes it's easy to get a little discouraged - in the past few months I've had plumbing problems, electrical issues, a pool that has cost me hundreds of dollars in expensive chemicals, RATS in my attic!, landscaping that needs more attention than I have time to give it, about a million expensive lightbulbs that need replaced, worn out carpet, dishwasher that had to be repaired and the repair man asked why I wasn't just getting a new one, broken ice maker on the refrigerator, and frankly, that's not even everything. Those are just the big issues. There are lots of little issues too. Things I would like to be able to do but frankly can't afford or don't have time for right now.

It gets frustrating sometimes.

But then...

But THEN I think, good grief! These are certainly first world problems Lezlee! "Wah wah wah...my computer is too slow", "whine whine, my grass is growing in spotty and my landscapers didn't fix my sprinkler system correctly".

Really?

I not only have a roof over my head, but it's actually a really lovely home. Even when I start thinking it could be so much better, I'm reminded of how much comfort it gives us, how many compliments I still get on it, and how many people in the world would be thrilled to be so fortunate. And then I get a little ashamed at myself for being ridiculous.

I'm super grateful for everything there is to love about my house - the artwork, the space, the back yard, the pool, the flowers, the trees, the doves, the lovebirds, my new bedroom, my bathtub...there is so much to be happy with!

I'm happy to be spending part of this month working on little ways to improve it, and making lists of bigger ways to make progress too.

A lot of the time progress is made only when we take the time to really appreciate what is, and think about what we can do in small steps to make it better.

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 1 - My Kids

2011-11-01T17:17:00.000-07:00

As an experiment in gratitude, and relating to Thanksgiving, I am dedicating this month to a different thing each day that I am grateful for, and on that day I will try to work in some way to give a little extra appreciation for that thing.

So this is Day 1, and I can't think of anything better to celebrate today than my kids.

I love this photo of my kids. It's from a few years ago and it reminds me of a lot of things that I adore about them, and a lot of things that are important when you're a parent. What I remember about that day is that I had limited time and was rushing to take some photos of them on a Saturday and I was trying to get photos to use for a Christmas card. There was some complaining about the clothes I had picked out for them and there was also some difficulty in the photo shoot itself. At various times one or the other of them were a little grumpy and wanted it to be over. But in the midst of all of that - in the midst of some chaos and imperfection and irritation - they were funny, and fun and cute and a joy to be around. I found myself laughing unexpectedly at moments like this where Brennan spontaneously decided to break out the "rock on" stance while his siblings looked on in slight confusion. It's one of those moments when you realize as a parent "my life is perfect right now in this moment, even though it is NOT perfect." We should all have more moments like that every day.

I remember showing the photos to the kids' dad and he expressed some doubt about the quality of what I'd done. I think in his mind, these did not look like Christmas photos, they weren't funny enough, nor were they serious enough, they looked - well, they looked like what they were - rushed and in the middle of a hectic day and everything was slightly fly by the seat of our pants. There was no single photo where every kid looked perfect at the same time.

But even then I sort of knew - it's not about that. Life is never like that and kids are never like that. I have always looked at these photos as a brief moment in time where everything actually was perfect because I saw it for what it was, and that was pretty great.

Today sort of worked out that things fell in line and we had time for the kids and I to grab some food together at a restaurant and see a movie together. It was another fly by the seat of our pants moment. Sometimes you have to just take advantage of a moment like that when you can. And it fit perfectly with my goal of being more grateful and celebrating my chosen gratitude of the day.

In the car driving home there was laughing, even some punching and some teasing in the back seat. They aren't little kids anymore but that stuff never seems to really go away. These days, if I have a moment with the 3 of them together, it's really precious to me because I don't think that these moments are going to last long.

They are 3 amazing individuals and I feel extraordinarly grateful they are mine.

Bag's to Love - And how to find them for less

2011-10-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

Kate Spade has some great looking bags this fall/winter. On the scale of expensive bags they fall in the reasonable category. Yes, they're still pricey. But they're not so pricey that they're completely out of a normal person's ability to obtain.

A couple of tips for finding a Kate Spade bag at a lesser price:

Wait until it becomes last seasons bag and it will be reduced in price. Kate Spade does have a few outlet stores as well, and you can find them a little less expensively there.

When the new bags come out, take note of the ones you like the most, the color, style, and the price - THEN start checking websites like ebay. At first, you won't be able to get one for a good deal (and if you can, you should be very suspicious of that deal, although Ebay tries to curtail knock-off activity on the site, it does happen and any bag that is way too good of a price to be true, probably is). But eventually, as the season changes you will be able to find them less expensively. Some women do buy a lot of bags and sell them to buy different bags and usually those are slightly used, but not enough to make a big difference to you if you shop the site carefully. Also, some people get them as gifts around the Holidays, find that they are difficult to return for a cash refund, and decide to sell them instead.

If you do your homework and keep your eyes open, you might find your favorite bag for far less. Whether you like Kate Spade, Coach, or you've had your eyes on a Michael Kors bag, the principles are the same.

Or ask for one as a gift, I have had that work before too. :)

This is the Shuffled Spade Bon Shopper - $145 currently

The red Pastiche Darcy, currently price is $395

the matchbook bon shopper, currently $145

How gorgeous is this color? This is the Knightsbridge Helena, $495

The Gold Coast Maryanne in red, $395


This is the Fanfare Brette, current price $295

The Cure for your Home

2011-10-28T00:17:00.000-07:00

So for the next 20 days on Apartment Therapy I'm following "The Cure". And though The CURE, is one of my favorite bands of all time, we're not talking about the Robert Smith led british band.

No, if you want to follow "The Cure" for your home you can find it HERE (apt. therapy) But basically what it is, are daily 20 minute steps you can take to re-vitalize your home. Some cleaning, but also just some re-thinking, and a re-juvenating of sorts.

I sort of feel like I don't have time for it. And yet, 20 minutes a day is not that much, and it is helping me to feel like things around my house are in less of a rut.

Back up...

Actually I feel like things around my house are in a pretty MAJOR rut at the moment, and I'd like to do something about that, but I really don't have much time to devote to it, and "The Cure" is helping me find a way to re-think it and maybe plan some projects in tiny bite sizes that I can accomplish.

Up until about a week ago I was thinking that it would probably be a long time before I painted anything inside my house. But now I'm thinking maybe I would like to paint something. Maybe painting would give me some much needed ooomph around here. But I'm getting ahead of myself a bit here - back to the Cure.

So each day there are these little assignments. They can be as small as buying flowers for your home. Or as large as doing some quick cleaning of floors. And yesterday's assignment was to find some photos of some home inspiration that really truly feels like "you".

I collect all these images all the time. And truly, there's nothing I save that I don't admire in some way - either the color, the furniture, the style of just something about the space is happy and lovely. They are all a little tiny part of me in a way. Which made me think this task was not all that useful for me. I save images all the time. And then I share them here with you.

But I realized that most of those images are not necessarily something I'm going to use. I like them, but that doesn't mean I would actually implement them. So I spent the last hour or so going through all my most recent "saves" of images - all images I've saved since about summer. And what I found were that there were particular things that really spoke to me - that I thought "YES, I want to do that". So I'm sharing those personal favorites here with you.

And part of that process has led me to conclude that there are some very specific things I'd like to accomplish in 2012 in my home. And now that I have a direction I'm trying to head, I think maybe I can actually accomplish some of these things.

The 2012 Goal The List & Images:

1. Declutter and create some cleaner lines:

There are a lot of things I like about this image but here are the things that really stood out for me personally. I love that painting over the fire place. I would like to re-think the placement of some of my art and paintings. I also love how clean all the surfaces are here. I think I need to completely clean out my book shelves in my family room, and the mantle and really clean up the whole fireplace portion of that room to a neater more cohesive whole. I also love the couple of glass vases they have on the hearth. I'd like to find something pretty for the hearth. (and I really adore glass, I don't have nearly enough of it). I'm also a huge fan of the tile. I'm probably stuck with the tile I currently have on my fireplace for at least a while, but someday I'd like to change it. I also really like this kind of boring carpet. My carpet in my family room is SHOT and I'd like to price carpet and make it a goal next year of replacing it. I think I might really like a carpet like this.

2. Molded Chair

I'd like to focus on finding a chair like this - or another style, but a mid-century molded chair. There are many of them that were made and were not really name brand, and those could be found for cheap and painted with high gloss paint. I saw a make-over of one on a website yesterday and they can be sometimes found cheap on Craig's list or at a garage sale, etc. I have a couple of spots around that I'd love to have some of these.

3. Awesome Chair Fabric

I have a chair in the front room I'd really like to re-cover. To be honest, my dog climbs in that particular chair all the time though, so I'm a little loathe to do it in anything I really cared about. What I'm thinking would be great though is if I could have someone help me make 2 or 3 slip covers that I liked. That way They could just be thrown in the wash and rotated. Wouldn't that be great? They wouldn't be perfect looking or anything - just a nice change and an easy way to keep that chair cleaner. Some would say to make the dog stay off, but I just don't have the heart to tell her no on that particular chair. It's not an expenisive chair, and she loves to watch the street from there.

4. Greens and Blues

One thing I noticed when going through all these images is I am very drawn right now to blues and greens and yellows and some reds. But MOSTLY, blues and greens. I do not have much blue in my house, nor have a typically liked blue all that much in the past, but I'm starting to think blue in my family room might be a fun change. It's been two different shades of green, but I've never tried any other color back there. Blue might be a fun change.

5. A Most Excellent Blue

And I super LOVE this particular blue. With green and yellow and red accents? I love this idea.

6. And this is just a fantasy or two:

Nothing here will happen this year but - I adore adore adore those chairs. Wouldn't it be simply awesome to find some like these? Even that print on the fabric is super great. And that light fixture is to die for, and I looooove the art work too. This is just fantasy time. But it makes me lightheaded and happy to look at it.

And this??????? Practically Perfect in every way. But the lesson here is that someday in the future, I want to re-do the small bathroom in a tile just like this.

I don't have much money to make any big changes this year, but if I could afford to change the carpet, paint is not that much, and I think I could do most of the other small things not very expensively either.

It feels nice to have some direction and an idea of what I could do to improve things a little at a time.

Apartment Therapy Room For Color Contest - AGAIN!

2011-10-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

Remember a couple of years ago I fought hard and made it to the quarter finals in the Room for Color contest for Apartment Therapy? (but alas did not win...I did get a free design book for making it into the quarter finals though)

Last year I tried again, but failed to even make the cut into the contest. :( I felt like I'd completely lost my mojo.

This year I decided to enter my bedroom. I know it's a totally insane green. I get it, people often think I've lost my mind. But I honestly really love it. It makes me happy EVERY SINGLE DAY.

And guess what? I'm back in the contest again for the Western Division! I'm very happy about that.

There are some other really great rooms in the contest so far, and I'm sure there will be more great rooms to come so I understand I'm up against some difficult odds. (this sounds like the speech people make when they say "it's an honor to be nominated...) But seriously, it is!

But if you have a minute to pop over to apartment therapy and vote "like" on my entry, that would be super awesome. You do have to sign - in (If you voted for me last time, you had to sign in then too).

VOTE HERE

I'll love you forever.

And just for fun, here are ALL the photos I took of my room (you could only submit 5 for the contest)

Shutterbug

2011-10-23T14:10:00.000-07:00

I love photography and I mourn the loss of my time that I used to devote to it. Sometimes when you have a bunch of different important things to do and a few things that you just like to do, all the "HAVE to do's" have to come first and the "like to do's" have to come second and third and fourth and sometimes there is just not enough time for all of the "likes". Or in this case, even though I actually love it, I just haven't had the time for it at all.

Maybe someday soon. I have a 30 day photographic challenge I would really like to do, but I've got to find a month that I know I could commit to it. In the meantime, I still like to check my photos on flickr and see what people search for and "favorite" of the things I've already done. I still occasionaly get a notice from JPG magazine from the photo that got published, letting me know someone is a "fan" of that photo. This was the photo that got published and it's still my number one photo on flickr too:

Scone Palace, Scotland, UK

Rounding out my other top 20 photos are:

Hollie poses as Marilyn Monroe, Roosevelt District, Phoenix Arizona

Jordan and friends at her Diva Party, Paradise Valley, Arizona

Jordan wades in Lake Saguaro, Arizona

Tie Dye sways in the wind, Greer Arizona

My front room, my piano, Phoenix Arizona

Hilary rests on a ledge, Downtown Phoenix, Arizona

Wolf, Yellowstone Park, Montana

blue marbles, my front room, Phoenix Arizona

Old Man of Storr, Skye, Scotland

Marshmallow trees, two-top, on the Idaho, Montana border

Isle of Skye, Scotland, UK

Hollie, Downtown Phoenix, Arizona

Roxanne, downtown Phoenix, Arizona

My pool, my backyard, Phoenix Arizona

The rocks near Carmel, Pacific Coast Highway, California

Jordan at the start of a monsoon storm, Chandler Arizona

Jordan on the red rocks, Sedona, Arizona

A ruined Abby, Scotland UK

My dresser, my bedroom, Phoenix Arizona

It's fun to see all the different places I've been able to take photos. I'm sure I'll have time to devote to it as a hobby some day when I finish school.

Fun Fall Fashions

2011-10-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

I love fashion. I don't always have the budget for it that I'd like, and depending on weight fluctuations, I can't always fit into everything I'd like to wear! But I do love it.

When I was young I used to look so forward to the 17 magazine issue that came out in August - the back to school and fall fashions issue. It was about twice as thick as the usual edition and I would pour over the photos repeatedly until I had nearly everything memorized. I still remember some of those ad campaigns for Bass shoes and Izod and Benetton like it was yesterday.

My friend and I used to love to sit down with catalogues and go through every single page and determine which clothes looked more like I should wear them and which looked more like her.

My number 1 goal in life when I was about 14, was to grow up, move to Salt Lake City (I guess because that was the only "city" I was familiar with and it seemed more realistic), get a cool apartment, get a job, and wear lots of amazing clothes. Most importantly this wardrobe needed to include hats. I had absolutely no idea what the unspecified job would be making enough money and having the confidence to pull off wearing hats. I was very specific about the hats!

Still makes me smile to think about it. It was FUN to have that fantasy!

Today I still look through the September issue of Vogue, and think about what outfits I would wear if money and body type were no issue. Old habits die hard.

It is still FUN. :)

There are two clothing companies I really like though, who I always kind of keep track of just because I so often love what they do. Here are some great fall clothes from Kate Spade (probably my favorite designer) and JCrew.

I don't know if the imbed on this video will work. It is an awesome video about older women who use fashion as a means to express their creativity. Love it! (you might want to go over there on the side bar and pause culture club before you press to watch)

PINK! Not just for little girls...

2011-10-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

Pink rooms are some of the most frequently visited posts on this blog. Which only leads me to conclude that there are many women (and maybe men, it's possible) out there who have never quite gotten over their love of pink.

I think I've shared the story before (in fact, I'm nearly positive) that I wanted a pink bedroom when I was a little girl. And my mother allowed me to pick a white which she claimed was pink. You know when you go the paint store and they have that one brochure or paint chip with various shades of "white" but they have the slightest hint of a color? There's usually one which leans slightly pink, and slightly blue and slightly yellow...but they are really still white? Yeah, that's the pink we chose. My mom has a thing for white walls. Which may explain my tendency to go all out when I decide on a color.

I'd still like to do a room shockingly pink at some point in my life. For now, I collect images of rooms I love with pink hues.

Modern Rustic, French & English Country, Spanish Cottage and other primitive styles.

2011-10-15T20:15:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine may have the opportunity to completely decorate an entire house sometime in the next year or so. And that can be a kind of daunting task. Especially if you're pretty much starting from scratch trying to build a whole decor and style that reflect who you are while being fun and new and hopefully current.

We started brain storming what her tastes are, and she had a pretty good idea of the sort of things she likes - many of the elements, without necessarily knowing what the over-all style would be. She referred to it as 'eclectic'. Which I often hear people say when they are at a bit of a loss for how their various components and styles all fit together. But we came up with some styles that are definitely her and then we came up with a way for her to incorporate them all into something uniquely perfect.

And this process is something you can do yourself if you aren't positive what your style should be.

We started out knowing she likes shabby chic (kind of - she likes many of the elements of it but she's not sold on all the white washed stuff and the pastels):

Although lots of cute things here, it isn't quite exactly what she's looking for. And the shabby thing feels kind of tired sometimes.

Next up we looked at french and english country:

There are a lot of things she likes here, though some elements get a little too cluttered and stuffy. Then we looked at Cottage Style:

Here some of the farm house elements are appreciated. But it's still a bit of a confluence of styles that really appeals to her. Next we looked at Modern Country:

The cleaner lines of modern country are a great element here. We also looked at Rustic:

and here, it kind of felt like we were getting someone - a mix of different styles combining elements of things she likes and defining her own goals and style. What ended up being discovered is that she loved the idea of creating a sort of new genre (though not totally) - and we kind of dubbed it Spanish Cottage. Since she will be (more than likely) in a stucco home, and she loves aboriginal art and artifacts from Mexico, Central and South America, combining elements of all of these felt like it would be creating a beautiful Spanish Cottage.

Maybe a little like some of these elements:

I love this idea. It was fun kind of trying to figure out how to mix styles and elements to come up with something that would work to incorporate all the things she likes.

It's not your Grandma's Wallpaper...

2011-10-11T16:44:00.000-07:00

Wallpaper used to conjure up images of your Grandma's house with pink florals and intricate little dainty designs.

Or you might think of the 80s and 90s with all those gosh darned wallpaper borders of ducks and baskets and ribbons.

Ewwww.

But wallpaper is very hip again - and I can look very chic. It can also be a little pricey sometimes - but this is where it pays to indulge yourself by doing one small area - one accent wall that will make your whole room. Think of it as art on a wall that covers the entire space. Because today's cool wallpapers are very much like an art installation in your home.

Trends tend towards geometrics, LARGE scale florals, damasks & paisley's, bold colors and metallics or metallic accents.

Geometrics & Organics:

Large Scale Florals & Damasks:

And Metalics:

Wallpaper can be a fun way to add a little oomph to your decor! A couple of cool companies making great Wallpaper are Jonathan Adler & and online company called Flavor Paper. Flavor Paper actually makes their wallpapers by silk screening and they can even do custom designs. How cool is that?

I'd like to thank my agent...

2011-10-08T11:04:00.000-07:00

Actually, I don't even have an agent, but I won an award anyway. :) (it would be cool to have an agent, if only to be able to say on occasion "I don't know if I'm available...call my agent"...I would also like to be able to use the phrase "have my people call your people"...it would be nice to have "people")

But I digress!

Here is the award... ta da:

It is lovely, is it not?

I was awarded by Christina of 29notdeadbutdying - I've only recently discovered Christina's blog, and I really love her writing. She has some lovely poems and her brain seems to work in some similar ways to mine.

It's fun getting blog awards because now I get to tell you some random facts about myself, and of course, I'm all about random.

"Take a look at what I'm wearing...You think anyone's going to mess with me when I'm wearing these bad boys?"

1. For years I tried to convince my children I was a trained karate master. It was hard to maintain the ruse once they got over the age of about 4, but up until then I think I had them pretty convinced. Also, when my oldest son was little, I once told him I was "super mom" and I said that is why he needed to be in bed early, otherwise I would not have time to be out 'do-gooding'. I saw him look at me with a mixture of "I think she's putting me on..." and "hmmmm....maybe so". It was nice there for a few years while I had them convinced how amazing I was.

Alvin Ailey

2. I'm prone to crying when something is beautiful. And it happens at times when I really don't want it to happen. It started when I was pregnant with my oldest son and I was tearing up over a McDonald's commercial. Even as I was tearing up I was thinking "good grief! this is a McDonald's commercial! You shouldn't be crying. Advertising executives sat in a room and came up with this crappy sappy premise involving ice skating and an adorable little African American boy and Santa Claus to make you buy more french fry's!" But it didn't matter. I cried every time I saw the darn thing. But it's not just hokey stuff that makes me emotional. Beautiful music does it, literature, poems, nature, sunsets, little kids, kindness, and dance. I can't go to a ballet without knowing my make-up is going to get all messed up.

photo credit to my son Holden, who took this great photo

3. I'm absolutely shocked at how much I love the desert. I didn't even grow up here! But I just adore it. I think it is stunning and beautiful. It's so unexpected, the feelings I have about it. It's sad that not everyone sees it. My son and I were watching a show on television and the people on the show travelled to Arizona and when they got off the plane and they started showing desert footage around Phoenix he said "oh...I love Arizona". He said it almost under his breath. I was glad to hear it's seeped into him as well. Loving the desert is almost like you have this secret knowledge that not every else has.

I like to think he's never gotten married yet in his life because he still hasn't met me. We're obviously soul mates.

4. I've had a crush on John Cusack for over 25 years now. It's long time to have a crush on someone. He hasn't had any movies come out in the past few years that I've been totally sold on. But I still really, really like him. Yes, I think he's cute, and I know most women love him because of his portrayal of Lloyd Dobbler. And who doesn't love Lloyd, of course. But I love that little piece of himself he brings into every character he plays. I've always felt John and I would be good friends. I know every stinking fan in the world thinks that about the celebrity they like. But in my case, it doesn't make it any less true.

One of my faves.

5. I like quirky films that NO ONE ELSE likes. Well, I shouldn't say no one else likes them. I should say, they are harder to like for the average person. I like challenging films sometimes. I might be in a film and absolutely loving it while people all around me are getting up and walking out in bewilderment. I'm sort of at the point where I am really careful about who I invite to watch a particular film with me. And often, that means I go alone. And I'm totally okay with that the majority of the time. It means I get to really enjoy myself and watch without worrying the person I am with might not be as enamoured with what's happening on the screen as I am. I'll save my top 10 films of 2011 until the end of the year, but I guarantee there are a few quirky ones in there!

Okay passing along the honors to someone else -

I'd like to nominate a blog that frequently cracks me up. It is the blog of Hailey Broadbent. She doesn't keep it up to date as much since the birth of her son (having an absolutely adorable baby will do that do you, they keep you pretty distracted!) but when Hailey is in her element, she is really really irreverently funny. So this award goes out to you Hailey , maybe it will inspire you to write something snarky and fun. :)

RATS!

2011-10-05T23:47:00.000-07:00

Yeah that's right, Rats. Not like Oh Rats, as in "Drat! Shoot! Darn!", but as in disease ridden vermin.

ICK.

I have such a major rat/rodent phobia that when I started writing this blog post and thought about trying to find a photo to accompany it I had to actually look away from the screen after I googled the word "rats" looking for images. Because even just looking at photos of those little creeps gives me heart palpitations.

Banksy graffiti because I couldn't bear to look at the real thing...

Look, I know it's a slightly irrational phobia. (though if you want me to give you some good arguments on why it's a more logical phobia than most, I've got plenty of thoughts for you). BUT, you gotta admit they are gross. And creepy. And disgusting.

I heard them in my attic a couple of weeks ago and sometimes when I am trying to fall asleep at night the very thought of those beady eyed little sickos making their way across my crawl space is enough to keep me awake thinking about why I might have to sell the house if they don't go away.

And I naively fantasized that I didn't hear them for a few days and I thought "maybe since there's obviously no food up there, maybe they got in and starved to death and now their bones are going to rot. And that's gross, but I can live with it if it means I don't have to deal with them ever again. And any other disgusting little rats that think about making it their home will see the skeletons of their brethren and think twice...right?"

Yeah right. Totally logical.

So yesterday I had to own up to the fact that semi-quiet rat number one who I initially heard had at least turned into rat number one plus his girlfriend. And possible someone else. All I knew is that there was definitely a game of chase going on in that attic.

It GROSSES me out just to think about that. You have no idea.

One of the images I saw on google was rat babies. Are you fricking kidding me? This person took a photo of rat babies as though they were adorable and cute. This is a disturbed individual obviously.

Seriously I can freak out just thinking about ONE rat, let alone a mass of them all mewling and spoodging around in a pile.

A few years ago I ran across a short story in a collection of British authors. There was one called "The Slave" by Roddy Doyle. It is about a man who ends up with a rat in his house and his inability to get rid of becomes a metaphor for everything that is wrong in his life.

Some excerpts from the story:

"When I got my breathing together, I went back in. I braved it. I went in and I had another look, to make sure I'd actually seen what I'd seen. I was half sure there'd be nothing there. It was a bit of brown paper, a wrapper or something, one of the baby's furry toys. Or even nothing at all. A shadow...

I was scared, yeah, fine. I'm not going to not admit that. But that wasn't just it. I wanted to see, to be absolutely sure. To be absolutely positive. And yeah, it was there.

Of course it was. In under the pull-out larder. A rat. A dead rat. Huge. Like a like a teenage cat, d'you know what I mean?

And I still couldn't accept it. I couldn't --couldn't comprehend it. There was nothing else, in my head, in the world, just that thing lying there, under my pull out larder that I installed myself - and I couldn't get to grips with the situation. I couldn't say to myself 'That's a rat there Terry, and you'd want to think about getting rid of it.' No I couldn't organize myself. I couldn't think. I walked out and shut the door again. And I was going to go back in and go through it all over again gawk at it and hope to hell it would be gone or was never there in the first place...

(and here Terry goes into an aside about hearing his baby stirring in the other room, and what that means, and that it means that he has to deal with this rat. For reals.)

Anyway, and that's when I get really upset. I'm nearly crying, I don't mind admitting it. But I'm also thinking for the first time. And I'm straight back in there, back into the kitchen. And I'm thinking, deciding 'Terry, ' I'm saying - out loud for all I know - action stations. Let's get rid of the sucker. Gloves. Bag. Gloves and bag. And I shut the door behind me to make sure little himself doesn't come in and see it on the floor or me with it in my hand. And I go over to the press where she puts the plastic bags. She's mad into the environment. Dead keen. We've got a whole house full of plastic bags. Anyway. So far so good. I'm doing something. I'm in control. Kind of. "

It's an excellent story. And too long to completely give it any kind of justice here. Get a hold of a copy of "Speaking with the Angel" and read "The Slave" to really give it's due.

But basically what happens is that this rat completely un-nerves this guy. He thinks about what would have happened if his baby would have found it instead. It makes him question a whole lot about his life.

All because of

a

dead

rat

It's an ominous thing.

More by Doyle from the story:

"But that's not the point. The point is -- I don't know exactly. What I used to take for granted, the feel of the floor on my feet, that kind of thing, I can't take that for granted anymore. The rat's gone, on a dump somewhere, eaten by other rats, and I've been up to the attic a few times since -- the poison's still there, untouched -- and I lifted the manhole outside-- the poison's there too, not touched...

Anyway, I'm straying of the point again. Which is, I don't know what. It's hard to find the words that FILL the thing.

Right. Used to be able to walk across the floor here without giving it a moments thought. It was my floor. My kettle. My morning. And now I can't. I have to think about it. I have to prepare myself. I have to causally search the floor every step of the way. I have to check.

My mornings are ruined.

It's as simple as that.

And it goes way way beyond that."

And later. To Terry's horror...

A rat appears. Or at least evidence of one.

"We got up on Saturday morning and the kitchen was flooded. An inch of water all over the place. We couldn't figure ou how it was happening. We couldn't see where the water was coming from. And then we found it. The source of the leak...

teeth marks in a rubber pipe"

And it almost drives Terry nuts

Literally

"I'm taking the house back. I'm repossessing it. I'm staying here like this now and in the mornings and I'm doing it until it it becomes natural again...

The only reason life can go on in this house is because we manage to keep nature out. And it's the same with every house. And nature, now, isn't lambs and bunnies and David Attenborough. And it isn't bird watching saving the whale. Fair enough, but that's not what it is. It's a lot rougher than that. Life is a fight between us - the humans - and nature. We've been winning, but we haven't won. And we never will. Nature will never, ever surrender. The rats for instance.

They will always be under us

Under the floor. Lurking. A bit more a bit less. They are down there. They haven't lost and they never will..."

Well today I kind of relate with Terry.

I love that Doyle story for how true it does feel.

No, not even for how true it feels. For how true it IS.

Life is a battle all the time. And we're always trying to keep things at bay. Things we're afraid of, and things we don't want to look at.

Rats are just a big fat metaphor for a lot of other unpleasant things we have to deal with.

Fortunately, hopefully, in my case, the exterminator is going to help me get rid of these disgusting little creatures who are not invited to be in my attic.

Some of the other things we have anxieties about, are harder to banish.

The Art of Understanding People

2011-09-30T10:43:00.000-07:00

Many of you probably recognize this image as Hannibal Lector, psychopath extraordinaire from the movie Silence of the Lambs. Thanks to Anthony Hopkins amazing acting talent, I could no longer walk in the dark down our driveway to the garbage can shortly after I saw this film. Later, I got over it. But for about a week or two the world seemed a much scarier place.

I've been studying psychology off and on now for many years. And the Hannibal Lectors of this world are rare. He was a true psychopath, and those are a little bit hard to find. Although not as rare as we might like to think.

Sometimes I wonder why people fascinate me so much and why I really want to be a counselor. But they just do.

Because I also love interior design and art and furniture and color so much, some people have suggested I should stick with those things and focus my energy there. I'm back in school pursuing a degree in psychology, and it seems I don't always get a lot of support for that idea. There's a lot of "yeah, I think you'd be good at that, but have you thought about doing this _____(insert pet idea of person giving me free advice here)______________. I've decided this response is probably multi-faceted. First off, I think a lot of people are actually put off by the idea of psychiatry and psychology. They've never been to a counseler, or they didn't like it the one time they did try to go, and they are really uncomfortable with the idea of psychology as a career. So I get a lot of "hmmmm, have you thought about interior design?"

Well, yeah, I do love that. But as a career choice, not really. AND it's even less practical than pursuing an advanced degree and becoming a counselor or psychologist. It would actually be much more difficult for me at this age, to become a successful designer, than if I were to pursue a Phd! (and I'm actually not even trying to pursue a Phd right now, just a Masters).

Oh yeah, and I do have that business I'm working on right now with bridal gowns and prom dresses and evening gowns. And I REALLY enjoy that. And I would love it if I can keep that going as long as possible. But ulimately, I probably will end up hiring someone to run that for me when it becomes impossible for me to do that and counseling at the same time. While I'm still in school, I can make it all work.

I guess here is what I would like everyone to know. I love beautiful things where ever I can find them. I love art, and design and photography and color and fashion. But the other thing I really love are people. People are fascinating. And they are beautiful and complicated and like a big kaliedescope of fascinating contradictions. There is an art to understanding people. What motivates them, what makes them happy, or sad. I can see things in people that they often have difficulty seeing in themselves. I could no more give up that pursuit than I could give up loving color.

Trying to understand people, to support people, to help people understand themselves is the one constant thing that motivates me to succeed more than anything else in my life besides my children. (who will always be the best thing I ever did, or could hope to do).

I can't paint. I can't draw.

But this art of understanding people is one thing I truly excell at.

Inspirations

2011-09-29T23:36:00.000-07:00

I love beautiful images. I don't always know what I'm going to do with them, or how they'll become important (though they usually do become useful or important somehow), but much in the same way that I really enjoy art, I love keeping track of great images of things that I find inspiring.


This girl is ridiculously attractive. I love the color of her hair (might want to copy that), I really like her makeup and I love the combination of colors she is wearing.

I'm kind of obsessed with these lace jackets right now. These are so right now. Plus, you know Black & Yellow is a great combination right now too. And also, it doesn't hurt that it's Oscar De La Renta.

I just loooove all these colors together AND I wish I owned all these awesome chairs.

I'm sure it's possible, but doesn't it seem that if you lived here you could never ever be sad about anything?

I hope to go to Provence someday. In the meantime, I just have facial cream that comes from there, and that has to suffice for now.

I think this color combination is sooo genius and gorgeous and different.

People are often afraid to mix red and pink. After you saw this image why would you ever be afraid to do that ever again?


The Maldives, at sunset. enough said.

I just love the style of JCrew, everything they do is usually something I love. And I think that coat is adorable, and I love that color combo.


I'm really interested in how longer sleeve styles have become more popular lately, and I think this orange is to die for.

Do you collect images of things you love?

Black Celebration

2011-09-26T21:03:00.000-07:00

It takes me quite a while to save up enough black interiors I like to warrant a blog post. Here are my favorite black rooms from 2011. It's tricky to pull off, but when it's done well, it looks fantastic. Someday I shall have at least 1 black wall.

Feminism & Happy Homemakers...Mutually Exclusive? What 3rd Wave Feminism brings to the table.

2011-09-23T16:36:00.000-07:00

I was cooking dinner the other night and I don't remember how it came up or exactly what was said but I made a crack about some statement from one of my children not being very "feminist" and all my kids looked at me weird. And then my daughter said "Mom...you're not a feminist are you?" and she eyed me very suspiciously as she said this.

This bothered me on multiple levels.

I felt it was a "given" that I'm a feminist. And I felt it was a given that I shouldn't have to explain why. These kids grew up in my house and they know how I feel about pretty much any particular topic and yet somehow my thoughts and feelings - who I am and feminism did not seem particularly compatible to them. It also bugged me a little that my 14 year old daughter seemed to have this very out-dated idea of what feminism represents. Show me pretty much any teenage girl and I'll show you a feminist (okay, not all of them, but an overwhelming majority I think are feminists without even knowing it).

So here I am "bandanamom" - clearly a pretty feminist mother, explaining my feminism in case anyone cares to understand. Really, I'm explaining it so that my daughter might understand. If you already know all about this stuff just skip this post. I'll get back to pretty paint colors shortly. But if even you aren't sure what you think about feminism, stick with me for a minute.

There are 3 "waves" of feminism throughout history. The first wave was really about women's voting rights. Think the women's suffragist movement.

The 2nd "wave" started after World War II. The Equal Pay act of 1963 being a big part of that wave, but as well there were other legislation which helped women gain equal footing with men, both in the work place and in their personal lives. We could get into a whole debate about whether the world really was a happier place when women stayed home and baked and the men worked.

But that's beside the point. During World War II things began to shift - women in many cases were needed to assist in the war effort and many began working outside the home. The question became do women have the right to work and be paid the same as a man when doing the same job. Did women have equal educational rights? Did women have a right to not be abused by their husbands? (marital rape wasn't outlawed until 1978). Although the Equal Rights Amendment failed to gain traction, many other areas of women's lives had rights granted through-out the second wave. The Civil Rights act of 1964 barred discrimination on the basis of not only race, but sex as well.

By the 1980s much had been achieved, and in-fighting among feminists began and feminism of the 2nd wave effectively ended by about 1990. During this whole 2nd wave the perception of many people was very negative in regards to feminists. I grew up listening to people say "those women's libbers" as though it was one of the worst things a person could be. And yet...

My mother worked part time and later full time in a job traditionally held by a man, she belonged to a union and she received equal pay. Weird. So we benefited from feminism directly in my family and yet a feminist was a bad thing? Confusing.

You couldn't turn a conservative radio station on in the late 80s early 90s without listening to Rush Limbaugh call them "feminazi's". (has he finally quit doing that? I wouldn't know, I've avidly avoided Rush Limbaugh for at least a decade or more). So much hate for the feminists.

But what I suspect is that people actually didn't like a particular feminist. They probably didn't stop to think too much about what the movement was really about. Or they didn't like the stereo-typical feminist. You know, the one who doesn't really exist, but embodies every negative thing you've ever heard about a particular group.

Well, the old school feminists are kind of like dinosaurs now. We see the remains, but that's about it.

We're now on the 3rd wave. 2nd and 1st wave are so "over". Because of the perceived failures of and backlash against the initiatives of the 2nd wave, the 3rd wave was born sometime in the 1980s. The 3rd wave is my kind of feminism. The 3rd wave embraces contradictions. There is no all encompassing single feminist ideal. Instead, it seeks to accommodate all women. 3rd wave feminism allows women to define feminism for themselves by incorporating their own perspective. Being truly liberated means not having to copy what came before. Girls today can embrace any aspect of the feminine that they would like in a way that's genuine to their own generation. Many 3rd wave feminists would prefer to get rid of the term feminist. The word itself can be seen as having negative connotations in regards to it's embrace of everyone - it can sound elitist and it can be misconstrued, and 3rd wave feminists are all about getting rid of that.

In the 3rd wave, women seek to re-claim what was lost. Bust magazine (which is pure awesome by the way) is a 3rd wave feminist perspective and many pages are often devoted to empowerment AND crafts.

As a mormon woman I sometimes appreciate the group "feminist mormon housewives" tag line "angry activists with diapers to change". :) It embodies everything that third wave is all about.

What would you like to be when you grow up little girl? A lawyer? Feminism is all about giving you that chance on equal footing with the boys. Want to stay home and be a mom? Okay you can do that too.

I hope the fact that my daughter thought the idea of me being a feminist was ridiculous means that she just takes so much of this stuff for granted we don't even need feminism anymore. She can be part of the 4th wave, and they will get to decide what that means on their own terms.

In the meantime, I'm thankful for all the gains made just in my lifetime, and I'm happy to be a 3rd wave feminist.

Art Crush, Big Time...

2011-09-17T17:31:00.000-07:00

I am absolutely dying over this art right now. For the first time in a looong time I really wish I had enough money to buy an original piece of art by this artist. I love it so much!

The artist name is Kelly Reemtsen and you can see for yourself how truly awesome it is. I don't think I really need to say anything else except to just show you so you can experience them for yourself:

Eye Spy - Trends for Fall 2011

2011-09-15T23:26:00.000-07:00

Remember last spring when I mused about wondering what the next trend in color would be? Well, I think I've spotted a pretty clear trend that's begun and will probably take us well into 2012.

Often with color trends we see it first on the runway. And fairly frequently it will be a color that was already a trend (think yellow and blue as mentioned in my 2011 trend post) but with a little twist. I'm seeing a lot of mustard. Especially lots of cute mustard dresses and clothes and accessories. And now often paired with a turquoise or a teal or especially with a tiffany type of blue. Here are a couple from pinterest I liked a lot - the shoes are from Etsy:

cute right?

And here are some of the ways I've seen it incorporated into decor lately:

I think we're going to see a lot more of that, and in conjunction with blue.

Design seeds has some mood boards along those lines that would be great to use if you are looking for paint color inpiration!

I really like the color trend. I feel like it would look awesome with gray if you were thinking of going with gray walls but didn't want it to look too boring.

I'm just speculating, but I think we're going to see more color blocking with bold colors too and especially maybe pinks and reds and oranges. But more on that in another post!

Hollywood Regency - The Glamour of Decor Styles

2011-09-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

Last night I was watching Jeff Lewis and pleased to see he finally bought a house - a 1937 built home in Hollywood. (as an aside, a plea to Bravo TV, please renew Jeff for another year, his seasons is always too short for me as it is and I would be very sad if there wasn't another year of Jeff to look forward to) Now I don't think Jeff is going to go very traditional in his decor - he'll still incorporate a lot of contemporary lines and materials. But the over-all glamour of that house was excellent. Things from that era had this decadent voluptuous curvaceous feel that is tough to find in a home built today. It's in the details. As much as I do really like mid-century modern, and a lot of contemporary looks, as well as some retro-hip artistic decor (and I adore bold colors), I also really appreciate the style that has come to be known as "Hollywood Regency". I would say that look became pretty trendy a couple of years ago and now it's being incorporated pretty regularly into homes which may be more traditional or transitional. But you see touches of it here and there in almost all decor styles.

I'm not sure that it's my personality to have a home completely Hollywood Regency, though I think it might represent some ideal I have of who I might like to be when I'm a grown up lady (a conversation I sometimes have with myself: when is that going to happen? you're 44 years old! Well, I'm not quite ready to be a grown up lady yet. Maybe when I'm 50, we'll see!)

In case you're wondering exactly what constitutes Hollywood Regency, you'll find that there is a sort of thematic element without definite rules. But the types of things you'll see are: mirrored surfaces, tufting, decadent fabrics and textures, sometimes [usually faux] exotic animal skins or rugs (the ubiquitous zebra skin rug being a prime example), chinoiserie, classic furniture lines which are NOT over-scaled as more contemporary furniture pieces often are, lacquer and glossy finishes, pops of bold color, chandeliers, fringe, french furniture pieces, intricate mirrors, bold doors, trellis patterns, mixtures of chunky ceramics and glass or metal accessories (example: chinese dragons or the like would be excellent in a bold green next to a clear or blue glass vase sitting on a metal tray, moldings on walls, bamboo edging (but often gilded), ceramic lamp bases in period shapes, luxurious fabrics, heavy draperies.

You certainly do not need all of these elements to get the look, only a combination of them that works to bring on the glam.

More than anything Hollywood Regency is meant to evoke the glamour of the 1930s and early 40s, the black and white film stars, it is meant to be luxurious and decadent while maintaining a level of comfort that makes you want to live in the room and never leave. It's about an era where tv didn't dominate leisure time. When looking fabulous in a room with a drink and a book was where it was at.

Enjoy some gorgeous examples:

I'll return to design posts and other bandanamom stuff soon but...

2011-09-05T15:23:00.000-07:00

In the meantime...

Announcing a new blog where we will focus on weddings, proms & other miscellaneous fashion and fun:

The Glass Slipper Blog

The Glass Slipper - Prom & Wedding Dress Rentals

2011-08-29T23:22:00.000-07:00

So last month I was in Idaho visiting family and friends for a few days. While I was there I had a chance to see a couple of my friends from high school and college. Alicia was my best friend from about 8th grade on. We pretty much did everything together for many years. Even though we are both very different in a lot of ways, there is something special about a best friend where your differences compliment each other. In my opinion, she and her husband Scott are some of the nicest people on the planet.

bestest friend since age 13 - Alicia

I was surprised to find when I got to Idaho that Alicia and Scott recently decided to open a new business. I'm very excited for them! The business is Prom and Wedding dress rentals and is called The Glass Slipper. It's such a smart idea because girls never want to wear the same dress to prom this year that they wore last year, but with a rental gown, they don't have to purchase the dress, they only have to pay for one use of the dress. I love the idea!

Some girls are really sentimental about wedding dresses (or they assume they will be). But you really won't ever wear your wedding dress again. It's just going to go into your closet or a box or and take up a ton of space. You might think it's going to be cool to show your children some day, but as I have found, my kids think my dress looks all 80s-tastic and weird (it's a little blingy...I gotta admit). My dress is STILL taking up a ton of space in my closet. At this point, I don't even know what to do with it. In retrospect, renting a dress would have been a wonderful option. And if you're on a tight budget, there is no better way to get a gorgeous dress but pay a fraction of the cost! (and these days, who isn't on a budget?)

The Glass Slipper solves all these problems!

I had so much fun visiting Alicia in her shop and seeing the girls who came in to try on dresses. It was just fun to be surrounded by so many pretty girly gowns.

If you're in Rexburg Idaho and you need a wedding, prom or homecoming dress (or any other special dance or event...she has gorgeous pageant gowns too), The Glass Slipper is your one stop shop where you can get a gown at a fraction of the retail price.

All the way home from Idaho I kept thinking that I wished there were some place like The Glass Slipper in Phoenix. My daughter will be attending school dances soon and lots of young girls I know are that age and I know how hard it can be to find age appropriate dresses that are beautiful AND inexpensive.

And I kept thinking about it.

And an idea was born. What if I were to open up a Glass Slipper PHOENIX?

So that's what I've done! I'm still working on getting stock and hoping to have enough dresses to at least be able to provide cute options for some of the girls I know who will be going to homecoming this fall. I'll have long and short options for Phoenix girls and in all sizes! Next I'll focus on wedding gowns and see where it all goes from there. Eventually I'd love to have a retail space like Alicia does. Right now I'm using a spare room as a "shop".

If you're a Rexburg (or Eastern Idaho Upper Valley) girl, please visit The Glass Slipper's facebook page here:

The Glass Slipper Rexburg Facebook Page

Or go by and visit the store, they are located at 110 E. 1st North

If you're looking for the phoenix version, the facebook page is here:

The Glass Slipper Phoenix Facebook Page

And the new website is here:

The Glass Slipper Phoenix

I'm so looking forward to working a little in fashion again. I loved selling dresses a few years ago and I've missed it!

Please go to the fb pages and website for all the contact info, we'd love to find the perfect dress for you. We'd also love to hear from you if you have a dress you'd like us to consign or purchase from you. After all, most of us never wear those dresses again once that special event is over - you might as well clear up the space in your closet and make the dress earn some money for you!

The Glass Slipper is the place for every girl to feel like a princess! ;)

Mid Century Marvelous

2011-08-26T16:31:00.000-07:00

I'm excited to bring you a little house tour of a marvelous mid century home here in Phoenix!

The home belongs to Mason & Chris, and they have done a fantastic job with really cool decor and smart design choices. I first saw their home last year and I loved it from the minute I walked in the door. They have fabulous taste and have a home full of awesome vintage finds, cool art & some hand crafted touches that pull it all together to create a wonderful home.

I'm sort of a reverse snob about it, but I so love it when people create a fabulous home in the city from smaller properties and older houses. I'm just so much more impressed with that than I ever am with a big Mcmansion in the burbs.

Without further ado let's get this tour started:

The minute you walk in the front door this super cool display greets you. The albums are rotated on occasion to give a slightly different vibe. The first time I visited the house it was a Pet Shop Boys/80s feel. At Christmas, it was vintage Christmas albums and right now it's a very "Mad Men" era of delights like Audrey Hepburn on the cover of Henry Mancini's "Breakfast at Tiffany's". Don't you just love it?

a lamp rescued from it's fate at a second hand store now has a perfect new home.

There is so much great texture and rich detail in this room. I love the instruments on the wall especially, fresh fabulous art work, along with more vintage lighting.

No mid century home would be complete without the quintessential Eames rocker. How much do you love the little tableau on the table, complete with 1950s framed wedding photo of Mason's parents. Such a great idea!

amping up the cool factor, mesh Bertoia chairs, and the dining room is just beyond

There's lots to love in this room from the vintage bar ware on display, to the fantastic light to the marimekko print. Also wonderful, is the hand made mosaic below of tiny little comic book cells, done by Mason himself. (and I always adore the little details, like the mail chute just below the mosaic...I love mine, and I love to see homes that still use their's too many people install a box over the top of the chute!)

The kitchen is remodeled just enough to make it highly functional while maintaining architectural integrity.

Here's a detail in the kitchen I think is genius - this was the area for the built in ironing board, it now houses a vintage salt and pepper collection!

Here's a small thing that maybe only people from Arizona can appreciate - when it's super hot during the day we like to keep our blinds closed to shut out as much heat as possible. But in an effort to cool the house, we often make our interiors seem drab and dark - one great solution here are two windows in the home - one with a stretched fabric print framed over the space where the window is, and one piece of stain glass that fits the size of the window - both allow in some light, lots of color, add interest to the room, but keep it nice and cool. A great idea worth of copying.

Even the hallways in the house are really great - these wall light sconces are so mid century awesome!

And here's another grat tip - don't be afraid of scale. Several places in the home have large stretched fabric prints, many times people are afraid of placing large scale art work on their walls, thinking erroneously that a smaller space calls for smaller art. Not true! In this hall way the art takes up most of the space, but it really works to make what could be a boring hallway, really interesting. Love it.

The master bedroom has a great blue - gray wall color and fantasic pops of orange in the art work and the bedding, kept calm by all the black and white accents. I love how the orange works here, while it maintains a serenity needed in a bedroom.

And last, but certainly not least, is the really great bedroom they've just finished creating for their soon to be arriving foster children. Everything about it is caringly crafted to create a feeling of love and warmth. I adore the blue color chosen as the accent and the Marimekko print is to die for. So fun, and so lovely for the lucky kids who'll be living here.

Patsy & I agree, it's all Fabulous Sweetie Darling. ;)

Thanks for sharing your home Mason & Chris!